Today’s Bisexual Thoughts: Bisexual and Polyamorous?

23 Mar

I was thinking about this yesterday because, um, my brain just hit me with it out of nowhere by reminding me that a lot of folks have been saying that bisexuals tend to be polyamorous… and I thought, “Well, yeah, the potential is there and perhaps it’s a “natural” occurrence being bisexual since we do and can have feelings for more than one person…”

Is it a requirement?  Oh, fuck no – most people can’t handle being in a monogamous relationship and those who can handle it wouldn’t even consider being in a relationship situation where they’d have to interact with more than one person.  Does the duality of bisexuality lend itself to polyamory?  Yeah, it kinda makes sense despite what monogamous bisexuals might say to the contrary – I’m talking potential here – it is possible and even probable but by no means am I saying that if you’re bisexual, you have to be polyamorous so let’s not go there.

As bisexuals, we get shat upon for having the audacity to want the best of both worlds but I think it’s because we can bridge both worlds, having the potential to be polyamorous just goes along with that ability – there is a reason why people say that bisexuals are greedy.   We are so inured with the concept of one man/one woman that the idea of a person having multiple loves and/or partners just gives most people the creeps and makes them insist that this is not the way things are supposed to work.  It’s abject denial in the fact of the fact that, um, no, this isn’t the only way to live and love and just because you don’t believe that “the more, the merrier” would ever work for you doesn’t mean it won’t ever work for someone else… because it does… and, yes, some of the people for which polyamory works are bisexual.

While I can easily see the potential, being bi and poly just isn’t a given since there are folks who aren’t bisexual but are polyamorous so, no, polyamory isn’t purely a bisexual thing… but it has the potential of being embraced “better” due to our “ability” to have feelings and desires across the board, if you will.  It’s still a very difficult concept to get one’s head around regardless of their sexuality and even when someone can wrap their minds around the concept, well, it’s just something that’s never, ever supposed to be done:  One man/one woman has to be maintained at all costs and at every turn.  I’m guessing that bisexuals may find it easy to be poly because even when we don’t or can’t act on our feelings, yeah, we have feelings that aren’t limited to the person we’re with.

But, as with many things that concern us, polyamory isn’t about doing – it’s about feeling and, sure, if you can act, so much the better because there are many of us who just know that we have the capacity or even the need to love and relate to more than one person and, in turn, be loved and related to by them – and that there’s really no such thing as loving or being loved too much.  The problem, of course, is that not everyone knows how to go about making it work because we’re told that it cannot work and it is one of those things that can be so complex that one’s brain can easily get overloaded trying to think it all out.  Even the inherent fluidity of bisexuality can’t make this an easy thing to figure out… but the potential is there if one can see past the mindset of serial monogamy.

I just thought it kinda unfair to say that bisexuals tend to be polyamorous and in the sense of it being yet another black eye for being bisexual and without a clear understanding of what polyamory is and what it takes to be polyamorous – from thought to any sort of action.


Posted by on 23 March 2015 in Today's Bisexual Thoughts


Tags: , , , ,

3 responses to “Today’s Bisexual Thoughts: Bisexual and Polyamorous?

  1. The Likkleone

    11 August 2015 at 17:08

    I’ve been bisexual my whole life but only in the last three months have I considered polyamory. I suppose, for me, I just always believed the party line, “you can only love one person”. I had to hear about someone else in a poly (and bi) relationship before it clicked that that’s what I wanted too. Our conditioning for monogamy is so strong but I do believe more and more people are questioning that conditioning and bisexuals are leading the charge because, yes as you say, we’re naturally inclined towards it. I’m bi, greedy and proud! I will want my cake and eat it too! 😀


    • kdaddy23

      13 August 2015 at 12:29

      Welcome and thank you for your comment! Being non-monogamous always sounds good in theory for anyone and regardless to sexuality but, yeah, for bisexuals, it makes sense to have a way to have your cake (or the whole damned bakery) and eat it like you’re starving and many people… but if you ever get bored and need something to do, sit down and think about what you’d have to do to turn your current relationship into a polyamorous one and let me know how long it took for your brain to get overloaded by working out all of that which would have to be done to get your partner to go along with this as well as what it would take to turn theory into practical application.

      People do question monogamy but when they do and turn their thoughts to being non-monogamous (and ethically so) in some way, wow, it’s just a lot of stuff that has to be thought about and considered and so much that they just stop thinking about it.

      Liked by 1 person

      • The Likkleone

        14 August 2015 at 18:25

        True, the practical application of polyamory can be tricky but I feel like if you’re open and honest with your partner and any new prospective partners then half the battle is already won. I am very lucky in that my current partner very readily agreed to my suggestion that we find a girlfriend. He had no problems with it whatsoever and it’s been a fun and exciting journey that’s also resulted in us becoming more connected and open with each other in every other aspect of our lives as well.

        Liked by 1 person


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