RSS

Group Sex Thoughts

05 Jun

This is probably the one thing that’ll take someone who’s secure with sex and turn them into a prude quick, fast, and in a hurry.  It’s something that can make folks with privacy/modesty issues want to soil their underwear to be naked in front of a bunch of people, let alone engage in sex while an audience is watching and cheering them on to orgasm.  It’s the one thing that, for people who’d swear to how much they love sex, make them change their mind about that statement when, ah, performance issues show up to tell the truth.

It is some really scary shit and, sometimes, even for experienced folks in this because as much as people try to make group sex a controlled situation, you just never know what’ll happen because, well, pussy makes motherfuckers crazy (for men) and women can totally freak out to see more than one hard dick waiting to get a piece of her.   There are a bunch of perceptions about this, like, if you’re there, then you’re there for sex and in whatever form it shows up in; the truth is that even people who are open-minded about this and open in their approach to sex can go out of their way to not let sex happen if it’s gonna encroach on their sensibilities.

Yes… a safe environment is called for, although not all group sex is planned – sometimes, the shit just breaks out all by itself.  You expect everyone in attendance to be on their very best behavior and I’ve always thought, “Are you kidding me?” because I’ve seen some very well-behaved people go totally ape-shit when sex is on the table.  “No means no” isn’t just for group sex – it’s all-encompassing where sex is concerned because one should never be made to do something they don’t want to do… yet, they’ve just walked into a sexual situation where anything can happen.

Inhibitions can get thrown away at the door… but some of them can come slamming into place as well.  Sensibilities can be challenged, like, if seeing some bisexual shit happening before your eyes makes you want to wet yourself, well, why are you there… and what exactly did you think was gonna be going on?  Some folks will hang on to their modesty for as long as they can and then wind up having to endure people wondering or asking why they’re still dressed when everyone is as naked as the day they were born.  If you’re someone who has body image issues – with your own body or the bodies of other people, well, what the fuck – did you really believe that everyone’s going to be in the best physical shape?  If you have age issues, again, what the fuck – do you think it’s only young people who like to fuck and indulge in all manner of sex?  I guess so since people involve themselves in these things with their preferences firmly in place and rely on attraction to drive their need to have sex… and then get miffed when there’s no one there who qualifies to have sex with them.

If you have fears, hangups, inhibitions, and other things along this line, why in the name of all that’s holy would you willingly show up in an environment that is going to take everything you believe about sex and stress the shit out of it?   Sure… it sounds like a great idea… until you get there and the reality of a group sexual situation slaps you upside the head.  I have seen for myself the folks who, before the fact, are talking tons of shit about how they can handle a group sex situation, only to watch them cower in the corner with their clothes still on because whatever they thought was gonna happen wasn’t even close to what’s really happening.  I’ve seen women who claim they love sex and are willing to take on anyone wind up being in tears because more dick than they could have imagined is being presented to them.

Group sex can turn you into a prudish, punk-assed bitch quicker than you can say your name… even if it happens to be in a setting with people you know.  Sex invokes vulnerability; it can expose one’s limitations and do such a bad number on one’s ego that it literally isn’t funny.  Like I said, in a group sex situation, one’s sensibilities can be taken to task just by watching what’s going on around them and if this doesn’t make you rethink everything you thought you knew about sex, I don’t know what will… and I’ve learned that just finding out that you didn’t know shit about sex like you thought you did will make someone head for the hills faster than “Speedy Gonzales.”

I’ve seen people throw up; I’ve seen them barely make it to a bathroom before they shit or piss involuntarily; I’ve seen “strong” people break down and cry because they just couldn’t handle what was going on; I’ve seen people literally be so stunned that they kinda leave, their minds retreating and going into self-protect mode and they’re just sitting there staring at things no one else can see.  I’ve seen men freak out just because some other guy accidentally came in contact with them; I’ve seen women freak out to open their eyes to see who’s eating their pussy or sucking on their nipples and find another woman doing it and, yep, seen men freak out when they see a guy deep-throating the shit out of them.

