…it probably looked like I went right off the deep end with my, ah, little note to bisexuality haters and those folks suffering from biphobia. It wasn’t really a rant nor was I particularly angry but, man, it felt good to write that! I’ve been bisexual for a long time now and I’ve pretty much heard all of the usual shit people might say about being gay or, once a rarity, being bisexual. Even back then, it galled me to listen to a dude talk about how much he’d love to fuck a woman in the ass or get her to suck all the juice out of his balls… but if it were suggested to him that there are guys who’d maybe be more willing to provide this service, they’d get all ill, get all puffed up and be otherwise offended.
After a while, you kinda get tired of listening to women whining and crying and, yeah, dissing you because you happen to have something very much in common with her, i.e., you like sucking dick and getting fucked. You get tired of people yakking about how things are supposed to be or talking shit about bisexuality (and homosexuality) being against “the natural order” when it’s apparent that when it comes to the natural order, they’re totally clueless – they obviously weren’t paying attention in science class.
After a while, you get tired of rolling your eyes at the inane comments being made, like, bisexuals don’t exist; you really get tired of people dissing something that (a) has always been around and (b) they don’t know one damned thing about other than the dumb shit being spewed by other biphobics. It begins to dawn on you that if there’s some truth that bisexuals – and bi women in particular – are more prone to mental illnesses than their straight peers, well, it’s no fucking wonder this might be true! Girlfriend’s mental stability isn’t all fucked up because she’s bisexual – it’s fucked up because she has to deal with a lot of derisive rejection because she’s not the sexual woman everyone else says she’s supposed to be.
And, at some point, someone has to say, “Okay, fuckers, enough is enough… now let me tell you something…” and, um, that’s kinda what I did yesterday when I banged out (see what I did?) “So What?” Sure, I’ll step off in their asses about it and point out the hypocrisy of what they’re saying versus what some of them might really be doing as they point out everything that’s bad about not being straight, from being a sinner to being a major disease vector and a lot of other shit in between and when, in fact, some of these folks are guilty of doing shit that more immoral than a guy sucking dick or a girl eating pussy; this is one of those things where “Do as I say, not as I do!” just fucking doesn’t work. I wonder if those folks know that the louder they yell that bisexuals don’t exist the more their narrow-mindedness and ignorance of things shows? If they don’t, maybe what I wrote yesterday can shed some light onto the fact that they’re not as evolved or as civilized as they believe themselves to be. I like to say that if you cannot or do not change, you will be left behind and for the people who [rabidly] believes in being heterosexual above and beyond anything else, perhaps they’re miffed because (a) they are becoming the moral minority and (b) because they cannot adapt or change, they are being left behind.
No, that doesn’t mean they should all jump up and become bisexuals – it means they need to get their heads out of their collective asses and get to smelling some coffee so that they can stop being in denial about bisexuals not existing… because we do: Always have, always will and there’s nothing anyone can do about it. I figure that when someone gets to the point where their morals are more important than the rights of another to be the person they want and need to be in this, well, something’s wrong and more so since I’m fairly sure that those preaching moral correctness are also living in glass houses, as I mentioned yesterday. From time to time, it becomes necessary to let these folks know just how full of shit they are and while they are right about some things, they are not – and never have been – 100% right about everything.
And, damned right, I’m the bisexual motherfucker who has the temerity to point out that while they’re ranting and raving against bisexuals and bisexuality, it’s entirely possible that some of their friends and family members could very well be bisexual. I’m the guy who’d ask someone why they think they could never suck cock or, if female, eat pussy – then sit back and watch them flounder about when they answer and knowing that whatever they’re gonna say can easily be reduced to two things: “It’s not right” and “It doesn’t turn me on” and then I’ll do what I did yesterday and ask them if they know why – and most of the biphobic folks actually don’t know why.
After a while, these folks have to be told that while sex and relationships are the soup du jour of our moral behavior, you don’t need one in order to have the other and, no, this isn’t about being monogamous – yet; I’ll get there shortly. Nope, as a bisexual, I do not need to have a relationship with another man in order to prove to anyone that I’m bisexual and I’m not really sure why some folks believe this is validation of one’s sexuality. So, um, what… if “Glenda” isn’t in a relationship with a man but loves guys packing her stuff, does this mean she’s not straight? And if this sounds patently ridiculous – and it should – then so does the notion that a bisexual ain’t a bisexual until they’re in a same-sex relationship.
After a while, you take in all of this trash and, if you’re like me, dissect it to see if there is anything of value in it, find that there’s not much there, and say, “I’m bisexual – so what?” and then tell the biphobics that if they don’t like it – and they don’t have to – well, all they can do is not like it and then bitch and moan until they turn blue in the face because, otherwise, there’s nothing they can do about it other than spout their ridiculous and hateful rhetoric. I gotta tell you that I have no problems watching these folks stick their feet into their mouths and make themselves look stupid; when I tell someone that I’m bisexual and they start insisting that I can’t be, well, okay, educate me: How do you know that I’m not something I’ve always known myself to be (and have proven it to myself in almost every way I can imagine)? If they say I can’t be, well, fuck, tell me why I can’t be! If they begin to question my ability to make decisions when it comes to sexuality, well, how exactly do you know that I can’t make up my mind? Did it ever occur to you that if I’ve decided I’m bisexual, I’ve already made up my mind? But I get it – the problem here is that I decided I didn’t want to be just straight or just gay and that’s unacceptable.
After a while, you get a little weary being told that if you’re bisexual, you’re a greedy, disloyal motherfucker and those folks who would presume this probably aren’t aware of the fact that there a lot of monogamous bisexuals who are faithful to a fault. As to the charge of being greedy, well, now, I don’t know about y’all but I’m all for all the sex I can get… but the thing that fucks with a lot of biphobics is that a bisexual isn’t going to settle with being monosexual – that kinda defeats the purpose of being bisexual. Does anyone remember the scene in “Robocop” (the original one) where homey said, “Good business is where you find it!”? Well, bisexuals say, “Good sex is where you find it!” and, uh, some of us don’t have a problem stepping into gay territory for some good sex. I’m not sure why some folks think that a bisexual’s pursuit of sexual pleasure is worst than those folks who (a) can’t or won’t settle down and (b) spend more time bed-hopping than anything else. Why this isn’t seen as being greedy when a straight or gay person does it just goes over my head.
And, after a while, you just get really tired of people insisting that their way is the only way… and it is pretty fucking obvious that it isn’t. It makes me wonder if those “special” folks realize that the more they speak out against the existence of bisexuals and bisexuality, the more they’re validating our existence because, would it be kinda insane to be arguing against something that doesn’t exist and more so when, to date, you’ve majestically failed to prove that bisexuals (and bisexuality) doesn’t exist; all you can do is keep trying to downplay it.
It wasn’t a rant and, by the way, neither was this; I wasn’t angry then or now… but I am the bisexual guy who will point out that insisting that bisexuality isn’t real is a fool’s errand and one, who like so many other bisexuals, is tired of hearing it so, please, if you don’t know what you’re talking about, stop talking and save face already. We get that our being in the middle upsets your perceptions but, ah, if you don’t have to apologize or justify being the way you are, why should we have to apologize and justify the way we are? If you can see that this doesn’t make sense to behave in this manner, that’s probably the only right thing you’ve said about it…
Because it doesn’t make sense to do this. We are here and we’re not going anywhere – ever.