Today’s Bisexual Thoughts: Why Go Both Ways?

26 Jan

An interesting question, huh?  One of the things my mind always seems to lock onto about being bisexual is that people don’t really think or know why a guy would decide that pussy, while some really good shit, isn’t enough for their sexual satisfaction and that women alone aren’t enough for his emotional wellbeing.  It is also quite true that a guy can be… conditioned to be bisexual, like, the guy really had no “plans” on dealing with some dick but something happened and now he feels that he has “no choice” but to keep partaking of cock because their self-esteem has been damaged and in a very weird way that allows them to think and act this way – the psychology of this is pretty damned interesting and is kinda like the Stockholm Syndrome.

You’ve seen me write (and maybe too much) that being bi isn’t just a thing to do – it’s a way to be… but for some guys, yep, it is just a thing to do because, at the highest (or simplest) levels, it’s just another way to bust a nut.  Getting a little deeper into this, some guys are bisexual because – sorry, ladies – they have some needs that a woman and her pussy just can’t take care of, not that the pussy (or the woman) is bad, mind you… and, yes, sometimes both things are, indeed, “bad” for them.

Some guys are bi “simply” because, well, they’ve done pretty much everything that can reasonably be done with a woman… so checking out what a guy has to offer is the next “logical” thing on one’s sexual list of things to do.  Some guys have tried it at some point in their lives, found that they liked it, and now it’s all about figuring out how to include this new thing into their lives.  And some guys just do not care whether it’s a man or a woman that’s providing whatever pleasure they’re seeking.  Some guys are… twisted; for some reason, they get a kick out of dominating and/or humiliating other men, maybe because they themselves experienced this or, yeah, it’s just their idea of fun.

When people start bashing bisexuals, they always focus on what a bisexual is doing (or might do) more than paying a lot of attention to why they’re doing it.  I like to joke that no man wakes up one morning and says, “I think I’m going to go suck a dick today!” and right out of the blue; if they did wake up with this on their list of things to do today, it’s a safe bet that they have a reason for it.  Folks are quick to point out all of the pitfalls in this and it’s assume that if there are any benefits, well, there can’t be many of them or, the bad severely outweighs the any good… and like they know what a guy thinks is good for him.  Oh, hell, yeah, there is the male model, that gender conditioning that mandates, simply, that pussy and the women attached to them is the only thing you will ever need and if you find that the woman/pussy is bad, just go find another woman/pussy and repeat as necessary.  Going over to the gay side is unmanly, plain and simple but the perception that stepping into the middle of things is even worse and you’ve heard all the shit about that, like, not being able to choose a side, can’t make up their minds whether or not they’re really gay, and all that other stereotypical claptrap… instead of thinking that a guy is in the middle because, um, that’s where he wants to be.

But you’re not supposed to want or have the best of both worlds and much is said and done to prevent this from ever manifesting itself in the male mindset… which – wait for it – doesn’t change the fact that it does happen.  Having a helping of cock isn’t supposed to be good for a guy and, once, I heard a bi guy say, “Well, if dick is good for a woman, why can’t it be good for us?”  Yeah, why, indeed?  People would be quick to point out that sticking your dick in another guy’s ass is a pretty unhealthy and bad thing to do for both men… and they’re right… except this assertion assumes that all bi guys like taking a hard one in the ass – and that’s not true.  It’s not even true that all bi guys have tried this particular (and nasty) thing because if there’s nothing that anyone hasn’t at the very least heard, it’s that anal sex hurts and, seriously, because a lot of people have said that this is true – and because they know it  for a fact – this is something a guy doesn’t have to do to know that, um, it might not feel as good as it may appear to be because, uh, it must feel good to some extent because guys do fuck each other in the ass.

But not as a matter of course.  See, again, it’s not that a guy is bisexual – it’s how he’s bisexual and, yes, he can be quite bisexual without ever giving his body to another man for sex.  He very well might want to have the sex; it could haunt his dreams and even his every waking moment but, nope, not gonna go there so he’s just gonna settle for the comforting fact (at least in his mind) that having those feelings is good enough for him.

