Today’s Bisexual Thoughts: Giving Head

03 Feb

So yesterday, in “Hurry Up and Wait,” I mentioned how long it took me to get the gay man  was with off.  After I finished writing it, I got to thinking that maybe getting him off in less than five minutes could be seen as being somewhat egotistical – that made me frown because while I do love sucking dick and I think I’m fairly decent at it, I’m not “all that.”  I’m not sure how to explain things; I’ve gotten men off in less than a minute and sometimes it’s taken me an hour to get them to explode and while I’ve had years of practice and have learned a lot about sucking dick, if nothing else, I’m persistent – I just tend to keep going at it until he nuts or one of us gives up.

I haven’t given up in so long I can’t remember the last time I failed to make the other guy cum – I’m just sure that I have somewhere along the line…

Sometimes, it’s not about skill or technique – it’s about being patient and determined to get him to cum and more so when (a) some guys like to jerk off before the fact to be in that “second wind” moment and, mysteriously, some guys just find it hard to cum when getting their dick sucked.  I remember someone asking me once if I let guys cum in my mouth and I responded by saying, “What’s the point in doing it if you’re not gonna make him bust a nut?”  Sure, it feels good to do it, which is just part of the whole… but those of you who suck cock know that being able to get him to cum like that – and whether it’s in our mouth or finishing him by hand – can be such a rush.  It gives you a sense of accomplishment and even more so when you run across a guy that likes to say (or even brag for some reason) that no one has ever gotten them off like that and, well, I love a challenge.

Now, it’s not much of a secret that one of the reasons why women aren’t fond of giving head is that it takes some guys a  long time before they erupt and, yes, there are other reasons why they aren’t all that keen about doing it.  It is a lot of work, puts strains and stresses on various parts of your body that, over time, can make giving a blow job anything other than desirable.  Because a lot of women do feel this way (and have other reasons why they won’t do it), well, sorry ladies, that’s also one of the reasons why a guy will turn to another guy for some head because of the truth in the stereotype:  Most guys who will suck your dick will suck you off… and no matter how long it takes.

Yes, yes, there is that whole acquired taste thing and, yes, even if you have acquired it, um, it might not really taste good… but I digress a little.  There used to be a time when I’d get pretty upset if a guy hosed my mouth down in a short period of time; likewise, I wouldn’t be a happy camper if, say, twenty minutes after I started sucking him, he still hasn’t cut loose.  At one point, I really had to sit down with myself and rethink the whole reason why I love sucking dick and that the reason just wasn’t about getting that creamy reward at the end.  So, for lack of a better word here, I minimized things; the purpose was about the very illicit fun in sucking another man’s dick, how it felt and tasted, and even how he reacted to things.  If he came before I could get fully into it, okay, it is what it is:  We can make ourselves nuts (no pun this time) with that whole control thing and for bi guys, I think a lot of that angst has to do with not disappointing women as well as wanting the pleasure to last as long as possible.  But once I realized that while all men want to be able to exercise great control, eh, sometimes it doesn’t work like that.

I learned not to “expect” the guy to cum, almost looking at this as being gravy (the pun is intended this time!) because it really does feel good to having another man’s cock in your mouth.  Ah, but what to do about those guys who aren’t likely to cum in, say, the next ten minutes?  Okay, cool – that means I get to eat that sausage longer, enjoying the feel and all that and, yup, working on techniques, and just being in the moment because the longer I suck him, the more likely he’s gonna cum… or I’m going to make him quit, beg for mercy or otherwise wish he had cum already.  I always say that sucking cock is more about me than it is the other guy but, sure, I want him to cum and he’s there letting me suck his cock because he wants to cum, too.

I was just thinking about the difference between sucking him as a prelude to anal sex and sucking him because that’s the only thing that’s gonna happen so, yeah, if I wanted a guy’s nut in my ass, it wasn’t cool if he lost it in my mouth (or on my hand) before we got to the good part… but it’s still what it is because what you want to happen and what’s really gonna happen aren’t always the same things.  Once I decided to be “oral only,” yeah, I’m not demanding that he cums… I just know I’m not going to stop until (a) he does cum or (b) he quits.  If he comes sooner, fine; if it’s later, okay, I’ve learned to be patient and persistent and simply because getting him to bust a nut isn’t the only reason why I’m blowing him.

Oh… did I mention that this is the same mindset I use when eating pussy?  As a matter of fact, going down on women was very instrumental in developing my cock sucking “philosophy” because it’s not always easy to make a woman orgasm orally… ah, but if you combine some skill and patience with being persistent, one of two things are gonna happen:  You’re either gonna have to peel her off the ceiling or she’s gonna be beating you about the head and shoulders or otherwise trying to get away to make you stop.  Sure, the purpose is to make her cum hard and often… but there are other things so damned nice about eating pussy, ain’t it?

And, yes, be it pussy or dick, if the owner tells me they can’t get off like that, I’m sure as hell gonna try to do the “impossible” because it’s fun.  Just like sucking cock, the joy in eating pussy is in doing it and if she cums, so much the better for both of us.  I’m not gonna say that ego, such as it is, doesn’t play into giving head because no one wants to be tagged as not being good at it.  Being good – and whatever that means to you – is a learned thing; it’s a “goal” that anyone who gives head wants to achieve.  Am I good at giving head?  Yes, I am very good at it and the things that make me good are:

  1. I just fucking love to do it.
  2. I’ve been doing it for a very long time and have developed skills and techniques and, oh, yeah, I don’t play fair, either.
  3. I’m patient and tuned into the person I’m going down on.
  4. I’m persistent; eventually, one of us is going to give up and I’m very determined that it won’t be me.
  5. I just fucking love to do it.

It makes me feel good to make someone cum.  I know guys like to hold back as much as they can and when I take that away from them, yep, that’s a good thing.  If they are holding on, well, how much longer can you hold it?  If he cums quickly, I’m not gonna hold it against him or even fuss about it but I have enough ego in place that if he tells me he can’t get off like that – and I get him off – yeah, inwardly, I’m going to be celebrating big time… and I will say to him, “Told you I could do it…” – and sometimes I just smile because words aren’t necessary in that moment.  I’ve had some guys tell me, “I didn’t think I was gonna cum!” and maybe that’s because he’s used to people who weren’t willing to take whatever time was necessary – or do whatever was necessary – to get him off like that… but, at least in my opinion, that’s the difference between loving it, liking it, and doing it just because it’s expected.

And, yeah, I know guys can orgasm without ejaculating – kinda easy to know when they do if you know what to look for – and for me, that counts as a win, too!

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Posted by on 3 February 2015 in Today's Bisexual Thoughts


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