Today’s Bisexual Thoughts: Bisexual Shaming

08 Jul

One of the old, ancient, moldy, and decrepit gripes against bisexuals is that we’re greedy, that we are unable to settle for just having sex with one person at a time no matter if we’re in a relationship or not and, I think at times, without giving one solidary thought to the fact that bisexuals aren’t the only ones who have a penchant for getting all the sex they can get away with.  I guess that being straight or gay and getting laid by any means necessary is seen as being different…

This gripe is supposedly meant to shame bisexuals into choosing one side of the fence and staying there and commit themselves to being monosexual and, surprisingly, it does serve to make some bisexuals think twice about exploring their sexuality because there aren’t many people who like being known as (or accused of being) a slut, man-whore, and other such ugly things.  For me, it’s not all that difficult to figure out why being monosexual in one’s pursuit of sex has been touted as the only way to have sex and it all goes back to a time in our history when there weren’t that many humans around so, yep, doing the boy/girl thing and making babies was – and still is – an imperative for our species.  Biologically, it makes sense – every animal that can reproduce has to to  reproduce but, socially and for humans, well, okay – we can fuck just because it feels good and if a baby happens, that works… but the only reason to fuck is to make babies so since we refuse to admit that sex is a form of recreation for us as well as a form of procreation, how dare you want to have sex with men and women… you greedy motherfuckers!

To me, if you understand the root of the angst, it makes sense… but the social logic is flawed and more so if certain factions who are not fond of bisexuals is going to overlook their own proclivity to fuck as many people as they can and by any means necessary, just like our society tends to gloss over the fact that sex is pretty much thrown into our faces every single day and hammering us with its idea of what’s sexy or what things in life can lend themselves to sexual bliss:  Do you really think a thong makes practical sense being merely a way to protect one’s genitals or that a skimpy, two-piece bikini is the idea thing to wear when you go swimming?

I think not!  It’s hypocritical to say, “Go ye forth and multiply…!” and then turn around and say, “Oh, wait… you should only do it under these conditions, my bad…” and more so when our whole society is about things sexual and probably spends trillions of dollars to promote this.  So, as a bisexual, when someone calls me a greedy bastard, instead of getting insulted, I agree with them because if you’re gonna consider me a greedy bastard because I love having sex and, unlike a lot of people, I have no qualms about whether it’s with a man or a woman, then I’m guilty as charged and, no, I’m not ashamed of it one damned bit.

I hear this gripe and have, at times, responded, “What, it’s my fault that you don’t like the fact that I can do something you don’t have the courage to do?”  Yeah, it tends to piss people off but if you’re gonna try to insult me, I don’t believe in turning the other cheek and I don’t get mad – I get even.  Still, when I get the greedy bastard label thrown at me, man, I just love the looks on their faces when I say, “Yep, I sure am and, oh, by the way, my mother and father were married when I was born…”

If you’re bisexual, should you be ashamed of the fact that you want more sex that our morality allows?  The haters say you should… and I emphatically say that you shouldn’t ever be ashamed of the fact that you love sex and in whatever form works for you.  Sure, we can drag relationship statuses into this discussion and have an intense discussion about the morality of monogamy and the sanctity of marriage vows and how they should be upheld at every turn… but it’s a specious argument and simply because not everyone abides by the rules (and regardless of the reason why they don’t).  And, yes, the haters tend to overlook the fact that a lot of bisexuals are quite monogamous and happy… but it’s easier to point out the bad stuff than it is to focus on the good stuff, ain’t it?

It’s not that we, as bisexuals, don’t know what the rules are… they’re just too limiting and restricting when you have that natural craving for sex.  The haters seem to think that our “greediness” is about quantity alone… nope, not really the whole truth – but what shit do they say about this is the whole truth?  The truth – and one that applies to everyone who has sex – is that it’s about quantity… and quality and those two things are so specific to a person that no one can agree on what’s too much or what’s too good and, really, if you profess to love sex, how can there be such a thing as too much or a session is too good?  We – and thanks to our morality – try to cram these two Qs into one package and then expect it to work to perfection all of the time… and you learn that it doesn’t really work that way.

In my mind, it’s not about Q2 – quality and quantity – as much as it is opportunities to have sex – period.  So if I love pussy – and I do so very much love pussy, thank you very much – and I’ve learned that dick can bring some nice pleasures to the party as well and I don’t have a problem partaking of either thing, then what’s the problem?  Am I really greedy?  I might be opportunistic but, nah, greedy just doesn’t work because that assumes (or maybe presumes) that I want more than what’s allowable… and I ain’t feeling that because who the hell knows how much sex I need?  Oh, you don’t like that I’m getting mine from other “forbidden” sources?  You have the right to not like it… ain’t shit you can do about it, though except whine and moan that I’m being greedy or other shit that’s within my rights to totally ignore if I see fit to.

When I think of my earlier exploits, yep, I can say that I was a cock whore and a pussy fiend… because I was and, actually, I still am – but it’s all about moderation, after all.  I don’t ever see bisexuals as being any more greedy than anyone else who’s willing to get their freak on and by any means necessary.  A bisexual woman has a husband and a girlfriend she’s having sex with?  That ain’t greed – that’s the pursuit of sexual pleasure and happiness.  Does it make her a greedy slut?  Nope… but the people who can’t do what our happy bisexual woman is doing would think so… and maybe they’re a bit miffed because they can’t don’t it, too.  A man can be happily married and love fucking his wife whenever she’ll let him at the goodies and take care of his hunger for dick… and he’ll be seen as a greedy, cheating son-of-a-whore even though he has his wife’s permission and blessing to have some beans and franks.

I guess because the haters can’t stop bisexuals from being bisexual, their only other tactic is to try to shame us into not being bisexual – and the other tactic they like to use is trying to scare us straight.  The sad part, again, is that it works on some of us but, yeah, there are those of us (including yours truly) who feel no shame whatsoever when it comes to our desire for sex.  Would I be seen as a greedy bastard if I was fucking my woman four times a day, every day and six times on Sunday?  Probably not… but if I were doing all that to her and going next door and getting with “Herb” then I guess that’s why they think I’d be greedy… but it’s clear to me that they have no true understanding of the word and that if it’s true that there’s no such thing as too much sex, then isn’t it hypocritical to call me greedy?

It just isn’t our fault that when it comes to having sex, we don’t impose such limits on ourselves and just because there are people who are willing to do this to themselves, well, that’s on them and, really, they should mind their own fucking business and stay out of ours, to be frank and blunt about it…


Posted by on 8 July 2015 in Today's Bisexual Thoughts


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7 responses to “Today’s Bisexual Thoughts: Bisexual Shaming

  1. acquiescent72

    10 July 2015 at 01:58

    I think this speaks out on so many levels. Granted, other than the guys I’ve been with, know one really knows I am bisexual…I mean my wife is aware, but no one else…and I tend to leep it that way, because of the backlash.


    • kdaddy23

      10 July 2015 at 02:01

      Careful, yes but never ashamed of being bisexual…

      Liked by 1 person

      • acquiescent72

        10 July 2015 at 02:02

        Eh…I am working on the shame. 🙂


      • kdaddy23

        10 July 2015 at 02:10

        Ask yourself this, my friend: is it logical for you to be ashamed? If it doesn’t then why feel shame?

        Liked by 1 person

      • acquiescent72

        10 July 2015 at 02:15

        Logic and emotions are distinctly different, Mr. Spock….lol


      • kdaddy23

        10 July 2015 at 02:41

        Of course they are but emotion can’t answer the question, can it?

        Liked by 1 person

      • acquiescent72

        10 July 2015 at 02:42




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