We’d like to believe and hold true that men don’t need other men for any kind of satisfaction, emotional or physical.  The truth, as demonstrated by all the gay men in the world, is that what we want to believe just isn’t the truth and this is a truth that’s being grudgingly accepted… but to accept that a guy would want/need pussy and dick is just… unthinkable?  Unreasonable?  Unconscionable?  Greedy?  Selfish?  Perverted? I’ve seen how people react to my sexuality and, from where I sit/stand, sometimes, it’s funny – and in both ways that word applies.  I can observe open-mindedness in some folks, and closed-mindedness in others and, yep, there are those who are okay with me being bi…  as long as I don’t do any of that bi shit around or to  them.  Hah, I don’t think they realize that even if I’m just standing (or whatever) and discussing this with them, I’m doing some bi shit by just being myself; I don’t actually have to “do”something because I’m bisexual in thought as well as deed but, yeah, I know what they mean.

When I’ve been asked why I go both ways, ah, man, the easiest answer is because it makes me feel good.  That’s not really hard to understand but trying to get your head around why, say, sucking a dick, could possibly make me feel good is hard to understand.  That someone who has never sucked cock probably wouldn’t understand it as I do is one thing… but for someone who has done it and they say they don’t get it, well, that just kinda baffles me – and, yeah, I’m talking about some women (sorry again, ladies).  I get that some women believe that they suck dick because that’s what they’re “supposed” to do for a man and that some women do it for the exact same reason why I do it:  That shit is just so damned good to do!  It’s highly pleasurable (that oral fixation thing) and it can be the ego trip to end all ego trips to be in control of whether or not a guy is going to cum this way and even when he’s gonna cum.  When you look at it like this – and if one can look at it at all – it just makes sense whether you’re doing it for yourself or doing it because it’ll please the guy you’re doing it to.  The bottom line is that while it has always been assumed that  sucking cock is a woman’s thing to do, nope, sorry girls – you just never owned the franchise – you’re just the biggest franchisee when it comes to this.

It’s not what a guy does in any of this:  It’s why he does it and even how he goes about doing it. It’s not even a matter of when he does it – this is for those those guys who do it but brush it off because they don’t do it all the time or in certain, special situations because no matter how often a dude might do it with another dude, time doesn’t change the fact that he’s doing it.  And why is he doing it?

Because it feels good; because he wants to; because it makes sense to him to be able to suck that dick and whatever else he does with a man – and then have a heaping helping of the deliciousness that women bring to the bed, too.  Conventional thinking does say, okay, asshole – choose a side and stay there because there’s this black or white mindset about sexuality and, really, that’s an improvement since, once upon a time, being straight was the only right and proper way to be and to be gay meant that  you were mentally ill and needed to spend some quality time in the local sanitarium to be cured.  The truth is that there’s no cure for what a guy finds to be pleasurable when it comes to women/pussy and men/dick.  We can try to right the moral boat by denigrating anyone who if found to be neither straight or gay but, um, if this didn’t exactly work when trying to eradicate homosexuality, what makes anyone think that bisexuality can be eradicated?

It’s being said that, basically, bisexuals – and men in particular – are morally bankrupt because we don’t want to abide by the accepted role we’re supposed to have when it comes to things sexual:  Pussy good, dick bad.  I know when I’ve been accused of being bankrupt, I’d readily agree that I’ve taken the morals behind all of this and have modified them to suit my purposes – guilty as charged, Your Honor, but guilty with a reason and one that, at the least, makes sense to me:

