While I’ve written about this particular thing before, uh, I felt like writing about it again. One of the things that drives me a bit batty are those guys who are looking for sex with other guys… but question whether or not you’re man enough to drop your boxers and get busy. On the one hand, I think it’s good that there are more men who aren’t shying away from this because they’re finding that you can do the do with a guy and still be very damned masculine; on the other hand, well, there are some things about this mindset I have issues with, like how a guy (from that site, of course) will leave me a note and basically say that if I’m a real man, I’ll lie down and let him fuck me after I suck his dick.
I’ve come back and asked them, “Do you suck dick?” or “Do I get to fuck you?” and, uh-oh, that seems to be a problem! Maybe it’s just me (and I seriously doubt that it is) but if I have to be man enough to suck your dick and let you fuck me, why aren’t you man enough to submit yourself to the same things? Now, this isn’t to say that some top-type guys don’t suck dick because they do… but maybe not as enthusiastically as one might think (the impression I get from these guys most of the time). So, um, how do you get off questioning my masculinity/manhood when it seems that your shit ain’t exactly going according to Hoyle?
It’s yet another disturbing sexual double standard and more so when you’re asking another man to do something you wouldn’t also do – and then throwing down the gauntlet by challenging his manliness in such a fashion… and then these guys are probably wondering why they ain’t getting what they want. Then, if that wasn’t bad enough, these same guys will demand that you not be feminine in your approach to this – and I’m guessing this is to weed out those effeminate gay men (or the rare bi guy who’s like this) but, okay, let’s look at this a little closer…
There are a lot of bottom guys who, when it comes to this, are all into the feminine role, i.e., it’s about sucking the other guy’s dick and letting him fuck you until one of you passes out – and that’s about it. No getting sucked or doing some fucking… and, yes, while there are masculine bottom guys, um, most of them are so… overtly so when you get them naked – but that’s not something I find unusual in the grand scheme of things. But let’s call a spade a spade: You want another man to do something that women have “owned” since Adam finally fucked Eve, putting him in the feminine/submissive role of sex… but you object greatly if he expresses the she in he? Really, dude?
I get that this can be seen as a way to “justify” guys having sex with guys, that it’s no longer a bitch thing to do (sorry, ladies, but that’s how it is put at times) and that real men shouldn’t have a problem with dick… except if you’re the top guy who is clearly searching for a bottom guy and unwilling to get your ass reamed out as well. Granted… does a guy have to “man up” in order to deal with a dick that ain’t his? Yeah, that’s on the real and more so since we all know how society and our culture has always looked at this; the conditioning we receive as guys is just so totally against this sexual behavior that it does take some really big balls and a lot of guts to dive into this end of the pool; there isn’t a man anywhere who’s into this kind of sex who didn’t have a first time and few who weren’t a bit hesitant about having that first time – you really have to question yourself; do you really want to do what you’ve been thinking about doing it even though you know good and damned well that you’re not supposed to?
Ya might think this is an easy decision but, for some men, it really isn’t… so what gives someone the right to question another man’s manhood like this? Fuck if I know but what I have come to understand is that if anyone’s manliness is in question, it’s the manliness of the guy who won’t suck cock or offer up his ass to be fucked and I’m pretty sure he’s not doing these things because he wants to protect his sense of being a man because our conditioning has always said, “Real men don’t have sex with other men.” I’m not saying that a guy is wrong for doing this – again, I know how scary it can be to suck another man’s dick or to take his dick in your ass but, come on, man, you don’t get to be all demanding about this “preference” and put my masculinity on trial. So, yeah, it’s okay for you to not be into reciprocation… but don’t you ever fucking dare to question whether I’m man enough to do this when, clearly, one of us isn’t… and it ain’t me.
