Yesterday, I got an email from “that site” telling me that if I didn’t verify my email address within the next ten days, my profile – which has been on the site for a few years now – was going to be deleted. I actually sat and thought for a moment; maybe going ahead and letting them delete it would be a good thing given how rarely I come across someone I wouldn’t mind chatting with and the even rarer event of seeing a guy/profile that might spark my interest. Then I thought that, eh, maybe I should just verify it so that it’ll stay in place… so I can observe what some of these guys will say either in messages sent to me or in their profiles (when they bother to actually complete one).
One of the things about having sex with men – and this is either good or bad – is that a lot of these guys want to cut to the chase and get right to the business which is why a lot of them have incomplete profiles; no face picture, no meaningful information other than their age (and if they ain’t lying about that) and their location (and they could be lying about this, too). In their messages, they often do more cutting to the chase and come right out and ask when we can hook up and, often, barely saying “Hi” or any other niceties. It irks me that a lot of these guys won’t take a minute or so to read my profile, which tells them how I roll and because they don’t, they wind up asking me what I’m into or what I’m looking for… when they could have learned this from my profile; that way, they’d know – and without having to actually message me – that we might not be a good fit.
It kinda dawned on me that while the perception that bi guys are always out there doing their respective dirt, it’s more like the title of this blog: Hurry up and wait. I laughed wryly to myself thinking that a lot of bi guys put in a lot of time trying to find some compatible dick – hours and even days – for what usually amounts to thirty minutes or less of actual sexual activity. It can be a bit of a bummer to spend, say, an hour trolling whatever site you’re on to find someone, and then maybe spend perhaps up to an hour chatting a guy up – and hoping he’ll agree to throw down with you. If he does, then any travel time has to be factored in – could be fifteen minutes, could be longer if homey (a) doesn’t have his own transportation or (b) lives somewhere that you need GPS to find; then you meet, spend maybe five to ten minutes (or more) engaging in idle chatter – you just don’t show up and start stripping as you come in the door – until the pregnant pause hits and the clothes finally come off. Tack on maybe five minutes for a little “foreplay” – and how much depends on how much a guy is willing to get involved in but it usually consists of roaming hands, some breathless compliments about each other’s dick or how nice their body is (and you say so even if their body ain’t Mr. Universe material).
Mouths meet cocks – slurp, slurp, suck, suck, pump, pump, and nuts get busted… anywhere from thirty seconds to maybe – maybe – an hour if there was some jerking off before the meeting and then it depends if some fucking was agreed to so that might fill in some of that hoped for hour but, in reality, the whole thing might last no more than thirty minutes total. So you’ve spent a considerable amount of time before the fact, only to have the act over in a relatively short period of time.
I thought about the last guy I met from the site and how it took days for us to finagle our schedules so we could have the time to meet; it took me perhaps fifteen minutes to get to where he lived due to traffic; we spent about ten minutes talking about nothing while he was watching a gay porn video to get him hyped up (and he was hoping it worked for me – and it didn’t). We got naked, did a little bodily exploration – he tried to kiss me even though I told him that I wasn’t into it – and despite him telling me that he jerked off before I got there, from the time I got my mouth around his dick to the time he nutted was two minutes… and, yes, there’s a part of my mind that keeps track of the time and, no, I have no idea why and, oh, yeah, I was taking my time sucking him because when you have to go long periods of time without sucking dick – like a lot of bi guys wind up having to do – you wanna seriously savor the moment and make it last as long as possible.
But he didn’t last, something I’ve learned over the years not to get upset about. It took him much longer to finally get me off like that (I never jerk off before the fact). Weird thing here: It wasn’t like he wasn’t a good cock sucker nor was it a matter of him not having fun sucking me… but I could tell he was getting very frustrated because he couldn’t get me off quickly… and maybe because I finished him in two minutes. In between eating my dick, he was trying to talk me into fucking him; he said, “Maybe if you fuck me, that’ll make you cum…” and even though we hadn’t agreed to do that, um, after a fashion, I was almost seriously thinking about doing just that. It wasn’t that I wasn’t enjoying what he was doing but I think his frustration was getting the best of him and he was trying too hard to get me to cum and since I was picking up on his frustration, it was delaying the inevitable.