Because it makes me feel good and whole as a person.  Yes, indeedy, I enjoy the sheer wickedness of bucking the moral system by not devoting my sexual energies solely at women but, eh, I’ve never been much of a conformist when it comes to some things.  I know, and even if no one else does (or even cares) that I’d never give up women because I just love the hell out of them and, you’re damned right, I just fucking love pussy (and everything else on their bodies).  But that’s not the only pleasures available and I could be wrong but I’ve believe that one of the purposes of my existence is to do whatever I can – and within reason, of course – to see to my own happiness and sexual pleasure.  Sucking a man’s dick until he cums is, at least to me as a man, is quite reasonable.  Yes, I’ve done the other stuff, too; sometimes it was quite pleasurable, sometimes it wasn’t but as a bisexual, it falls on me to decide what form my bisexuality is going to take because try as they might, no one else can define this for me because, um, I’m the one doing this and they aren’t… or can’t… or never would.  And I respect that something like this wouldn’t float their boat but one of the reasons why I’m bisexual – and why a lot of men are – is because it does float our respective boats and that even in this, the devil is still in the details:  Not what we’re doing but why we’re doing it.

And I’ll end this by saying something I’ve become fond of saying:  If you wanna know about a bisexual, ask one and, who knows, they just might tell you why they go both ways… but if you don’t wanna know, don’t ask – but don’t assume shit, either.


Posted by on 26 January 2015 in Today's Bisexual Thoughts


Tags: , , ,

3 responses to “Today’s Bisexual Thoughts: Why Go Both Ways?

  1. disconcerted72

    26 January 2015 at 14:52

    I play the “why” game with myself a lot. And I’ve never really been able to truly understand the “why”. I used to think it was simply hormones as a teen, and then convinced myself that it was a direct result of being molested, and then I have finally come to the conclusion that it is simply a natural development in my own DNA (As a scientist, I tend to think that there is a scientific answer for most things). The bottom line is that this is the age-old argument of nature versus nurture and I truly believe there is commonality of both aspects in people’s sexualities.

    To me, it all boils down to natural tendencies, behavior and choice. I know I’m bisexual, I’ve finally accepted it, I have behaved in ways that were fun at times and not so fun at other times, but ultimately it is my decision on the type of relationship I choose to have.


    • kdaddy23

      26 January 2015 at 15:07

      Yeah, when I play the “why game,” even I get baffled at times. I know why… but trying to explain it to myself sometimes defies analysis – yep, I’m a child of science, too. I think you and I could get into an interesting discussion on nature versus nurture; are we this way because we can be or are we products of our environment and, yep, I’ve tried to factor in such things with myself and even for me, it’s a lot of shit to think about. Hormones, yes; sexual curiosity, yep! Possible events of abuse? Sure, that can happen. Wake up one morning and “decide” that you need more sexual excitement/satisfaction and the kind that (a) a woman can’t provide and (b) is some of the forbidden fruit we’re told about? Uh-huh, that works, too.

      Some people think that why isn’t important, that one’s actions are all the explanation needed and I just never agreed with that because if you don’t know why they’re doing it, what they’re doing doesn’t tell the whole story, does it? Can science explain it? Given enough time and data, maybe… but they already know the answer since bisexuality is just as much a part of human nature as being straight or gay is; we know that humans excel at doing whatever is going to get them off and, yes, morality be damned most of the time. It’s the “ugly” side of how we can behave; it’s considered to be immoral and even uncivilized which is kinda like making a silk purse out of a sow’s ear… or however that saying goes. Bisexuals break the rules – that’s a given since we all know what the rules are… but the question that usually goes unanswered or ignored is why we choose to break the rules. Is it innate knowledge, you know, we’re just programmed like that or is it willful disobedience because we “refuse” to obey the rules that are, really, designed to circumvent what we’re capable of doing?

      You tell me… because I sure as hell don’t know but what I do know is that it just feels right and, yeah, it can feel damned good most of the time.


  2. Pyx

    26 January 2015 at 20:32

    It makes me feel good is a reasonable answer as any – as is saying because I like it.

    well said, as always Kdaddy

    Liked by 1 person


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