Today’s Bisexual Thoughts: “What’s the Difference?”

04 Jan

It’s one of the questions that, as a sexually active bi guy, I’ve been asked – a lot.  There are a lot of people who just can’t imagine why two guys would want to get together and suck each other off and there are women who, when aware of this behavior, will get insulted and assume that there’s some big difference between having them suck cock and having a guy do it.

And their are differences… but they’re not as obvious as having some preference for women versus men.  It’s not even that myth that guys suck cock better than women do and under that “only a guy knows what a guy needs” thing.  For one, I mean, really, how many guys are out there that don’t like having their dick sucked?  Huh?  Let’s see a show of hands on this one… but, really, there probably aren’t that many and there are two sides to this:  Being sucked and doing some sucking.  Those of you who don’t suck dick might not be able to see the attraction and pleasure in doing this and I’m not gonna get into any moral implications that are associated with blowjobs (and there are some).

Techniques can be different; not everyone sucks cock the same way and, sure, some people are better at it than others and while technique is a good thing, there’s also the difference between loving it and merely liking it that can play into this.  It’s “assumed” that guys will turn to other guys for a blowjob simply because it’s believed that all guys who suck dick will let you cum in their mouth… and that’s not entirely true because not every guy who suck dick ever acquires the taste when it comes to sperm.

If there is a difference – and this is just my opinion – it’s the rather illicit thrill that comes with doing something that our moral code says guys shouldn’t be doing.  We – society at large – easily accept women sucking dick and we have just assumed that if a dick needs sucking, it’s purely and solely a woman’s thing to do and, yes, there are guys who don’t even want to be bothered with a woman who won’t suck dick and will raise all kinds of hell if she does suck dick… but doesn’t feel like doing it; I’ve said that those guys who get pissed behind this don’t really understand how much work it takes to suck dick, let alone make the guy cum… which she might not want to do and if you don’t know why, get from under the rock you’ve been living under.

On the whole, there is no difference… except the gender of the person doing it.  I’ve heard a lot of guys swear to all that’s holy that they’d never let a guy blow them because it’s not the same as a woman doing it – and their morals and other fears notwithstanding for the purpose of this writing.  And I’d allow that there are some subliminal differences in play here, things that defy one’s ability to describe… but I’ve always been a bit mystified about this assertion on their part because if you’ve never had a guy blow you, how do you know that it would be different?  I’ve had those same guys proclaim – and often with quite a bit of vehemence added in – that they’d just know it wouldn’t be the same and I’m not saying that they’re incorrect in this assumption but, still, how would you know if you’ve never experienced it?  I know there’s a lot of moral and homophobia-like things going on here as well but this writing isn’t about exploring these things.

And, yes, indeed, I’ve known some of these guys to have had their minds changed about it and I’ve been the one who effected such a change in their thoughts about this.  I’ve done guys who have told me that a woman could suck them but not induce them to cum… but I’ve started on them and have gotten them to do it and sometimes rather easily.  Is this a major difference?  Well, yes and no… I think.  I understand that illicit thrill that’s in play and how the sheer excitement of watching a dude sucking the shit out of your dick can get the sperm flowing “like never before.”  I understand that there is some truth to the fact that guys who suck cock are perhaps “hungrier” than women who suck cock; it’s not the whole truth, mind you, because there are women who have really mad cock-sucking skills and the desire that drives those skills but that’s the rumor that’s been around for as long as I can remember.

I’ve had women get offended because it doesn’t matter to me if a woman or a man is giving me a blowjob… and just because it doesn’t matter and that’s because, um, I like having my dick sucked – period.  I’ve been in the position of trying to explain that, no, it’s not because I don’t like how they do it or I find their skills and/or desire lacking in any way; for one, I’m bisexual so it’s just the way I am and, for the other, I not only like being sucked but for the most part, when I have a guy’s cock in my mouth, it’s not that I “prefer” to have a guy doing it – I love sucking dick.  Even when I’ve explained this to the best of my ability, some women continue to insist that there must be some difference in play… when there really isn’t.  I’ve had them get pissed because they’ve heard the rumor about all guys swallowing cum so I must prefer a dude doing it because he’s gonna swallow and she prefers not to… and that’s not even close to the truth because I know there are guys who are funnier about swallowing sperm than women are.  As I’ve said in other such writings, I’ve asked them, “Well, why do you suck dick?” or “Why do you like having your pussy eaten?” and they are rhetorical questions because I already know the answer:  It fucking feels good.  Again, they’d say that there’s some difference between a man eating them and a woman doing it… but they can never say exactly why it’s so different because other than the person doing it, there’s no real difference that I’ve been able to detect outside of that morality thing that says women shouldn’t eat pussy (but it’s okay if they do) and men shouldn’t suck dick (and that’s about as wrong as it gets).

And if they’ve never experienced it, how do they know it would be any different?  I know there’s some… gut feeling that might tell them that there’s a difference here and it’s probably their moral compass insisting that having someone who is the same sex as you are getting you off with their mouth is just wrong because that’s what we’re taught.  Logically – and this is looking at it as objectively as one can manage – getting blown is getting blown and no matter who’s doing it… but at some emotional level?  Yeah, there are some things that, again, insist that it is different… when it really isn’t.  As a bi guy who happens to love oral sex, it’s not so much about who’s doing it – male or female – than it is about it’s happening; it’s about the act more than it is about the gender of the person doing it (or who you’re doing) and, yep, it’s about the thrill of doing something that is frowned upon.  Sure, one can get into that “who’s better at doing it” thing but that’s all about individual preferences and I’d never say that men are better than women or vice versa because not everyone who sucks cock does it the same way or for the same reasons so not all guys who suck dick are necessarily better just like not all women have a PhD in fellatio.  To me, that’s really not enough of a difference to make a real difference but, then again, I’ve had the ‘advantage’ of having had oral sex with both men and women and over a long period of time.

Just some more thoughts that happened to pop into my head…

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Posted by on 4 January 2015 in Life, Living and Loving


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