After my last brain droppings, I “suddenly” thought about the reaction a lot of people have when they learn that you’re bisexual; for some reason I don’t pretend to understand, these folks will almost automatically assume that your announcement has something to do with them, i.e., if you tell one of your boys, he’s gonna think you’re after his dick and if you tell a woman (and especially your woman), then she’s thinking (a) you’re some kind of fucked up individual and/or (b) what you just told her means you have found fault with her about something.
Of course, I’m not gonna say that your announcement doesn’t have something to do with the person you told; you could very well be after homey’s dick and, yep, your lady could be at fault in some way… but as a matter of course? Nah, what you’ve decided to share with them doesn’t have one thing to do with them other than you felt they needed to know.
For me, it’s one of those “If I had a dollar for every time…” moments; I reveal this thing about me and, at some point, I find now find myself explaining to them that what I just said doesn’t have anything to do with them – and several times at that and with varying degrees of emphasis which can also include, “What part of ‘this ain’t about you’ didn’t you understand?”
What I don’t get is why their first assumptions are of this variety; over time, I’ve gotten to the point where if it’s my intention to get into homey’s BVDs, I will say that; if it’s a woman, well, if nothing else, I want her to know who she’s dealing with so, um, no, sweetie – what I’m telling you doesn’t have shit to do with how I feel about you or any of the things I want to do with you, okay? I mean, did you hear the part where I told you that I’ve been bisexual damn near all of my life? At least for me, this behavior is more annoying than having them flip their lid over the matter because there are times where no matter how hard I try to explain it to them – and no matter how many inventive ways I wind up having to explain it, they still think that what I told them has something to do with them.
I’ve told certain guys and have heard them say, “I ain’t down like that!” and now I’m thinking, “What the fuck does that have to do with anything?” I’ve told certain women and have heard them say, “Is there something about me you don’t like?” or “What’s wrong with the way we’re having sex?” or “What about my feelings?” or “Why you gotta do some shit like that?” and the ever-popular, “I should be all that you need!”
Now their ass is in a tizzy and it’s a sad thing to watch but, at the same time, it can be of clinical interest to have taken what I’ve told them and by some mysterious twist in their thinking, get it into their head that (a) I wanna get freaky or (b) I’m finding some horrible fault in them. And I have asked them, after their outbursts, why they’d even think that what I said had anything to do with them other than I felt the need for them to know… and, yeah, I know it’s a knee-jerk reaction but listening to them trying to explain their reaction to me is just… interesting.
Suddenly, it’s all about what they believe in or how they feel about the subject and, okay, so now I know where you stand on the subject but, um, why do you think that what I said is all about you? Huh? Even if they don’t know the answer, I do – and I have all the stereotypical bullshit that’s been around since before I was born to thank for their “selfish” reaction… and it just makes me roll my eyes and, yep, makes me kick myself for thinking that they’d understand the situation. I know that no matter what they say after they calm down, they’re not gonna be too keen to be in my presence, let alone admit to anyone that they know me – and, with some dudes, they still think I’m told them because I want to have sex with them!