Today’s Bisexual Thoughts: “A Penny for Your Thoughts…”

24 Apr

I was basking in the glow of having just sucked a guy off and was in the middle of stretching out so he could suck me off when he asked, “What were you thinking while you were sucking me?”

I gave him a strange look for a moment and said, “I wasn’t thinking about anything that I know of – why do you ask?”

“Oh, I dunno,” he said as get settled between my legs.  “I had the impression that you were thinking about something, that’s all.”

As he went to work on my cock, I put it out of my mind for the time being and my only thoughts were on how badly I needed to get off.

After we were done with each other (which took quite a while) and parted way, my mind went back to the question he had asked me and I “rewound” things back to the beginning to see if I was, in fact, thinking about anything while I was blowing him… and I was surprised to find that his question was valid… because I had been thinking the whole time – I just wasn’t aware that I had been.

Men have this very bad rap – and one of many – that says we either approach sex (of any kind) mindlessly or we overthink shit… but, apparently, I wasn’t as mindless as reputed nor was I overly thinking the situation;  I mean, I’m sucking a guy’s dick, something I’ve done more times than I wanna admit to, so what’s to think about?  Apparently, there is something to think about after all.  Watching the “replay,” I saw that a lot of what I was thinking about was in the abstract, like, this was gonna be good, he had a nice dick, that I liked his musky scent, his precum tasted rather good and that I couldn’t wait to taste his cum… but, yeah, other than that, I wasn’t thinking about anything – well, not really.

I knew, without looking in a mirror, that I had a surprised look on my face to realize what was really going on in my head.  Now, I never have a “plan,” like, I’m gonna do this or that or anything I’d call specific other than I’m going to suck his dick until he cums but until the guy got me thinking about this, I kinda thought that I was on autopilot the whole time… but I saw that there’s a lot of shit going on in my head on top of being focused on being in the moment; just off to the side, my brain is actively processing all the sensory input as well as decided on whether or not I wanna get him off as fast as possible (and especially if time is a factor) or take my own sweet time making him cum; I’m paying attention to and processing what I’m doing to him and how he’s reacting to it and then thinking about my reactions to his reactions.  I’m monitoring and thinking about my breathing, the position of my body and, since I had my neck fused, I’m thinking about any stresses on my neck, taking note of how fast or how deeply he might be fucking into my mouth – and if he’s even doing it at all.

I’m acutely aware of what’s going on with him, taking note in the change in his body temperature, the way he’s moving, breathing whatever and I’m even thinking about how I’m going to be able to tell when he’s about to cum, like paying attention to his dick to pickup the ebb and flow of his erection as well as picking up on those minute tremors that signal that he’s getting close.  I found that I’m actually thinking about whether or not I want to swallow,  spit it out, or whether or not my lust (or this part of it) will be sated by sucking him to the point of no return and getting him off manually so I can watch him cum.  I’m even taking note of whether or not he’s becoming oversensitized/overstimulated and what steps to take if he is… or how to best prevent that because it’s in my mind that if he gets overstimulated, he’ll either lose his erection or he won’t cum any time soon – and then I’m thinking about what I’ll do if this does happen.

The look of surprise on my face really blossomed; anyone looking at me at that moment might start wondering if I were sane or not!  Here I was, blissfully thinking that I wasn’t thinking about anything… only to learn that I’ve been thinking all along… and that I always have been thinking even when making love to a woman.  Well, I’ll be damned!  So you know I “fast-forwarded” to when he was sucking me to see what, if anything, I was thinking about… when I thought I wasn’t thinking about anything…and, yep, I was thinking; I not only wasn’t thinking about all the shit he was doing to me and how good it all felt but I was still thinking about all the things that were connected with me sucking him off, well, right up to my last conscious thought of, “Oh, shit, I’m gonna cum!”

Then a bit of oblivion… followed by that moment of clarity which, I guess, is the “circuit breakers” being reset after the sensory overload of orgasm tripped them – my consciousness is waking back up and remembering how to do things like breathe and other important shit.

Maybe we’re not so “mindless” as it’s believed?  When we say we’re not thinking about anything when we’re having sex, you probably are thinking… but not really aware that you are.  Does this have any real significance?  Well, yeah, even if it only pertains to you paying attention to yourself.  It’s not something to be worried about or anything like that – it’s more of a self-awareness kind of thing but one that, at least when I write it down so I can see it, is some pretty weird shit… but interesting at the same time (at least I think it is).

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Posted by on 24 April 2015 in Today's Bisexual Thoughts


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