Twenty minutes after he started sucking me, I nutted – and, shit, yeah, it felt damned good and, at least for me, was well worth the wait. By the time I got off, he was ready to go again so I went back down on him again, hoping and thinking that he was gonna last longer than before – and he did… a whole three minutes longer before he nutted and, yes, I was kinda disappointed that he didn’t have much cum to deposit but it was the expected situation (which is why I never jerk off before the fact).
He wasn’t happy… but he was. When he could speak English again, he complimented me on my cock sucking skills, said that he loved my cock, said that he was frustrated because it “took too long” for me to cum and he said that he wanted to do me a second time… but didn’t want to take another twenty or thirty minutes getting his mouth and jaws aching to get me off again. I kinda shrugged because that’s something I just don’t have any control over; sometimes, I’ve been the guy who has nutted in less than five minutes – it happens and I’m not ashamed of it one bit and it is a testimony to the skill of the guy sucking me.
The next guy met from the site happened two weeks later; it took me ten minutes to get to him, two minutes spend on pleasantries, maybe two minutes feeling each other up, and once I got my mouth on him, less than a minute before he nutted. And then he was so trashed from his release that he started nodding off before even trying to return the favor. That was cool but, yeah, I thought it was damned funny given the trash he was talking before the fact; I got myself off, washed up a little, and left him lying on his bed snoring.
Went back to the first guy because, well, he was fun to be with even though he had spent the intervening time between visits trying to convince me to leave my women and be exclusive with him – like I was even gonna do that. Traffic was good so it took me ten minutes to get there, two minutes to greet each other (I did let him kiss me on the cheek – it made him happy); less than a minute for us to get undressed, no time bothering with “foreplay” because we both wanted to get right to the sucking and, yep, another two minutes to get him to cum, call Jesus and anyone else he thought could save him.
He was pissed over his lack of control and it showed in how roughly he went at me. Now, sometimes, that hard and fast method will get me off quickly… and most of the time, it won’t; I know it will create tension in me even though he was doing a great job of blowing me and he eventually got me off ten minutes after starting – and I knew that not because of my internal clock – I happened to be facing the clock in the room we were in and had absently noted the time. He then reminded me why I’m not fond of effeminate gay men because he was really upset that it took me “a long time” to cum and I wound up spending the next hour calming him down and trying to convince him that he really was great at sucking cock, that I enjoyed it more when he wore himself out doing the hard and fast thing and that he couldn’t be faulted that I rarely cum quickly.
I was a little disappointed that he said he didn’t want to see me again – I really did like sucking his cock more than I had expected to – but I tried to understand his frustration and more so when we both knew that most encounters usually happen quickly because there’s not enough time to really get into it. We made the time but despite having the time, I guess he was trying to do a whole lot in a short period of time so that, I supposed, we could cram more action into the time we had… even though for both of our encounters, we’d both cleared our whole day to be together.
Most guys want to hurry up and get into the mix, then hurry through the encounter and, to me, that doesn’t make a lot of sense if both guys really do have the time to go at it slowly so the moment can be enjoyed. Yeah, some guys are one-and-done; they get upset because they can’t go again and I learned not to fault them or even myself when that happens because, well, it can happen and usually because of some quality cock sucking and maybe it’s just me but quality trumps quantity. It seems to me that even trying to suck cock with time restraints in place is a waste of time and more so when it’s quite possible that both guys are going to be very aware of the lack of time and wind up rushing to get it done. It can be frustrating to spend X-amount of time finding someone you’re willing to throw down with and then realize that you spent more time setting it all up than you did actually doing it.
Hurry up and wait winds up being the thing a lot of us bi guys have to do and, yeah, sometimes, even when we have someone we can regularly get with because unless he happens to live with you, time still remains a huge factor. You wind up waiting between encounters and, for some guys, so much that you can actually put getting some cock out of your mind… but when the opportunity arises – literally and figuratively – then there’s a rush to get it done, either from being extremely eager (and because it’s been a long time since the last time) or because we “stupidly” try to squeeze in time to suck or fuck into a tiny slice of time so that we can get on with other things in our day.