A recent conversation with a newly made friend (and fellow male bisexual) brought this question to mind: Just how does a guy new to having sex with men get into giving head? At the very least, when two guys decide that getting naked with each other would be a good idea, unless someone says they’re not into sucking cock, well, it’s on the menu… and now it’s a matter of doing it (a) because it’s expected or (b) doing it as if your life depended on it.
I’m not sure if I know how to explain it in a way that makes sense when you try to put it into words. It’s not all about technique even though the more you learn how to suck cock and how guys respond to what you’re doing – or their lack of response – the more you can refine or add to your ability. So, yeah, while learning how to deepthroat nine hard inches of dick is a neat thing to learn, it doesn’t necessarily mean that you’re into it. Just because you can suck and yank on his shit (or aren’t squeamish about tickling his prostate) until he cums says a lot… doesn’t mean that you’re into it, though.
Wanting to be good at it isn’t quite the same as feeling that certain thrill one can feel just by thinking about sucking cock. It’s not exactly lust, such as it is; fuck, I don’t know how to say this but it’s a really deep feeling, not quite excitement, not exactly eagerness, and maybe not like a lot of things I just cannot put into words. When you are truly into sucking cock, you just know it; you can feel it right down to the very core of yourself.
It’s not easy to work up the nerve to put your mouth on another man’s boner although, yes, some newbies find it very easy since they’ve probably worked it all out in their head before having their first time. Some guys go into this with the thought that they know how to suck cock because they’ve been sucked… and that’s not quite how it works unless you’re really perceptive and understand how women look at doing this; that’ll kinda prepare you for your first taste of dick but you won’t really know if you can do it until it’s time to do it, if that makes sense. So the first “helpful hint” for the guy who has no idea how to suck dick is to do it like you like to be sucked and this works most of the time and, yep, the more you do it, the better you can get at it… if you want to be better at it.
But to be into it, like, um, how I’m into it, yeah, you have to want to be into it. I know a lot of guys can do it – they’ve gotten over their fears about it and they are good at it (whatever that really means) – but they’re not into it and I think there’s some subconscious shit going on that’s trying to keep his masculinity intact because it’s a well-known “fact” that if you really get into sucking dick, you’re probably very gay and I do apologize to any gay men reading this because I’m not trying to offend them as much as I’m putting out there what some guys think about this.
It’s being “turned on” about doing it even when you’re not doing it and I’d have to say that this is pretty much like the same feeling you have about getting some pussy; just the mere thought of it just gets you all cranked up inside (and maybe even provide some external, visual proof) because just imagining having all your senses opened to this sexual experience can make you restless, anxious, eager and, yes, so damned horny that you’d even be willing to let your preferences in this (if you have them) go by the wayside just to have the chance to suck dick. The best analogy is being hungry to have cock in your mouth and if you ever feel like you’re starving, then I’d say you were into it.
But I don’t know what can trigger the hunger… or I don’t think I know. It’s not as simple as telling yourself, “I really want to get into this!” It’s not so much an effort of will than it is getting yourself to be willing to just lose yourself in having cock in your mouth. Jeez, this is difficult to put into words, let me tell you, but I’m thinking that anyone who into sucking cock knows exactly what I’m trying to say. It’s not something that can be taught – it has to be discovered or uncovered, or just let loose. It’s something that goes beyond mere enjoyment but it’s that very intangible thing that’ll have your conscious mind thinking, “Damn, I love sucking dick!”
Oh, yeah, and I’m not sure every guy who sucks cock experiences this in the exact same way. I know what it’s like for me – it’s a hunger – but when I think about it, I’m not thinking about types of guys, size, color, shape or anything like that; I’m not even thinking about whether he cums or not and I’m not all that concerned about whether he cums in biblical proportions or not. It’s “simply” about sucking dick… period. I told my new friend – and I’ve mentioned it here a few times – that I realized that I’m very selfish about doing it; I don’t suck dick to make the other guy happy, I do it to make me happy and if he benefits from it, i.e., he’s lost his load, then that works – it’s win/win. I guess getting into it – aka, loving it – is a matter of perspective and getting your mind into that place and I’d suppose that how a guy can get himself to that place depends on how well he can deal with himself about giving a blow job. It’s a singular focus on the act itself and not the way it can end. It’s doing it because you can; it’s doing it because you want to and, in a way, it’s doing it because you have to because not doing it doesn’t make you feel good at all.
I couldn’t teach someone how to love it and, as you can see, I’ve done a very shitty job of trying to explain it; all I can do is try to put into words how I feel about it. Maybe this will work: It’s pretty much the same as loving to eat pussy so if you understand that, then it’s kinda easy to see how that also works for sucking dick… and I don’t do a good job of explaining my love for that either. I just know what it feels like. Should a guy learn to get into giving blow jobs? Sure – why not? I mean, what’s the point in doing it if it’s not going to give you great pleasure to do it? I’d say that if you’re not experiencing orgasmic feelings when you’re sucking dick, then you’re not really into it. No, I don’t mean sucking a dick will make you bust a nut… even though that can happen and I’m not going to get into how I know this, okay? The love… that being into it… it’s all internal and resides in a place that you can touch and feel when you look inward… but explaining how to get there?
You just know it when you get there. Which brings me to a final thought about this: What does being good at it really mean? Is it technique and skill? Is it being able to make the other guy cum? If you swallow all he has to offer, does this make one good at it? Or is good really about how you can make the other guy feel along the way and your ability to induce wonderful feelings in him is being driven by something that can’t be quantified and barely qualified? Good isn’t really about how you do it… it’s why you do it that brings being meaning to being good at it and being into it. So maybe the guy looking to “get more into sucking dick” has to take a very close look at why he’s sucking cock and it’s in the answer to the question of why where he might find the key to truly being into it…
Jeez, I sound like an idiot trying to explain this…