And all of this makes me wonder, “Just what did you think was gonna happen?”  It’s my own personal thought that if you don’t have a very high ceiling (or you have a huge list of what you ain’t gonna do) to your limits, ya might not want to walk into a group sex situation.  I learned to walk into these situations – planned or otherwise – and expect anything to happen… or to expect nothing to happen.  I’ll walk in with my safety in mind – I’m not gonna let anyone do anything to me that I don’t want done (and I have the muscle and very nasty temper to back that up if I have to) but, I know that being in this situation is going to test my resolve as much as what I know about sex and I believe that if I have any doubts about my ability to be up for whatever happens, I’m not going to be there… but, um, I love a challenge; I actually like having my sensibilities challenged and my ability to interact with so many people tasked to the maxed.

Linda likes to jerk my chain at times because I have practically zero inhibitions and definitely no modesty whatsoever… and that’s probably due in part to the many sexual situations I’ve been in to date and, yeah, probably some ego as well because who wants to be known as the person who said they could hang… and then they didn’t even get naked with everyone else?  Not me… never me but, yeah, if it’s something I ain’t down with, I will politely beg off.  I’m not without a couple of hangups, like, ya might not want to bust a nut in my face or try to shove two dicks in my ass at the same time; ya might not want to try to hold me down or otherwise restrain me because my reaction will be immediate and violent… then again, I will make it known what I won’t put up with and that list is short… but it does exist.  Otherwise, if I’m walking into a situation where anything can happen, well, let’s see what might happen.

Men have this… tendency to worsen our reputations by not approaching women with respect and asking her permission to engage with them and if you’re a guy in this situation and you don’t understand that a woman will just freak out on you if you try to take her without her permission, then you need to stay away from group sex situations.  It’s a given that we don’t handle rejection well at all and I’ve seen guys react very badly when a woman tells them no for any reason.  We’re expected to be on our very best behavior in a group sex situation… but if you believe that this is always the way we should behave, well, you don’t know shit about men and how sex affects us – you really don’t.

Women… well, we just know how funny women can be about sex, don’t we?  Still, ladies, I gotta say – and without one bit of offense – that if you don’t have your head in the right place about group sex, please, stay home – and by “the right place” I mean being fully aware that you could be subjected to shit that’s way outside your comfort zone so if you have a small comfort zone, don’t even show up – it’s for your own good, trust me.  Hell, if you’re not there because you really want to be there, it’s okay for you to tell the person begging you to go with them that you don’t want to go; one of the things that really pisses me off is seeing women in a group sex situation and looking lost and/or afraid because they really didn’t want to attend and only did so because their man insisted on it.  And, yes, I’ve seen men in this same situation and it’s just not a pretty thing to see happen to anyone.

Group sex can be emotionally and physically “dangerous” for some folks and enough that just thinking about it will scare the shit out of them and make them not want to ever experience it… yet, there are people who are very much aware of the “dangers” and will show up anyway – some people actually get a thrill out of facing their sexual (and even sexuality) fears, well, right up to the point where they just freak the fuck out and haul ass from things as fast as humanly possible so, again, it makes me ask:  “If you can’t handle it, why are you there?”  Maybe some folks are just gluttons for punishment – I really don’t know but if I’ve learned anything from being in group sex situations, I’ve learned that showing up and acting like this is gonna be like one-on-one sex is a mistake and that if I don’t have a sense of adventure, that’ll just compound the first mistake.  If I walk in there and I’m more worried about what might happen to me, I’ve already taken myself out of the game before I take my shoes off because instead of “focusing” on the sex, I’m too focused on literally protecting my ass at all times so, yeah, if this is the mindset I’m bringing in the door, maybe I should have just stayed home.  Now, check this out… because I think it’s important.

Guys, if you and your lady get into a group sex situation, you’d better not just throw her to the wolves and make her fend for herself.  You’re not only there to enjoy all the sex you can, you have a duty – and obligation – to protect and defend her honor, even in this setting, so if you go off and think, “She can handle herself…” you, sir, are a total asshole; when she shreds your ass because you weren’t watching her back or, worse, she freaks out worse than a 1960’s hippy on a bad acid trip and now you gotta try to pick up the pieces, well, you truly deserve it.  Okay, yeah, I know – keeping an eye on her is going to take your focus away from having sex with other people… and that’s just too bad – accept it and adjust things accordingly.  Yep, Linda and I can be in a group sex situation and even if I’m doing something else, I am very much aware of where she is and even peeking to see what’s going on and looking for any signs of distress… because it is my duty to do this and if I have to stop what I’m doing to come to her aid, so be it – and that’s even though I know Linda is a bad-ass all by herself and more than capable of handling situations… but it doesn’t mean that I’d be that asshole and assume she really can handle anything.  I might get a lecture about coming to her rescue when she really didn’t need rescuing… but at least I was there for her.

