Today’s Bisexual Thoughts: The Real Deal

10 Jan

I am bisexual.

No, no, wait a minute, okay?  I know that you know this but I’m about to go on a rant so hang in here with me for a few!  Where was I?  Oh, yeah…

If I tell you that I’m bisexual – and assuming that you didn’t know it – would you believe what I told you… or would you get it in your head that I’m really gay or otherwise pulling your leg?  I mean, who are you gonna believe, a bunch of preconceived notions and stereotypes borne out of a cultural dislike for anyone who isn’t straight… or are you gonna believe me. a living, breathing bisexual and one that’s been around long enough and has done enough shit that there’s no question about whether I am or not?

Would you, in your mind, say, “That’s impossible!  He can’t be bisexual ’cause there’s no such thing as a bisexual – there’s just straight people then there’s gay people!”  And, pray tell, why would you think of something like that and even after, say, I’ve given you some verbal “proof” of my sexuality, you know, I’ve told you some of the shit I’ve been into that should say, uh-huh, this motherfucker really is bisexual!  Or would you continue to buy into the rhetoric that bisexuals don’t exist even after being presented with some facts?   And just why would you do that in the first place?

Once upon a time, a guy told me, “You can’t be bisexual – I don’t believe that shit!”  I replied by saying, “I can prove it to you – all you have to do is go home, get your woman, and both of you get naked with me… and then watch what I do…”  Of course, he, ah, declined to be a part of the validation process – but I knew he would.  That was a lot of years ago… but today, it makes me wonder what I’d have to do in order to prove to the people who say I don’t exist that I do, in fact, exist as a bisexual?  Are they gonna believe what I say about this or are they going to continue to believe that I’m just on my way to being gay or that, in their opinion, I should be gay and not stuck in some sexuality limbo?

You know, my friends, I have a hard time understanding the lunacy behind all this bisexual erasure shit.  With all the shit I’ve read, including stuff written by “experts” that others deem as being credible, I just don’t fucking get it:  You’re gonna tell me – and try to get me (and others) to believe that just because all bisexuals aren’t gonna stand up and shout, “Here I am!” means that bisexuals don’t exist?  Are you really and seriously fucking kidding me?  And if I were to, say, rent a bunch of billboards and announce my bisexuality (and in such a ridiculous way), what does that do for me other than maybe get me the kind of attention I’d rather not have, oh, say, from a bunch of people who might feel that I need to have my ass kicked or otherwise feel obligated to fuck my life up in some way?

If I tell you that I am, why wouldn’t you believe me?  Are you so dead-set in your ways that you just can’t believe this to be true because of what you’ve been taught or told about not being straight?  Are your thought processes so limited that you can accept that there are really gay people out there in the world and now there are only straight and gay people in the world… and there’s nothing between these two things?  Do you require proof… but are you willing to subject yourself to the only way I know how to prove it to you and more so since if you don’t believe what I’ve told you about my sexuality; seriously, it’s probably better and easier for you to believe the words that came out of my mouth, wouldn’t you agree?

If you don’t believe that bisexuals exist, why does our history, even at a global level, make note of some famous people who were bisexual?  Even today, there are famous people coming out as being bisexual and even in the face of this evidence you still don’t believe that we exist or, worst, see fit to question what you’ve been told because, I dunno, for some reason, you believe that they’re really gay or on their way to being gay?  Okay, so, if there are people who are heterosexual, and there are people who have “transitioned” from heterosexual to bisexual to homosexual, um, doesn’t it make sense that there are some people who got to bisexual and said, “Okay, this works for me!” and stopped in the middle of the road?  And if you say it doesn’t make sense, please explain to me why you think it doesn’t or why it shouldn’t and more so when I’ve told you that I am bisexual and, fuck no, I wouldn’t want to be gay – and then I tell you in no uncertain terms why I wouldn’t want to be gay.