This is an aspect of the man-sex dynamic that tends to make me say, “What the fuck?” a lot and, yeah, if you think women are funny about having sex, this behavior serves to show that men can be even funnier… and hypocritical. Yes, in any of this, we wind up developing our preferences when it comes to dick and, at some point, refining things so that we can clearly separate that which we like from that which we don’t… but that’s usually done via trial and error – you tried it, liked it, didn’t like it, might do it with the right kind of guy – stuff like that but I think it’s different when you come right out the gate saying that you’re willing to let another man blow you, really willing to bust a nut in his ass… but you’re just not gonna do those things yourself and, again, probably because it really does have an impact on your view of being a man and, um, regardless to whether or not someone else will think you’re a punk-assed bitch because you won’t suck cock or let yourself be fucked.
I think back to my early days and that sense of fairness that went with this: If a guy sucked your dick, you suck his; if you let him fuck you, it’s his turn next and, yeah, if you’re not down with this, well, who’s the fraidy-cat now? It’s not really about fairness or any equality because you also wind up learning what you like, what you don’t like, and that which scares the shit out of you – and for whatever reason it makes you afraid… and experience is a damned good and brutal teacher. Now, okay… back then, was it unusual to dare a guy to get naked and get busy like this? Nope, not really… but it was more of a challenge to your courage than it was about being manly; if you were afraid to do it, well, you were some kind of sissy and, as such, a lot of guys had to prove that they weren’t afraid because calling someone a coward will get a fight started PDQ (pretty damned quick). This thing some guys have going on today? It’s worse than calling out another dude for being a coward; you’re committing the “sin” of questioning his manhood and that usually doesn’t get a warm welcome, if you catch my drift.
And if you know this – and I’d have to say that there’s not a man anywhere who doesn’t know this – um, why would you ever want to question whether the other guy is man enough to do something you wouldn’t also do? I do get it – there are some guys who’ve tried to take it in the ass and just couldn’t deal with it but, jeez, giving each other some head is so… basic, I’d say; at the least, you “gotta” be able (and willing) to suck dick; it seems to me that if we don’t have the best view of women who are leery to do it (but who demand to be eaten all the time), then if you don’t at least suck dick, well, perhaps your manhood can be called into question. If you get bent when some dude refuses to give you his ass, maybe you should give some thought as to why he’s not gonna do that – and your shitty attitude set aside for a moment; if he doesn’t like being fucked, uh, how does that make him less manly if you, yourself, won’t ever give up your own ass like that?
To me, this part of the man-sex dynamic isn’t about whether a guy is man enough to give up his ass; it’s really about having that fear of something big and hard going into your own ass – this is about courage, not manliness. I personally don’t believe that you should ask a man to do something you can’t do yourself; maybe that makes me too “old-fashioned” about some things and that’s fine but if this is really a question of honor, well, there are a lot of dudes out there today who, in my opinion, don’t have much in the way of honor. Yes… I know there are guys who fuck other guys but haven’t been fucked themselves and it’s not because they don’t want to be fucked… they’re just very leery about doing it and, at least to me, that’s different from just declaring your own butt-hole off-limits because you ain’t into that. A guy’s preferences should be respected even if you don’t really understand them… but I just believe that you should never, ever hint, assume, or imply that a man isn’t man enough to have sex with another man; you never question a guy’s manhood like this and if you’re really man enough, you should never ask another man to do something that you won’t do, oh, like getting your asshole stretched out or acquiring the taste for sperm.
You can’t do either of these things… and I’ll ask you if you’re really man enough to do it because I honestly don’t think you are. Again, to me, there’s a huge difference between not getting around to being fucked or sucking a guy off and thinking that these things don’t apply to you; if you can demand that a guy be man enough for this, shouldn’t you be just as much of a man to, at the least, get your tonsils creamed? Do you, inside that thick skull of yours, believe that sucking dick is, ah, a bitch thing to do (sorry again, ladies)? Do you ever feel ashamed of yourself because there are guys out there who can do something you can’t bring yourself to do? And, if you aren’t, then maybe you should be ashamed if you’ve never done it which, again, isn’t the same as trying it and not liking it – and it’s okay if you tried it and didn’t like it… but don’t you fucking dare question a guy’s manhood about this and try to shame him into doing something you can’t do.
Just saying… and thus endeth the rant.