And if you’re not gonna always be there for the woman you showed up with, you need to have your ass kicked.

If you’re looking to expand your sexual experiences and horizons, group sex is a great way to do this and, yes, lawd, it can be more fun than you could imagine but I’m the guy who’ll tell you that there’s a special mindset you must have before you even try to do this and if you can’t adapt to this special mindset and go in there thinking you can do it on the fly, you’re making a mistake and one you’re gonna regret for the rest of your life.  I’m not bullshitting you about this because I’ve seen people make this mistake more times than I care to think of and, yes, in my early experiences with this, even I had to learn how to leave my fears at the door (so to speak) but to also be willing and able to protect myself if it becomes necessary.  If it’s your first time with any kind of group sex – a threesome or facing a whole building full of people having sex – this is some really scary shit and scarier than you may be thinking about… but if you’re someone who has issues dealing with their sexual (and, yes, even sexuality) fears, please, don’t even try this even if someone dares you to, okay, because I can almost guarantee you that you’re gonna find out that you’re not as grown up as you think yourself to be.

 
2 Comments

Posted by on 5 June 2015 in Life, Living and Loving

 

Tags: , ,

2 responses to “Group Sex Thoughts

  1. Ann St. Vincent

    6 June 2015 at 08:07

    I wish you wrote this before my group sex experience last week 😉

    Like

     

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

 
Katya Evangeline

From Missionary to Sex Preacher and Loving It!

Domestic Discipline, Jenny style!

Unconventional journey to unimaginable fulfillment.

"Me."

All the things that make me, well "me."

CinnamonAndSparkles

If I had a power color, it would be sparkle. Landon Brinkley

Hopeful Heartache

Ramblings about life, relationships, anxiety, depression, and questions.

SeXXy Julie

Sexual Adventures & Erotica of a Cougar

Tarnished Soul

Searching for Peace in a Tumultuous World

Temperature's Rising

It's getting hot in here...

A Question of Lust

"Love My Way, It's a New Road"

Madeline Harper

ReImagined

Bellaelena

Random thoughts from a random mind

Equal Anarchy

Equality, Gender, Feminism, Sexuality

Sensual Desires

Sensual Poetry

thewritingofpassage

Writing about recovery.

The Watering Hole

Where everyone comes to quench their thirst for insight to life's challenging questions.

B0Y . LU5T

Coming to terms with being male, atheist, married, over 40, bisexual, kinky and blurring the lines of monogamy while living in a conservative "red state" .

afortnightaway

Parts Of My Life

Date A Bisexual

DateBisexual.net

ophisophia

The Wise Serpent

myarousal

Fetishes, Gender Issues, Sexual Politics, Erotic Memoirs

a worried whimsy

bouncing between happy and anxious

ann st vincent

My journey through marriage, open marriage, divorce, being a Mom, sexual rebirth, online dating, failed relationships, and lots of sex

The Conquest Files

"The truth is rarely pure and never simple." - Oscar Wilde

More Is Merrier

Views on consensual non-monogamy

Brighton Bipolar

Adult Survivor of Child Abuse and Diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder - Working towards ending the stigma of Mental Illness

The Self-Actualized Life

Have a fulfilling life, sexually and in every other way!

Assentively Yours

Ramblings of a depressed mind and other nuances.

Larry Archer's World (LarryArcher.com)

Erotica from the dirty mind of Larry Archer

theopenwife

is there a path to a successful open marriage?

thesinofindia

The silent inside of an anonymous Indian rebelling against society

The (Bi)te

The uninteresting world of a young bisexual girl

The Bi-Love-Ed RESEARCHER

What Perspective Matters Most Depends on Your Perception

Kittykat-bitsandbobs

Just my random thoughts and meanderings... I'll try to keep you entertained

Roller Coaster Life of a Fat Girl

Highs and Lows of My Weight Loss Journey

smallpenisbigissues

when and why size matters

rouge

I write when the choice is to die if I don't

My SEXuality

Why am I afraid to tell you who I'am?

Confessions of a Cheating Housewife

...because love just isn't enough ;)

Apparently I Don't Exist

The Many Adventures of a Bisexual Genderqueer

foreverdreamingoflove

WARNING **This Blog Is For Mature Audiences OVER THE AGE OF 18**

%d bloggers like this: