There’s probably not too many things as terrifying as getting ready to have sex with a guy and at the moment of truth, have these words come out of your mouth.
It could happen just before the other guy goes down on you or, gasp, when his boner is right in your face and you’re about to take him into your mouth. It can happen when you’re on your stomach or back and you feel the spongy hardness of his knob pressing against your back door and, yep, there you are, about to impale him on your hardness.
You want to… but.
So what’s going on here? You wanted to do this, was pretty damned sure and confident that you could do this but now it’s time to get real… and you’re having second thoughts about proceeding. You’ve probably severely underestimated the power of Guilt or even the powerful influence of the social conditioning that says you shouldn’t be having sex with a man at all.
Maybe it’s the other guy? Before you two got naked (and to this moment), not only was he saying the right things but you were okay with the vibe he was giving off… but now, shit, it’s all different; his vibe has changed to one that’s making you uncomfortable and it’s stopping you dead in your tracks.
Maybe it’s you and the shock of facing the reality of what’s about to go down? It’s not Guilty but that “Oh, shit!” moment when you realize that what you had in your head about this has now gotten very real; it’s one thing to think you want to do it but now you know that whatever you were thinking ain’t even close to what you’re experiencing in his moment of truth.
The good thing is that it happens to newbies and experienced men alike; the bad thing is that it happens and the reason why it did might not be readily available: You want to, but…
What happens after you utter these words depends on the guy you’ve just disappointed – not all men take coitus interruptus in a good way and aren’t all that understanding and, yes, things could get fugly. Now, how does one avoid this, ah, embarrassing situation?
You can’t. You can be 100% sure that this what you want to do; you have the conviction to get it on but you cannot do anything about the unknown things that can pop up at the speed of thought or can just change at the tiniest provocation, a look, a word, even a touch. It has little to do with choosing the “right kind of guy” because you can do that and still find that you want to, but…
So what can you do about this? Stop, rethink, and regroup and if you can’t convince yourself that it’s okay to proceed, then don’t do anything else – and hope the other guy is an understanding one.