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Today’s Bisexual Thoughts: Are Guys Really Easier to Bed?

01 Jun

Another good question and the answer is – and my apologies to any women reading this – but comparatively speaking, men are easier to get into bed than women are… generally.  In my many experiences, I’ve learned that when guys want to do each other, not only are the interested in NSA (no strings attached) sex, they put fewer conditions in place; they just wanna do it and the sooner (and easier) you can make this happen, the happier they are… most of the time, I’d say.

I think that the “other people” who look at the way bi guys have sex don’t take into consideration that we have preferences; there are things that we will do with each other and things we won’t do; we like certain types of guys and don’t like other types, from personalities right down to the size of their dick.  In the past, I’ve written about the three “categories” of guys who’ll have sex with guys:  Tops, bottoms, and versatiles and I’ve found that guys “settle into” one of these categories and their mindset about this can either make it easy to have mind-blowing sex… or make it damn near impossible.

I know some men who, because of their mindset and preferences, make women look stupidly easy to bed by comparison; I’ve learned that to some degree or another, we – and I mean pretty much everyone – have that “I want what I want the way I want it” mindset about sex and whether or not this is a good or bad thing depends on where a person’s  head is about it… but, for the most part,  I find this way of thinking to be “bad” and that we – bi guys – don’t seem to give a whole lot of thought about the things we can do as opposed to that which we want to do.

Like, for instance, most tops I know don’t suck dick and expect to fuck you without reciprocation on their part… and, okay, that’s their preference and they have the right to have these preferences.  I’ve always wondered what would happen if you got two tops in the bed together but given what I know about tops, eh, chances are good they’d never wind up agreeing to have sex with each other to begin with.  Likewise, most bottoms I know don’t like to have their dick sucked and aren’t fond of doing any fucking and, yep, I’ve wondered what would happen if two bottoms wound up in bed together but, again, given what I’ve learned about these guys, um, no – they’d never wind up in this situation to begin with.  I also think that the only way either kind of guy would wind up in bed with each other is if they didn’t know that they were both tops or both were bottoms until a moment of truth came to light.

Versatile guys seem to be the easiest; they’re both tops or bottoms and, at least on the surface, don’t care about being “stuck” in either of those sexual roles as long as they get to have sex… but even these guys can make things difficult because of their specific preferences and I’ve noticed that a lot of these guys say “top or bottom” and not “top and bottom” – and there’s a big distinction here.  So when the haters start going on and on about how promiscuous bisexuals are and how bisexual men just go rampaging all over the place and fucking anything that’s moving (and is human), um, they’re not 100% accurate in this because we can be very picky in this – and I know this to be true because I’m picky as well – and I don’t think there’s a bi guy anywhere who isn’t picky to some degree or another.

Just like sex with women, sex with men is conditional and if the conditions aren’t met, then no sex happens.  That women have “more”conditions than men do is something I’ve pretty much always been aware of… but men still have them and can be seen as being kinda different in some things, not so much in others, so on the surface, yeah, men are easier to get into bed with each other… but not really and not always.  Just because “Tom” wants to have sex with “Dave” doesn’t always mean it’s gonna automatically happen… but maybe there’s a lot of people who think that it  does or that it should?  Just like everyone else on the planet who has had sex, we learn some shit and tend to stick with the things we like and persistently avoid the things we don’t like; we just tend to assume that if something was bad with one person, it’s always gonna be bad with anyone else and, yep, men can be like this just as much as women can be.  I understand it… kinda… but that people rarely ever change their minds about these things, nah, getting a guy into bed with another guy might not be as easy as one might think.

