This phrase is generally used to “explain” some of the crazy, insane, and inexplicable things guys are prone to do; using it is easier than trying to launch into a detailed explanation for why we’d do something, like, oh, say, get caught choking the chicken, laying the pipe to a girl or, in more “extreme” examples, giving your best friend a blow job, getting busted getting fucked in the ass and other things along these lines.
So last night, I found myself scrolling through Tumblr – and because I hadn’t bothered to check the app for any comments to my blog posts that go there – and, honestly, I’m not sure what Tumblr started out as… but I’m thinking it’s probably one of the biggest porn sites on the Internet. Anyway, I’m scrolling along and my mind is automatically picking out pictures I’ve seen too many times – a lot of the porn seen on this site is recycled more than paper – but some of the new stuff that’s following me (and not by my choice, mind you) is all about boys being boys… and in a way that we know boys can be boys but, more often than not, do our best to turn a blind eye to.
There were guys jerking off, putting their cocks and asses on display; there were pics and videos of guys of all races, colors, and creeds sucking dick, being sucked, getting nailed in the ass with the real thing or with dildos that had colors I’m sure don’t really appear in nature (or other objects I’m sure weren’t designed to be inserted into one’s anus); some of these guys were faceless, most weren’t and interspersed in all the “amateur” offerings was the expected gay porn stuff that even makes me ask, “What the fuck…?”
I think I saw like four or five straight video clips of boys being boys… and sniffing something from a small brown bottle and I’ll admit that I’m not quite sure what’s in it but I suspect it’s amyl nitrite or one of the other nitrites that are known as poppers; amyl nitrite relaxes the body’s smooth muscles and can facilitate anal sex and, I guess, make whatever sex you’re having better even though one of the things this drug does is cause an immediate drop in one’s blood pressure. Under the banner of “boys will be boys,” I can admit that I got a noseful of amyl nitrite once – me and the guys who found the package of ampules thought it was ammonia or smelling salts – and, being boys, it was automatically a good idea to pop one of the ampules and take a very deep breath because it’s just funny to get a big whiff of ammonia and watch someone’s eyes water like Niagara Falls… except this wasn’t ammonia and I can tell you that immediate drop in my blood pressure wasn’t fun at all; given what I remember about that experience, I also kinda don’t see how having the bottom drop out of your BP – something I found to be pretty damned scary – makes having sex pleasurable or even doable – but that’s me.
The guy(s) posting this stuff must have been on a roll because I was scrolling through this stuff for very long minutes before I found something that wasn’t related to boys being boys; I found myself to be “surprised” at the diversity of the men being depicted: White, Black, Hispanic, Oriental; young (at least 18) and middle-aged men; chubby, undeniably and unquestionably fat, skinny as a rail, muscular, and overly muscled and, yep, even some shots of guys old enough to be my father parading around in the nude or manhandling their erections for the camera; the demographics being displayed was, well, kinda awesome because when it comes to this, boys being boys isn’t limited to just one aspect or one segment; some of these men appeared to be gay (not that you can always tell by looking but, yeah, sometimes you can) but what got me was that most of the men depicted were the kind of men you’d never suspect would be interested in another man’s body… but there they are, in all their lusty glory, boys just being boys.
Now, what cracked me up was a picture of a young Black guy sucking another Black guy’s dick… and trying to hide his face while he had a good amount of dick in his mouth; other pictures and video clips had guys wearing “Lone Ranger”-type masks or other devices in an attempt to disguise their features… and I had to laugh at how ludicrous this all seemed to me: They were willing to be photographed and/or filmed having sex with other men… but were doing some funny shit so that no one would find out who they were? I mean, a lot of the guys trying to hide their features had more tattoos than I have and most of them quite unique so even if you really couldn’t see the guy’s face, his unique tats were a dead giveaway… so why bother to hide your face?
Oh, and then, why bother to hide your face and not really do a good job of hiding it? I’m seeing this stuff and rolling my eyes at these lame attempts to be anonymous, thinking that the police – and definitely the NSA – has facial recognition software that’s good enough to ID these guys and despite their best efforts to hide their identity. But then it got funnier when I saw (in particular) young Black men on their knees, sloppily sucking dick… and trying to look into the cellphone camera all at the same time… and some were even trying to hold the phone, look at the phone, and deal with the cock being vigorously inserted into their oral cavity.