If I tell you that I am, why won’t you believe me?  Okay, I know there’s some sexuality-centric shit going on and that people take a great deal of pride in being straight or gay and that their sexuality is the most ideal sexuality to embrace; hell, I’m proud of being a bisexual, right?  Now, I don’t hold it against anyone who is straight or gay; if that’s what rocks your world, go for it and have fun, aight?  I’d feel like nine kinds of a fool if I were to say that there’s no such thing as straight or gay people, wouldn’t I, because, duh, I’ve seen the proof of their existence and, really, if ya tell me that you’re straight or gay, I’m gonna believe you until you give me a reason to think otherwise.

I wonder if those folks who say that bisexuals don’t exist feel even the slightest bit foolish to insist on the non-existence of a sexuality segment that, logically, exists?  I know that there are people who believe that the world-famous Kinsey report is wrong, that human sexuality really isn’t on a sliding scale but is, according to them, merely two fixed points:  Heterosexuality and homosexuality.  But, um, excuse me, but if that’s what you think and there are people who are saying that, yeah, I’m bisexual, wouldn’t it seem that what you think is wrong isn’t as wrong as you’ve been led to believe?  That there is, even logically, something between heterosexuality and homosexuality?  Or could it be that since there are bisexuals – or, at the very least, people who say they’re bisexual – this fact kinda upsets your view of the world and life at some level… but your tightly held beliefs about sexuality are so rigid and insular that you just cannot believe any evidence that’s presented to you?

What do I have to do to prove that I’m bisexual?  Do I really have to get a guy and a gal together, we all get naked, and then you can watch me slake my lust on both of them and, oh, yeah, in ways that you’ve probably been told is rather disgusting?  Would you believe me then?  Fuck, would I have to do that more than once before you believe what I told you when I had my clothes on?  And if I had to do it – and, believe me, I wouldn’t mind in the least bit – would your mind be able to take that logical leap and deduce that if there is one bisexual – and that crazy motherfucker just showed me that he is – there are other bisexuals and even if they choose not to reveal themselves?

Do you really believe that I’m gay?  I can honestly tell you that I’m only gay when I’m doing something gay, oh, like giving a dude a blowjob.  Do you believe that I’m just faking being straight just because that’s my “default” behavior because, hell, yeah, I love the shit out of women and prefer to spend more of my time with them than with a man?  If I tell you – and a bit crudely so – that I love pussy but I wouldn’t turn down a dick, why would you think that I’m really gay and more so since it’s said that gay men and pussy don’t mix?  I mean, come on – if you say that a lesbian that partakes of  dick so she can be impregnated really isn’t a lesbian, then it stand to reason that a “gay” man who likes to tap that tuna really isn’t a gay man – um, wouldn’t that make him bisexual even though he might lean more toward cock than cunt, that he’d take the dick first… but wouldn’t say no to the coochie?

If you believe any of what I just wrote, why wouldn’t you believe that bisexuals do, in fact, exist?  If you say that you’d believe it if a bisexual would just stand up and be counted, um, why would I want to do something that, in my opinion, wouldn’t be the best thing for me to do.  If you accept that there are gay folks who aren’t out and that there are straight people who admit to being heteroflexible – which is really them just being bisexual with some stringent preferences in place – is it all that unreasonable that bisexuals exist even though they’re not out in the open for all to see.

I ask again (and it probably will never be the last time), what is the benefit for someone who’s bisexual to come out in the open?  It doesn’t bother me to be out because, being me, if someone has a problem with me being bi, that’s their problem and I’m not going to allow them to make it my problem – yeah, I can be shitty like that when I need to be.  And if bisexuals do come out as requested, does it make any sense for someone to then say, “You’re not really bisexual – you’re really gay and in denial about it!”  I ask, and maybe rhetorically, what sense does it make or what purpose does it serve to come out as being bisexual when there will still be those who aren’t – or can’t – believe it?

I know I’m ranting like a motherfucker… but I don’t get this whole erasure bullshit and because it’s illogical; it really doesn’t make sense to me and because I see no purpose or reason for this mindset to be in play…

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Posted by on 10 January 2015 in Life, Living and Loving


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