And, nope, it doesn’t matter whether the guy is bisexual or gay, although I have to say that sexually interacting with gay men just makes the whole dynamic interesting, to put it mildly.  It’s believed that all gay men suck cock and take in the ass… and that’s not accurate because even gay men fall into the “top, bottom, versatile” dynamic and, yes, they have their own personal preferences.  One of the things I’ve learned – and, yes, I know I could be wrong about this – is that we think we develop preferences so we can have sex the way we want it but, at the same time, those same preferences don’t always make it easier to have sex; again, it’s conditional – if, then, else, and, or – and I thank my training in computer programming for helping me to better understand these things even though I also understand that logic, all by itself, isn’t sufficient enough to make two guys have sex easier – there’s some really complicated emotional shit going on other than merely lust.

There are some guys who’ll say, “Look, if all you do is suck me off, I’ll be happy, aight?”  Conditional (and the word “if” says it is) but easier; if they can bust a nut, they’re not gonna be all that picky about how they do it.  I even saw how conditional I can be about this:  If you’d be happy with just a blow job, then we can do this (but then the conditions get nested – conditions within conditions); if you wanna suck me off, then good; but if you don’t, then that’s okay – I can get myself off manually or you can do that if you want to.  Sounds easy… but it really isn’t – and I think I’m easy to get into bed despite having my own things I’m not gonna do… but I also know that you should never say never.  Like, I swore off anal sex with men, not because it was bad but because it stopped being fun; yet, since that time, I’ve had anal sex with a few “special” guys – it’s still conditional, though and, yes, the conditions are very rigid and exacting (no pun intended) so on the one hand, I’ll tell a guy “no anal sex either way” but if the conditions are exactly right, yep, I just might change my mind about it… or maybe I won’t because such a decision isn’t just logically made – it also depends on how I feel at the moment as well.

The trick to this being “easy” isn’t just about preferences; it’s also about minimal conditions.  Am I easy for a guy to bed?  Yes… but not as easy as that sounds because if you want more than I’m willing to give, then it’s not gonna happen and, yeah, being a guy (and the type of person I am), trying to literally sneak something in wouldn’t be a smart or healthy thing to do.  Then again, that doesn’t really make me any different from – I’ll say – the majority of people, does it?

The people who believe that bi guys just indiscriminately fuck don’t seem to understand what’s really going on here.  Yes, I get that they see the fact that we’ll bed a woman and/or a man and, seemingly, not give it much thought and, yeah, I think that those folks are just pissed because we can do something they cannot bring themselves to do given that they’re monosexual (and even homosexuals are monosexual… mostly).  In this context, no – we don’t discriminate because men are just as much fair game as women are… but it’s really not that simple or as easy as it might seem.  It’s believed that men who have sex with men do so because they don’t have any hangups… and that’s not entirely true either and, again, it’s one of those sticky situations (no pun) where they don’t have hangups… but they do have them and in the form of their preferences and whatever conditions are in place.

And, of course, the thing that doesn’t make men easier to bed is that, um, you gotta find another guy who’d want to go to bed with you and even that isn’t as easy as it might appear to be because, uh, how can you tell a bi guy from a straight guy… or even a lot of gay guys?  Okay… identifying an effeminate man might be easy to do… but that doesn’t mean he’d be an easy mark to get into bed because he’ll have his own set of preferences and conditions.

Men are easier to bed… but not really, not when you care to get right down into the guts of it all.  Yep, some of us tend to easily “settle” than women would; at the least, some ball-draining oral sex can fit the bill even if we’re of a mind to fuck or be fucked – depending, of course, on the other guy’s preferences and conditions – and, at the most, if we can fuck/be fucked – and if we’re into this – then so much the better.  We know that most women require foreplay to stoke their fires – and it’s not that men don’t need it… it’s just something that when it’s guy on guy, eh, we don’t need to go through all of that because if our dick is hard, we’re ready for whatever.  It sounds easier (and sometimes, it really is) but not always as easy as it sounds.  Some men do need foreplay just like women do, just like some men don’t consider oral sex to be a form of sex all by itself.  Preferences, conditions, and even expectations can make men taking other men to be a lot harder (again, no pun) than it’s believed to be.

This is just my $1.47 worth on the subject…

 
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Posted by on 1 June 2015 in Today's Bisexual Thoughts

 

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