Him: You should be gay.
Me: Huh? Why?
Him: You’re a nice guy, a decent lover, and you have so much to offer a guy instead of wasting yourself on some woman!
Me: Thanks, I think… but you knew I was bisexual before we got together.
Him: I know and I was okay with that until we made love.
Me: Oh, so now you’re not okay with me being bi?
Him: I am… but I’m not – am I making sense?
Me: No, not yet…
Him: I just don’t know what you see in women.
Me: A lot of things; there’s just something about women that appeals to me.
Him: More than what a man has to offer?
Him: That’s fucked up!
Me (sighing): Perhaps, but it is what it is with me.
Him (after a long pause): I tried sex with a woman once.
Me: I’m thinking it didn’t go well, huh?
Him: No – it was the most disgusting thing I’ve ever done – I just don’t understand how you could have sex with a woman!
Me: Sorry to hear that…
Him: Why aren’t you gay?
Me: Because I don’t want to be gay.
Him: Why not?
Me (sighing again): Because I’ve learned that being gay is too limiting when it comes to my sexual pleasure.
Him: Too limiting?
Me: Yeah, too limiting; I like dick… but I know that I need more than just that and, besides, I like girls – always have, always will.
Him: Disgusting creatures…
Me: If you say so. You’re not trying to convert me, are you?
Him: Of course I am! You should be gay so we can be together.
Me: Like being in a relationship?
Him: Yeah, you’re the kind of guy I could easily fall in love with.
Me: Been there, done that.
Me: I fell in love with a guy once, had a relationship with him.
Him: What happened?
Me: He had to leave and go to another state.
Him: How was it for you, you know, being with a guy like that?
Me: It was… an experience I’m not likely to forget but also one that taught me a few things about myself.
Him: Like what?
Me: Like I could have another relationship with a guy but I wouldn’t live up to his expectations – or my own.
Him: What does that mean?
Me: Exactly what I said.
Him: Gotta be more than that!
Me (sighing yet again): I loved him, loved making love to him, being around him… but I love women too much to want to settle down with a man like that.
Him: I could make you not like pussy, you know.
Me: Ha! That’s been tried before.
Him: Was he upset that you liked that nasty pussy?
Me: No, he wasn’t; he said he had no reason to be upset when I asked him about that.
Him: He was weird…
Me: No, he wasn’t – he was understanding of the situation.
Him: So he was okay with you fucking your wife and fucking him as well?
Me: He was.
Him: Fucking weird…
Me: If you say so.
Him: I wouldn’t go for that at all, uh-uh, not me.
Me: Yet here we are, huh?
Him: I wouldn’t touch you with a ten-foot pole if you had fucked a woman and then wanted to fuck me!
Me: But that’s exactly what you did; you seemed to enjoy yourself immensely, too!
Him: What? Your dick was in that nasty-ass pussy before we did what we did?
Me: Uh, yeah…
Him: God damn you…
Him: You’re an insensitive asshole!
Me: I’ve been called worse.
Him: I hate you!
Him: You should go now before I lose my religion…
Me (laughing): Okay, wouldn’t want you to lose that.
Him: It’s not funny, you bastard!
Me (still laughing): It is… and my parents were married when I was born. Okay, I’m outta here – it was really nice, thank you.
Him: Wait… do you have to go right now?
Me: You asked me to leave so I’m leaving.
Him: Um, can I suck your cock again before you go?
Me: You wanna do that again even though I’m never going to be gay and my dick practically lives in pussy most of the time?
Him: You have a nice cock.
Me: Uh-huh. Well, if you really want to, you know where to find it, right?
Him: You should be gay and stay with me so I can have this all the time…
Me: Ain’t gonna happen, I’m afraid…
Him (just before eating my dick): I hate you…
Me: Ah… that feels good…