Today’s Bisexual Thoughts: Cock Crazy

I got to thinking about this – bear with me while I try to type and organize my thoughts at the same time.  Okay, I know that I experienced it when I got started; I just couldn’t have enough dealings with dick to keep me happy!  When I was much older and thought about that, I could see that my, uh, penile insanity was quite due to the fact that doing the suck and fuck thing with guys was “nasty fun” that I wasn’t supposed to do.  I also began to see similar patterns of craziness in other guys and that it wasn’t always uniform – they weren’t equally insane about sucking or fucking but would go berserk if there was a dick to suck; likewise, if the opportunity came up to get their ass creamed, they were all over the  chance like a very bad habit.

I saw that a lot of this was just about being able to have sex when it came to my sex-crazed peers but if it was with a guy, well, falling all into oral sex was more preferred than anal sex; not that it didn’t happen, mind you, but I saw that if given a choice, a guy would be damned happy to suck dick and forego any anal sex… and I wondered why.  So much, much later, I learned about oral fixation, something that some folks have connected to when we were being nursed as babies and that we equated the sucking sensation with the pleasure/joy/whatever of being fed.  I learned that the mouth is an erogenous zone and right up there on the “hot spot” list so, okay, seeing the connections here made sense; having a guy’s dick in your mouth was a lot more than just nasty fun.

Getting even older, I began to see that not every guy I came across was crazy about sucking dick; they either wouldn’t do it, were reluctant to do it, or just did it in a token way because (a) it was expected or (b) as a prelude to anal sex… but there were still guys who would literally start drooling whenever the word “blowjob” was mentioned and would fall on your dick like they were starving.  I was better understanding myself in this; while I didn’t mind being fucked (or doing some fucking), being able to suck that guy’s dick was always a highlight.  When I eventually took anal sex off the menu, I did wonder whether or not giving up that aspect of sex with men would impact my desire to suck dick because, well, er, I pretty much associated one with the other even though I was learning that there were guys who didn’t have this association.  As it turned out, my craziness for sucking cock seemed to grow and, yeah, I’ll say it – because now I didn’t have to give any thought to being fucked and could totally focus on this most delicious pleasure.

It wasn’t that difficult for me to understand my cock craziness or when I saw it in other men; the guys that perplexed me were the ones who’d do the deed with you… but there was something missing in them.  Yeah, I was learning about those guys who (today) are tops, those dudes that, more often than not, won’t suck dick or consent to be fucked because that’s what you’re for.  Then there were the bottom guys, the ones willing to do whatever you wanted them to do but some having that very strange thing of not wanting to be sucked; some felt that blowing them would take them out of the game early and I ran into quite a few who just did not like being sucked and, hell, no, don’t ask them to fuck you!  Even with the guys who are versatile – top and bottom doesn’t mean anything to them – there was still something missing, like they were just going through the motions but not really loving what went on when we were eating each other’s cock.

It actually had me wondering if this intense love of sucking dick was unique to me; I also wondered if I were making the mistake in “assuming” that since I loved sucking dick so much, other guys should be loving it… but, no, it wasn’t that because I had also learned exactly why women ain’t exactly and always that hyped up to suck cock – because some dude will come along and steal whatever joy the did have for doing it.  Still, I did eventually “discover” that as a man, I wasn’t really all that alone in the craziness to suck dick; there were a whole lot of guys who discovered that same, intensely pleasurable thing and especially guys going for it for the first time; they’d go from not being sure they could suck dick one moment and find themselves totally hooked on it once they started doing it… and, yeah, there were a few times when I’d run across a guy who was crazier than I was about sucking dick – they’d make me look as if I didn’t like doing it at all!

Today, I’m still not sure what makes one guy crazy about this and what, if anything, keeps the insanity away from other men.  Is some difference in how oral fixation works for some guys but not so much in others?  Is the way they look at sex a contributing factor?  I’ve even wondered if guys who suck dick have the same degree of craziness when eating pussy – provided they do eat pussy, that is; I’ve met a couple of guys who wouldn’t eat pussy even if you stuck a gun to their head – but they’ll try to eat your dick right off your body if they could.  Now, ya might think that because I really do spend a lot of time thinking about this, I’m overthinking things and I should be happy to have my dick sucked or that there are men who don’t object to being sucked.  But I don’t think so because being bisexual is still very much about what’s going on in your head and if you can’t understand the way you’re bisexual, then understanding how other guys are might not be so easy to do.

On the one hand, we’re all the “same” – but not really and it’s being able to understand the differences and more than just seeing them or, really, that which isn’t as obvious as one might think.  I know that from the moment we have our first experience, we start to develop preferences in this and I’d consider this as being normal… but what makes one guy crazy to suck dick  but makes the next guy not so crazy about it?  Y’all should know me by now; it’s not enough to know that guys will do this and to whatever degree they will – I gotta know what drives us in this because if I can get my head around how other men are crazy or not so much crazy, it lends itself to me understanding why I am totally nuts about sucking dick.  Is it really an aspect of oral fixation… or is it something else?

I’m still learning and I may never figure it out… and that’s fine if I never do.  If and when someone asks me why guys will suck another man’s dick, I can say something about it and something that, at least to me, makes sense – and more than “I don’t know” or “That’s just the way it is.”  There are a lot of people who don’t understand bi guys – and there are a lot of bi guys who don’t understand themselves when it comes to this, which is why I try to share things like this because when it comes to understanding our sexuality, there is no such animal as too much information…