A lot of men turn to bisexuality or even homosexuality simply because they’re lonely, those men who for whatever reason are social outcasts; they’re not the best looking of men, are severely overweight, are elderly, disabled, or otherwise seen as undesirable by women. I’ve talked to such men, have had sex with such men, and have been curious about what went through their mind to make them decide that their best bet for (a) friendship and (b) sexual release was to turn to other men for these things.
Some of these guys told me that in their minds, they had no choice – and you’d have to know what it feels like to be a social outcast to really understand this as they do and I’m fortunate that some of these guys were able to make me “feel their pain” in this. I mean, we all know what it’s like to have someone not like us… but to be summarily rejected out of hand by almost everyone you come across is some unimaginable mental anguish.
As I was thinking about this, I was reminded of an elderly man – he was 66 at the time we chatted – who was desperate for all the male interactions he could get. He told me that he had his prostate removed to deal with prostate cancer and that often prevented him from getting an erection and if he did manage that, the chances that he would ejaculate were slim to none… but he told me that he loved to suck dick and was more than willing to let a guy plow his south forty because (a) it gave him pleasure to be used like this and (b) it was the only way to get other people to associate with him.
I felt so badly for this man, who had other infirmities that not only limited his ability to get around but were such that his own children didn’t want to visit him. He told me, when I expressed my sorrow, “Don’t be sad for me! I’d rather be another man’s fuck toy than to be here all alone all of the time so I’m happy.” I don’t know if he’s still alive today or not.
It got me thinking about the other outcasts I’ve come in contact with, men who have told me that if it weren’t for them giving up their bodies to other men for sex, no one would want to associate with them and that adopting this lifestyle was preferable to being alone and unwanted. Their only crime was being physically unappealing, constantly rejected by those who didn’t care to look at the inner person these men were – on the inside, these were some decent people and getting to know them taught me an important lesson about being superficial or, really, to not be so rabidly superficial to just reject someone merely by looking at them, the same lesson I learned about those women who no one would even say hello to, let alone have sex with them; in this, men would take one look at them and reject them out of hand because of their looks or their body type or some other thing and without realizing that (a) if they bothered to get to know them and/or (b) took them to bed, hah, they would have learned what I learned about them: They were better people and lovers than the prettiest women strutting around.
I got a lot of pussy just by seeing with better eyes than everyone else… and I’ve had some great sex with those socially outcast men for the same reason. One guy I met (but didn’t have sex with) told me that he knew that by putting himself out there and being sexually available to other men was asking for trouble but he also understood that there are a lot of men who’d wind up in his bed because some pretty chick wouldn’t give him the time of day… and that the reason why the dude who got dissed was with him was because of desperation.
“Most of those motherfuckers don’t even care what kind of man I am on the inside,” he said to me; you could feel the profound sadness flowing off of him in waves. “All they know that if they can’t get some woman to fuck them, I’m more than willing to serve that purpose.”
“Doesn’t that make you feel used?” I asked.
“Yeah, it does,” he said as a smile brightened his features, “but it’s better to be used than to always be by yourself. I let those bastards use me but check this out: I’ve had more company in the last two days than most motherfuckers have in a month.”
To me, that was so poignant and telling. This one guy weighed like 320 and no one would say that he carried his weight well at all… but his personality was attractive and I didn’t have to have sex with him to know that if I did, it would be memorable; these guys, these social outcasts, learn to master the skills of having sex so that they’re better than the average person who’s getting all the pussy they can handle and, yeah, the outcasts I’ve had sex with could put a lot of women to shame when it comes to sucking dick and being fucked.
Another such man told me this: “What those superficial motherfuckers don’t know is that one day, people are gonna treat them just like I’m being treated – then let’s see how they handle that shit!”
He couldn’t have been more right than that, could he? In all of this, it’s not hard to see or understand why these social outcasts would be bisexual or even gay, not by some sense of choice but out of necessity… and maybe because it’s the only way they can remain sane and survive. And I think it’s a shame that these men are deemed to be good enough to dump sperm into… but not good enough to be seen with you in public. Indeed, me and one guy went to lunch one day and he couldn’t understand why I’d “risk my reputation” to be seen with him. I told him, “I don’t care what they have to say about who I hang out with – and none of them have the balls to say something about it to my face. I think you’re a decent person and someone worth hanging out with and it’s not my fault that I can see this and they can’t, is it?”
These guys are the way they are because were it not for their willingness to give head and be fucked by other men, no one else would even acknowledge them other than to talk shit about the way they look.