…this is the part of the program where I once again tell ya that I just love being bisexual! I shamelessly admit that I also love sex, from beating my own meat to the joys of sex with women and, uh-huh, with men… because it’s sex. That whole right and wrong thing? Yeah, know about that and not damned likely to forget it but, um, no… just having sex with a woman isn’t the only sexual pleasure that can be had. Not that just having sex with women is bad, mind you; ah, man, they are so much fun to have sex with, aren’t they? But that sucking dick thing? Oh, yeah, that works, too, even though, okay, had to do some trial and error shit to get to this state of mind today but, hmm, okay, I can’t honestly say that being fucked by a guy or fucking him was always a bad thing.
I get that we’re compelled to have hangups about sex; we’re supposed to feel ashamed that we do it, that we like doing it, and especially if we’re not doing it in the prescribed and mandated manner which, I don’t know about y’all, but there’s a lot of the, ah, unprescribed stuff that’s pretty damned exciting and all because we’ve been told not to do it. So… according to this way of thinking, I shouldn’t ever want to suck another man’s dick until he begs for mercy and cums in my mouth and I’m not supposed to like it anymore than I’m supposed to let another man do that to me and I’m the one calling on Jesus for some divine intervention that, in fact, I don’t want or need at that moment. One of the things that pretty much made sure that I wasn’t gonna live in that bad place was, in fact, a contradiction or two: If you’re not supposed to do it, how is it possible that it can be done? If it’s not supposed to feel good, why does it feel good?
Of course, it’s not as if I haven’t figured this out – I believe that I have and, well, sure, it makes sense to restrict sex to boy/girl only if we, as a species, don’t want to suffer an early extinction because we’re not reproducing… but reproduction ain’t the only reason to have sex, is it and, duh, sex has never been just boy/girl – and history proves this to be true; otherwise, um, why the restrictions? They exist because, somewhere back at the dawn of time, people were screwing like crazy and not always in a productive way – and the pun is intended. I rationalized that, way back then, two dudes got together and found out that doing some of the same things with each other that could be done with a woman felt pretty damned good – and the same with those first two women who blazed the trail of not being straight when they wanted to feel good or be made to feel good – and the rules be damned.
Well, now, this gross disobedience just couldn’t be allowed – hence the restrictions and even fatal punishments we all know about today… and despite them, we still go about getting our rocks off and partying like it’s 1999 when it comes to sex – well, some of us do. I remember the time when I was told, and in no uncertain terms – that when I died, I would stand in judgment for my sins and would be consigned to hell for all eternity… and I laughed in the man’s face and, yes, I meant to do it. I admitted that come that day, I’d have no choice but to plead guilty to a whole lot of shit so if I was gonna burn in hell for it, well, I’m going there for a good reason; I even “conceded” that I knew I was going to hell for lying down with a man and already had a reservation. Yeah, it was rude, irreverent, and maybe even sacrilegious; if I saw that man today, I’d probably apologize for responding in such a way – but I wouldn’t change the overall theme one bit: If I’m going to hell, I’m going and, to be honest, I’m more afraid of my eventual non-existence than I am about what might happen after the fact.
So I own it; I embrace the hedonistic joy in knowing that I can lie down with a woman and find much sexual bliss… and knowing that I could suck some dudes dick (and let him suck mine) and find even more sexual bliss. Oh… wait a minute… am I not supposed to bask in sex’s headiness? It seems to me that if – and according to how some believe – sex isn’t supposed to be enjoyable, uh, why is it enjoyable? Have you ever asked yourself why sex feels good? I have… but I’m not going to leap into a lecture on the effects of sex on human biochemistry or some other shit guarantee to put you to sleep. It feels good because it’s supposed to feel good so, yep, it stands to reason that if it feels good to have a woman sucking your dick, wouldn’t it feel good if a guy did it? Some say it shouldn’t and that it doesn’t… and I very much beg to differ with you on that one… because it does.
Someone wrote in blog this morning that they read where someone said that a person who has no shame is incapable of feeling other emotions, like love… and I’m not sure how the hell that works; I’m still thinking about that and I’ve yet to figure out how this supposedly works. I feel zero shame for being bisexual – as a for instance – but I can feel love and other positive emotions. I get that I should be ashamed of the fact that (a) I do very much love sex and (b) I’m not picky about whether it’s with a man or a woman… but I’m not… so what does the one thing have to do with the other, I wonder? Logically, it doesn’t make sense to me at the moment because I’m not done working it out in my head although I can see how shame can get someone to be more open to other more positive emotions but, no, right now, I’m not agreeing with that assessment and, as I asked in my last blog, where’s the sense in being ashamed or allowing yourself to be shamed?
I’m not going to be ashamed of the fact that I like pussy and dick nor am I ever going to apologize for it; in fact – and as y’all have learned – I’m gonna rejoice in my sexual duality because if nothing else, it frees me from a mindset that says I should only enjoy sex in certain ways and in certain situations – the truth, like it or not, is very different. I’m not saying that the rules shouldn’t exist or shouldn’t be abided by – I just know that some of them can be… tweaked, to be polite about it. Indeed, if I get with “Paul” and we fuck/suck each other, nope, we ain’t gonna make any babies… but we sure as hell are gonna have fun doing it just the same and if it wasn’t fun, it wasn’t because we weren’t supposed to be doing it at all.
I have no problem admitting that I like pussy and dick… and that I like it when I can have both at the same time. Why? Well, why not? Oh, yeah, that’s right – it’s immoral which, glaringly, has never changed the fact that there has been, there currently are, and there will be many other people who are just like me – let them at some pussy/dick and it’s party time. Even those folks like me who have never gotten down and dirty (and all sweaty) can still party in the privacy of their minds – that why we have an imagination if we’re inclined not to actually do the deeds. Ya don’t have to do it like this but, um, if you can…