And even I thought, “Boys will be boys, even in these days and times…” I even started to think about the hypocrisy being displayed on Tumblr, that being, there are so many men who like having sex with other men that don’t want anyone to know that they like this kind of sex… but they’ll put themselves on Tumblr (and God only know what other sites) for the whole damned world to see. I know that in the early days of the Internet, your anonymity was pretty much assured but today? You can’t do shit without your IP address being tracked and logged, your location determined – and, yes, even by a picture or video and more so if you have any inkling of how cell phones work; anyone with the right skills and tools (say, someone with my training), if they wanted to, could find out who these men are, where they live, where their picture or video was taken, when it was taken, all that good stuff… and I found myself wondering if these guys – and especially the ones who were trying to hide who they were (and often failing miserably) – even gave any of this some thought before putting themselves out there and in some, uh, compromising situations.
I’m not knocking these men for putting themselves out there because, boys being boys, doing shit that most people wouldn’t dream of doing always sounds like a fun thing to do; it’s being in-your-face naughty and, of course, it’s all very familiar to me because I’ve done much of the same things these guys can be seen doing as far as the sex goes – it really is boys being boys. We – society – get our asses on our backs about homosexual sex; we denigrate it, vilify it, and pretty much every- and anything that can be done to cast this in the most negative light as possible… and nothing has come close to stopping or preventing boys from being boys in this sense.
I closed the Tumblr app (and without finding anything related to my blog posts this time) and found myself somewhat deep in thought about what I’d seen. There was a time when boys having sex with boys was seen as a queer/gay thing to do only; then more bisexual men were coming to the surface (or out of their closets, if you prefer) and, well, y’all know what they’re saying about bisexual men… but it occurred to me that it is very possible that a lot of the men I saw having some kind of sex just may not have been gay or bi because it only takes a few things for a man to have sex with another man: A desire to do it and another guy to say, “Okay, let’s do this thing!” – and simply because it can be done and sexuality, as we currently understand it anyway, isn’t at issue; I mean, how many men today will tell you that they’re heteroflexible (I still can’t stand this word) or categorically deny that they’re bisexual… but they don’t have a problem getting busy with a dick despite their insistence that they are and always have been straight?
I even thought for a moment that while these guys putting their business out there on the Internet does give this kind of sex some necessary visibility, like, if you still think guys ain’t doing this, I beg you to guess again – but, at the same time, looking at some of the shit these “boys” are doing to each other, well, maybe this is the kind of “publicity” we don’t really need. Still, when it comes to the question of accepting that boys will always be boys in this, well, how much more evidence is required before society realizes that this is the way we can be and for whatever reason that makes sense to us? They find boys being boys abhorrent but you can also go on Tumblr and see acts of heterosexual sex that even make me cringe – and I’ve seen some shit in my time. It kinda fucks with my sensibilities that folks would think that it’s okay for a dude with a moderately (or very) large dick to deliberately gag a woman with until she’s practically throwing up… but it’s a bad thing to see a man with his dick in another man’s ass; we can even look at a picture or video clip with a woman, her face buried into another woman’s crotch, and find this to be all fine and dandy… but let it be a pic or a clip of a guy with a dick buried in my mouth and watch how badly we can react to this.
I remember, back in the day, when two brothers got caught having sex with each other; the ass-kicking they got became legendary in our ‘hood, let me tell ya! What I remember about this was what I overheard some adults talking about what happened; gossip is the only thing faster than the speed of light; sure, it was deplorable, despicable behavior that they were both gonna burn in hell for and they should have gotten their asses kicked worse than what they did (and believe me, it was bad) but the general consensus was, “You know how it is – it’s just boys being boys!” Those adult males were in agreement that if they ever caught their sons doing some shit like that, there would be hell to pay even if it was just boys being boys, Now, I certainly wasn’t going to say anything about the fact that the sons of some of those men were “being boys,” just like I wasn’t insane enough to mention that some of those adults were guilty of “just being boys” either.
Back then, it was all pretty confusing: They knew that some boys were having sex with boys, thought of it as being a matter of course because, um, boys will be boys, but at the same time, it was the worst thing in the world for boys to be doing… and I wondered how both things could be seen as being “all right and proper.” Today I get it… but we still acknowledge that boys will be boys even as we continue to go our of our way to denounce boys being boys when it comes to this and even when boys can be seen being boys on Tumblr and other places.
Man… we live in one crazy, fucked up world…