A thought occurred to me not long after I got my ass out of bed and moving: In my life, I’ve spent more time not doing “bi guy” stuff than I have spent doing it. The folks championing biphobia would have everyone believe that all bisexuals are doing their dirt at all times and while I’d not discount the fact that there are some bisexuals out there getting their freak on damn near 24/7, that’s not all bisexuals.
I thought that there have been times when I’ve set my urge for dick aside in order to be with a woman who (a) didn’t need to know I was bi or (b) knew it and asked me not to feed my hunger for cock; there have been times when I’ve wanted dick but, fuck, just haven’t been able to find someone willing to give it to me; there have been times when I’ve wanted dick, have been able to get all I could handle, but just didn’t want to be bothered with doing the work it takes to accomplish the goal. I know that the times I’ve gotten pussy eclipses the times I’ve gotten dick (in some form). It allowed me to see that the bisexual scale, which a lot of people seem to think is balanced at 50/50 (or should be) is tipped more in favor of being heterosexual than homosexual, something that I don’t find all that unusual, you know, being bisexual and all that.
When I’ve talked to other bisexual guys, some have revealed that they’re kinda/sorta like me – more pussy than dick – while others have allowed that they’re more dick than pussy, based on their desires and availability. I’ve learned that some guys let loose their other side in certain situations and even under certain conditions (time to blame it on the alcohol) and, again, I don’t really find this to be all that unusual and while I’m sure – and because the law of averages exists – that there are bi guys who are out there getting equal shares of cock and cunt on a regular, consistent basis, well, I haven’t met one yet.
So when the fans of biphobia accuse bisexuals of enjoying a “straight privilege,” it makes me wonder if it ever occurred to them that when we are not engaging in some same-sex action, what do you think our default behavior is? This so-called privilege seems to get invoked where bisexuals in a relationship with the opposite sex is concerned and, at least to me, enforces the default behavior of being heterosexual unless, of course, there are bisexuals who are in a same-sex relationship; one can reasonably assume that in this situation, their default behavior is homosexual… but doesn’t invalidate the fact that they’re bisexual although there are those who seem to think it does; just because ya might be getting more dick than pussy doesn’t mean ya don’t like pussy – all it means is that you’re unable to partake and for whatever reason that might be.
But I guess that’s what happens when people pay more attention to what you’re doing than why you’re doing it or even your ability to do it and then assuming “worst-case” situations and continuing to assume that if one bisexual is like this, all of them are like this. If there are bisexuals who are out there getting laid in the same-sex mode, it stands to reason – or, at least I think so – that there are bisexuals out there who have never gotten laid like this… so how could it be perceived that they have some kind of privilege in being heterosexual? It got me wondering if our detractors are of a mind that if we’re bisexual, we all should be scrumping in our dual way all the time or just “make up our minds” to be either straight or gay? You see, my friends, this mindset is bothersome because I know that coming to grips with being bisexual can be a motherfucker and a half; I dunno… it seems to me that if we wanted to be straight or gay, um, we wouldn’t be bisexual… would we? If I tell you that as a bisexual I prefer to get the pussy first but I wouldn’t turn down the dick, why would anyone think that I’d want to (a) limit myself to just pussy or (b) give up on the coochie and settle for just dick?
This kind of lunacy really and truly has me scratching my head because such thinking defies logic and even a form of common sense. I try to divine the root cause of such thinking and I keep coming back to a singular point: People suffering from biphobia just believe that there is nothing between being heterosexual and homosexual… and despite the evidence that this sexuality middle ground has always existed, oh, just like being straight or gay has. If we, on the whole, can accept that life isn’t limited to things that are either black or white and that there are gray areas, why is it so difficult to accept that when it comes to human sexuality, it is subject to having some gray areas as well? Obviously, there’s just no fucking way that I could be the only male bisexual on the planet who has figured out that, yes, Virginia, that gray area, that middle ground, does in fact exist so, er, if I figured it out, there are others who figured it out as well… right?
Our actions as bisexuals is purported to be so bad and even heinous… but I’m kinda sure that each of us probably knows some straight or even gay people who, by their sexual actions, make us look like we don’t know what we’re doing when it’s time to have sex; I know some people who aren’t bi who are into shit that makes someone as sexually experienced as I am say, “What the fuck is up with that?!” Ah, but then again, I’ve come to realize and even accept that as humans, we’re gonna do whatever we can do in order to get that sexual thrill and in any way we can get away with which, by the way, is why there are laws and stuff that exist that, supposedly, are supposed to keep us from doing a whole lot of shit that, yep, we’re doing anyway. I dunno know, y’all – which is worse, having a fondness for copulating with dead bodies or having a taste for dick and pussy and it’s alive and well? Sure enough, when it comes to sex, human beings top the chart for sexual depravity, hands down… which makes all this riffing against bisexuals appear to be quite petty, to say the least.
When it comes to sexuality, we have to see with better eyes and that regardless of our personal beliefs in this, sexuality is and always has been a part of human sexuality. Our sexual history, if one cares to examine it, should prove out that we’ve always been “all over the place” when it comes to getting our rocks off and while being heterosexual is the “preferred way” to be, it’s never been the only way. As a bisexual, I am neither straight nor gay; I am in the sexual place that is right for me and when I’m not doing something “gay,” like happily sucking away on another guy’s dick, my default behavior is happily throwing down on my woman’s coochie. If this is what works for me and other male bisexuals like me, how the fuck can someone who isn’t like me tell me that what I’m doing isn’t the “right” way to do it, that I should make up my confused mind and pick one side or the other and stay there?
Huh? How the fuck does that happen… and should it be happening at all? We all do in this what is right for us as individuals and despite what everyone says is the “only” way to do it… don’t we? It’s hard to believe that there are people out there who think that, let’s say, sharing your wife or husband with other people isn’t as bad as being bisexual; it’s hard to believe that there are some people out there who think, let’s say, tying someone up and beating them and even choking them during sex isn’t as bad as being bisexual. Yet, people do these things and, fuck no, it’s not limited to being straight, bi, or gay… right?
The bottom line (kinda/sorta) is just because you (not you, readers) can’t get your head around being bisexual doesn’t mean that there aren’t people who can be all nice and cozy with it and, yeah, even without ever having the sex that’s possible. We’re not confused or in some form of denial; we’re not faking at being straight anymore than we’re being phony about being gay because as I’ve said, when I’m not doing something gay – and it is gay when I do it – I’m mostly doing shit that’s straight… because that’s the way I am, what I’m comfortable with, what works for me.
How hard is that to understand, ye of the biphobic persuasion? Why is your way of doing things “more right” than the way I might do them? Do you understand that this shit ain’t black and white and that there is a middle ground? You don’t have to like it… but wouldn’t it be easier if you were to accept that it does exist instead of wasting your time trying to prove that it doesn’t? Can you get your heads around the fact that you will never be able to prove bisexuality doesn’t exist or is otherwise unreal and as long as there is one person here on the big blue marble that knows for a fact that they like being in the middle of things?