Some of my favorite kind of guys are those dudes who are just dying to have some man-sex… but are acting as if this isn’t what’s on their minds. You can feel their need and desire flowing off them in waves; you can hear it in their voice as their lust for dick is practically drowning them but they’re trying so hard to sound casual about whatever they’re talking about. The funnier guys are the ones who are dropping hints that even Stevie Wonder could see – and even I can pick up on them even though, um, sometimes, a hint can go right over my head. You can see in their body language… if you know how to look and I don’t mean just at his crotch although, yeah, if he has a tent in his pants, that’s kinda hard to miss.
I’ve never figured out how I know that they’ve decided to test me to see if I’d be interested in a little something… but I just know; there was a time where I’d find myself silently wishing that the guy would stop fucking around and get right to the point: If there’s something you wanna ask me, just ask already. I got to the point where I’d watch them dropping hints, grabbing their crotch and other such things with great amusement because, well, it’s just funny to see. Whether I’ve already decided to say yea or nay isn’t the point – these guys just make being bisexual such a good thing.
There was a time when I’d be impatient and just cut to the chase and ask them what they want to do – maybe they answer the question, sometimes their bluff got called and now they’re backpedaling… but, again, it just got to be so much fun to just sit and wait to see what they’re gonna say or do after they’ve made it “clear” that they want a blowjob and it no longer matters who’s doing it. At some point, I guess they’d get it into their head that, hmm, maybe I’m not catching on to their “subtle” hints and then they’ll say something like, “Man, I wouldn’t mind getting my dick sucked right about now…” or, like one guy blatantly said, “Man, I’d suck somebody’s dick if they’d suck mine!”
Would you now? Well, let’s see if you’re telling the truth… and you do know that they say, “Be careful what you wish for…” right?
So when I’ve said, “Okay, let’s do this!” or some other form of this, sometimes the surprised look on their face is so precious but not as much as the look of relief some of them have displayed and, yeah, honestly? When I got to the point where I’d just wait on them to get to the point, it was difficult for me not to want to start laughing because they’ve made this harder than it had to be. I’ve seen them move so quickly to whip their dick out that zippers have been destroyed, buttons popped and, once, a guy ripped the seam out of one leg of his pants trying to get his dick free. I’ve also seen them hesitate to get it out and as if, perhaps, their bluff just got called and they’ve gone through that “put up or shut up” moment and their ego now isn’t going to let them “shut up;” you said you wanted to do this so stop pussy-footing around, pull your dick out, and take your sucking like a man.
I’ve had some say, “Man, I was just kidding…” only to have me say, “I wasn’t… so whatcha gonna do?” And, um, yeah, I’ve kinda imposed my will on them by staring them down intently to see if they’re man enough to back up all that shit they were just talking; seeing that “Oh, shit!” look on their face is also quite precious and even if they chicken out (and most do), they walk away having learned a very valuable lesson, like, be very careful about talking about this because you never know who’s gonna call you on it. In these moments, I’ve seen guys who, normally, are quite eloquent and well-spoken turn into blithering idiots; it’s funny because if they were hitting on a girl for some pussy, eh, that’s easy… but cracking on a brother for some dick? Yeah… it depends on the guy you’re dropping hints on and, yep, some dudes don’t have a sense of humor about such things.
Wouldn’t it be so much easier to, say, walk up to me, “soften me up” with some small talk and then, at some point, change the subject and say, “Look, let’s give each other some head because I’m horny for some dick!” It would be – and it is for those guys who know what they want and have no qualms about being direct about it… although gay guys can be funny, too; I’ve stood and listened to them talk all kinds of shit about what they’d do if I let them at my dick and when I’ve said, “Okay, here it is…” or, if it can be done, just whip out the junk, man, the look on their face qualifies as being precious as well. I’ve had to laugh when they realized I just bought a case of the woof cookies they’ve been selling and they ask, “Are you serious?”
Well, let’s see… my dick is out and quite hard – does it look like I’m serious? Now, let’s see if you can back up all that shit you were just talking…
And it’s not as much about whether they can or not that’s interesting – it’s watching them trying to kick their game at me; you really can’t hit on a guy the same way you’d hit on a woman so you need a very different approach… and that’s not always direct to, uh-huh, watching them tap-dancing all over the place is often worth the time spent watching them do it. There was this one guy who asked, “What’s the best way to let a brotha know you want to suck his dick?”
“The best way? Just ask him,” I said – then he asked me if he could suck my dick. He went down on me like he was truly starving… but it wasn’t until after I drained his balls – his reward for doing such a fantastic job of blowing me – that I found out that he’d never done it before – and couldn’t tell me why he wanted to blow me in the first place.
I’ll admit that, in times like this, I’ve just played dumb so I can see what they’re gonna do; maybe I let them off the hook or, if not interested, just keep acting as if I have no idea what they’re talking about and maybe even act as if I’ve been “offended” – but I’ll also admit that, uh, I haven’t done that a whole lot because unless you have a damned good reason not to take him up on this offer, passing up a chance for some oral sex just doesn’t make sense… but I’ve got no qualms about making them squirm or otherwise work for it…
The most curious things in this? It’s when the offer’s been made and accepted… and now they’re worried about (a) the size of their dick and (b) whether or not they’re gonna be good at this. I dunno… maybe it’s just me but does this really matter? Size is whatever it is – nothing can be done about that and good, well, that’s eye of the beholder stuff and I’ve been of a mind that “good” doesn’t mean a whole lot given how hard it is to get anyone – male or female – to suck your dick to begin with, let alone entice you to cum.