Today’s Bisexual Thoughts: Acts of Desperation

28 Mar

As I related yesterday, there are some men who turn to other men because they are desperate for sex and just can’t get it via “normal” means.  I also related that there have been times when I’ve been that means of relief for such men because (a) I was hungry for some dick anyway and (b) I could really emphasize and sympathize with their dilemma; how many of us guys have hit the sex jackpot with a woman and then found ourselves totally “broke” some time later?

Those men who decided to slake their lust at my expense, wow, it was often painful for me to see the fear in their eyes because, for them, they decided to step into unfamiliar territory, a place where they may have heard this and that but had never experienced it for themselves.  I’d think that it was a damned shame to see a guy who, prior to his decision being made, was quite macho in his demeanor and rabidly pro-women when it came to busting a nut or two, guys who had it in their minds never to masturbate because, as far as they were concerned, that’s why God made women so why do that when you can lie down with a woman and get all the pleasure you can?

I’ve seen them get undressed to some degree and have seen them so nervous that their whole body is trembling, not out of any sense of anticipation but because they begin to realize that they have no idea what they’ve asked for; I’ve seen a determined look in their eyes – they’ve decided to do this and punking out isn’t an option… but, yeah, they realize that what we’re about to do is considered to be gay and now they’re wanting to hold onto their masculinity at all costs.  Some of these… determined guys were rather adamant about what was to happen, like, they wanted a complete blowjob and without any reciprocation on their part; some guys had it in their mind that this was their chance to plunge their dick into someone’s ass and they’ve already decided that even though they’re were about to fuck me (back when I was into it, of course), they’d already “decided” that even though this was as gay as hell, their need to fuck was more important.

I’ve been with these desperate guys and some who were so tightly wound that some of them didn’t last any longer than it took for me to get them hard – and provided they weren’t as hard as granite to begin with and if they were, sometimes, I’d barely spend a minute exploring their dick with my mouth before I’d find my mouth full of sperm.  I’ve seen them be so uptight about it that getting them off was damn near impossible; sometimes the fear of the loss of their masculinity would greatly inhibit them or sometimes they managed to get themselves overstimulated before anything really got going so that when I’d start sucking their dick, well, all that did was add to their overstimulation and would inhibit their release.

I’d see guys get angry with themselves, adding more grief to their mental situation because not only had they become so desperate that they felt it necessary to resort to gay sex, when it was time for them to shove their dick into me, their erection would just go away… and faster than they got erect.  I’ve seen big, strong, macho guys start to cry in these moments and instead of being pissed with them because they couldn’t deliver, I’d find myself consoling them, asking them to not get so bent out of shape because this happens to us and, sometimes, for no reason we can make sense of.  I’d talk them into being calm but, inwardly, I’d be feeling some kind of way because I’m probably telling them something that women have been telling men when the guy’s noodle goes limp when it’s most needed.

I’ve seen guys “brave” enough to let me suck them change their mind and decide to reciprocate even after saying that, nope, no fucking way they were gonna do that.  Hell, I’ve had some of these desperate men start blowing me out of the clear blue sky – read this as my agreeing to blow them and telling them that, no,  they ain’t gotta return the favor – and we’ve both been surprised when his lips come in contact with my own erection.  I’ve been surprised by some of these guys saying to me, at some point in the opening salvo, that I should stop what I’m doing and fuck them instead even though there were pretty adamant about not letting my dick anywhere near their virgin ass holes – but then these macho dudes would be kinda not-so-macho as they either asked me not to stick it in too far or are demanding that I get all of it in and fuck them good and hard.

I knew their desperation for sex drove them to me (and other men like me) but in those moments, wow, I’d almost always be amazed at their behavior once things got going, like, how they could be so rough and tough and even fearsome… but when things get going, they’re reduced to a “quivering mass of flesh” and with most of their inhibitions removed along the way… and I’d think that this had to be a fucked up situation for them to, as one guy said to me, have his “inner bitch released” and that ‘understanding’ that perhaps they weren’t as manly or macho as they led themselves to believe.

The late, great Richard Pryor said, “A lack of pussy will make a motherfucker crazy…” and when I’d run into these desperate men, I’d see first-hand just how true that statement was as I sucked them off, felt their sperm being pumped into my ass or to have them pleasuring me orally and taking my boner in their virgin back door… and all because they couldn’t get the pussy they wanted.  Now, not all of the desperate guys were “first-timers” – some of them had admitted that they had, uh, prior experience but would play it off as experimentation and, being all macho, would insist that whatever they did was different from what we were about to do.  It’s a lie, of course, because there’s no difference from, say, sucking dick when you were younger and sucking dick as an adult.  Some guys, well, I guess desperation was a best friend to them because they’d admit that getting with me wasn’t the first time they had to seek out a man for some sexual pleasure.

I was thinking about those guys who women just found physically unappealing, like guys who were greatly overweight, for instance.  They’d be good and decent men, willing to do anything for a woman who’d consent to be his woman but at every turn, would be summarily rejected, ridiculed, and publicly humiliated.  I’ve been with these guys and learned that in their minds, if women found them so greatly unfuckable, there were men who’d not be so superficial.  A lot of these guys were what’s called a bottom, assuming the female role in sex, giving amazing blow jobs and being equally willing to take a hard dick in the ass.  These guys weren’t gay by a long shot – they never gave up their love and desire for women – but most admitted that they might as well be gay since they spent more time having sex with men than women.  I have to admit that you’ve not seen anything until you see a 290-pound man riding a dick and with the grace, energy, and fluidity of a 90-pound woman and, yeah, without his great weight being an issue being on top.

I’ve always found it… interesting to have a muscle-bound brute of a guy moaning and writhing in pleasure as I pumped my dick into his ass or seeing his harsh and sometimes frightening appearance become soft and unassuming as he sucked my dick and I always thought about what was going on in his head, what made him so desperate that he decided that his only recourse was to be with me.  I’ve had my share of guys known to be exceptional cocksmen and packing enough meat to make the most discerning size queen deliriously happy and all because he wasn’t able to direct his lust and passion in the “right” direction.  Now, I knew and learned that there were some times when it wasn’t the woman’s fault that he got cut off from the pussy – he was pretty much totally to blame for her making the decision not to fuck him anymore because, well, some guys are just assholes like that.  And, yeah, sometimes I’d find out for myself that they were assholes of the highest order, telling me that, hey, it’s no wonder girlfriend kicked you to the curb because you just fucking don’t know how to behave in a sexual situation and, by the way, if you don’t clean up your act in the next few seconds, we’re going to get physical with each other and not in a pleasant way.

Rougedmount said, in her comment to yesterday’s blog, “…i honestly think that for men, bi-sexuality is a much more simple and natural state of normal…” and perhaps she’s right even though there are probably a lot of men who wouldn’t readily agree with her statement.  Desperate guys don’t always turn to other men for pleasure and it could be quite possible that they will go out of their way to avoid having to step over to the bi side of things.  Maybe they’re equally desperate to hang on to their perception of masculinity and/or have convinced themselves that there’s nothing another man can do for them… and I’ve heard guys say this and have had the honor to prove them wrong on that one.  I would guess that a desperate guy would see having sex with another man as being low on his list of “options” and short of doing something really despicable like going out and raping a woman or otherwise forcing/coercing her to have sex and, yeah, I’ve had guys tell me that they’d rather get busy with a guy before doing some shit like that.

And it’s still not an easy decision for them to make; it boils down to either doing it with a guy or not having any sex at all.  Sometimes, their pride stands tall and demands that they not “stoop” to going this route, that their masculinity (and even their reputation) is more important than taking this “easy” path to sexual release.  I’ve seen their beliefs hold reign over their need to have sex and while they decided to not take this “easy” way out, I’ve also seen them fall deeper into the pit of despair because their “hard-headedness” won’t allow them to do what needs to be done; they’d rather let this sense of self-respect make a bad situation even worse until they’re able to get some pussy.  Nah, I’m not saying that any man who finds himself in this situation should just turn to having sex with men – I just know for a fact that they do and, again, it’s always been interesting to see how their desperate need for sex can totally override their pride, their ego, and even their sense of what it means to be a man.

I’ve had them grudgingly admit that having me suck them off wasn’t really as bad as they thought, just as I’ve had them admit that busting a nut in my ass wasn’t really all that bad either.  I’ve had them admit – and sometimes with great surprise – that sucking dick wasn’t bad either and that feeling my cock in their butt was, um, actually kinda nice.  I’ve had guys who have given into their desperation and had sex with me regret having done it, not because something wasn’t done right or anything like that but because their need to get off “forced” them into this unmanly situation and, yes, I’ve seen them regret it because, in truth, they liked every moment of it but now can’t see to admit to themselves (or me) that they liked it… and then gloss over the fact in their mind that if this situation should come up again, yeah, they’d seek out someone like me and without giving it a second thought.

And while I’d feel sorry for these men, eh, I wouldn’t feel that sorry for them because I’d get some dick and sometimes I’d find myself silently thanking the woman who dissed him for sex as I worked to get him to cum in my mouth or feeling his hardness in my ass as he busted a nut in me:  Their loss, my gain and all that.  I know that since I’ve pretty much always been bisexual, I’ve never seen turning to a man for sex when I’ve been cut off from the pussy as an act of desperation on my part so while I know how fucked up it feels to be in that situation, I admit to having to learn what goes on in a guy’s mind that will, ultimately, make him decide that getting with another dude is his best option – until, of course, he can get back to getting some pussy… and none of it is what I’d call pretty.  Some men can be celibate, either by his own choice or having it forced onto him because pussy is worth waiting for… but there are so many of us who, again, don’t do well under these conditions and doing nothing about his need for sex just really isn’t an option and, yes, when we exercise some of the options available to us, it doesn’t make our reputation as men any better – there’s a reason why it’s said that all men are dogs and “stooping” to having sex with men doesn’t make our rep any better in the eyes of some.

Roguedmount also said that even in her desperation for cock, she wouldn’t opt for pussy as a temporary replacement – and we see here one of the differences between men and women; a woman would prefer to do nothing at all in her desperation… but some men have to do something.  Yes, some guy can do nothing at all and that includes not masturbating and I don’t knock these guys at all and can admire their strength; at the same time, I don’t knock a guy who wants to sleep with me because he can’t get any pussy – I don’t see him as being weak or anything like that because I know (and even if no one else does) the strength required to set aside their preference for pussy and get busy with another guy; I guess this is why in the here and now, two dudes getting together for sex is seen as being very manly and some guys have the mindset that if you’re not down for some dick, well, that makes you more of a punk-assed bitch than the guy who is ready, willing, and able to throw down with another guy.

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Posted by on 28 March 2015 in Today's Bisexual Thoughts


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