Him: I’m not sure I really wanna do this.
Me: Okay, you don’t have to.
Him: Yes, I do.
Me: Why’s that?
Him: I just need to do this but, I’m a little leery about it.
Me: That’s understandable; letting a guy suck your dick can be some scary shit.
Him: It’s not that scary; I mean, I kinda fooled around when I was younger with a few guys.
Me: Oh, okay… so what’s the problem?
Him: I just don’t want anyone to think I’m a faggot, ya know?
Me: Yeah, I know… but I’m guessing the guys you fooled around with back in the day didn’t think that, did they?
Him: Nah…, but it kinda bothers me ’cause I thought I outgrew shit like that.
Me: Apparently not, huh?
Him: What the fuck does that mean?
Me: It means that if you had outgrown it – and some guys do – we wouldn’t be sitting here naked and talking to each other, would we?
Him: Oh…, yeah, you have a point there. Let me ask you something.
Me: Go ahead.
Him: Doesn’t this scare you?
Me: Not really; I’ve been doing this way too long to let it scare me.
Him: Damn. I hope you’re not disappointed.
Me: Nah, not really.
Him: Why not?
Me: Honestly? I’ve learned to expect guys to back out at the last minute because they think they want and need to do this and then find out that they can’t.
Him: I guess I’m one of those guys, huh?
Me: That remains to be seen…
Him: Why do you say that?
Me: Because you’re still sitting next to me in your birthday suit.
Him (laughing): Good point, man! So, um, should I go through with this?
Me: That depends on whether or not you really want to do this; you don’t have to – we can just sit here and talk if that’s what you want to do.
Him: I don’t know why I’m acting like a little bitch about it; it’s not like I’ve never done it before, right?
Me: Right… but that was then, this is now.
Him: Why is this so different?
Me: It isn’t different – you just think it is.
Me: A lot of guys think that there’s a difference between doing it with a guy when they were younger and doing it again when they’re older and the only difference I’m aware of is why you did it then and why you wanna do it now. So, tell me something – why did you, ah, fool around when you did?
Him (laughing): Well, for one, I was horny as hell and I guess I was, you know, curious about it since I’d heard about guys doing shit like that with each other.
Me: Okay, that makes sense and I’m guessing that it was okay since you must have done it more than once, right?
Him (blushing): Yeah, like nine or ten times…
Me: With the same guy?
Him: No, it was like four times with one guy…
Me: Would that be the first guy you did it with?
Me: Were you scared that first time?
Him: Yeah, I sure as shit was!
Me: But being scared didn’t stop you from throwing down?
Him: Obviously not – is there some point to this?
Me: Yep! The point is that if you were scared that first time – and that’s normal, I think – then you weren’t all that scared the other times, what scares you now?
Him (shaking his head): Fuck me…
Me (smiling): Is that an offer?
Him (laughing): Not yet but, damn, you sure as hell hit the nail on the head! I guess I’m afraid of how people will think of me and, fuck, I didn’t give a shit back then!
Me: That makes sense… but other than the two of us, who’s gonna know?
Him (nodding): Another good point, my man – a damned good point! So now what?
Me: Lie back for me…
You can guess what happened next, right?
Him: Wow, that was really something!
Me: It sure was, wasn’t it?
Him: Man, this shit is like riding a bike, ya know?
Me (smiling): Pretty much!
Him: How did I do?
Me: Well, you made me cum so how do you think you did? You don’t hear me complaining, do you?
Him: Nah. Damn, I thought I’d forgotten how to do that but I guess I didn’t, huh?
Me: I’d say you didn’t…
Him: Would it be fucked up if I told you that I think you’re really good at this?
Me: No, it wouldn’t… but I’ve had lot of practice, if ya know what I mean.
Him: Shit, yeah! Um, do you think we can, uh, go one more time?
Me: If you want to.
Him: I do… but I gotta regroup first.
Me: You ain’t the only one!
After a respite, you can once again guess what happened next, right?
Him: Damn, damn, damn!
Him: Dude, if I thought I could get it up again, I’d go for it again! How about you?
Me: I don’t think I can get it up again either – you drained my ass pretty good!
Him (blushing): Thanks, man!
Me: No, thank you – you didn’t have to go through with this but, personally, I’m glad you did.
Him: Even though I was rusty?
Me: You shook that rust off…
Him: Yeah, you’re right. Man, I’m glad we did this!
Me: So am I. Would it be safe to say that the next time you wanna do this you’re not going to be scared?
Him: Yeah, I think so and, before I forget, thanks for being patient and talking to me about this.
Me: You’re welcome.
We got dressed and went our separate ways and I got to thinking about the many times I’d been in this exact same situation with a guy who had done it before when he was younger but, years later, found a reason or need to do it like this again but, well, was just scared to do it. I thought about how some guys do think that what they did when younger is supposedly different from what they want to do being older… and like I had said to him, the only real difference lies in why someone would do it then… and wants to do it now. With some guys, there’s no real difference and I’ve heard things like being curious, being horny and unable to convince a girl to have sex with them; likewise, I’ve heard things said in their older times that are similar. A few times I’ve heard guys tell me that they didn’t think of themselves as being bisexual when they were “experimenting” but as they got older, they found that they were so, at least in their minds, they had to do something to validate what was going on in their head.
I’ve had such conversations before the fact with guys who never experimented – it either never crossed their minds or they wanted to but were unable to and their reasons for wanting to get busy were still about being curious and/or being really horny but without a way to take care of that, from not being all that good at dating to even having a woman who was reluctant (or whatever) to give them the satisfaction they needed and, yeah, it was mostly sucking them off. Now, not all of the guys I’ve had this conversation with went ahead and gave into their desires; quite a few were unable to overcome their fears and chose not to do anything. As such, I had to learn not to be disappointed or otherwise pissed off about it, just as I had to understand that just because I find it easy to have this kind of sex, it’s really not all that easy and more so if you’ve never done it before.