Today’s Bisexual Thoughts: After A While…

13 Sep

…you just get tired of explaining to people why you’re bisexual.  You get tired of the looks they get on their faces, from surprise to utter disgust; you get tired of them asking if you’re gay or otherwise have issues with women, up to and including the possibility of having an overbearing mother or an overly affectionate father (and that’s provided your father was still in the home).  You get tired of them asking what really is a silly question:  “Why would you suck another man’s penis?” and more so when the answer should be pretty damned obvious.

You get tired of listening to the ancient rhetoric about sex that harkens back to a time before even your great grandparents were born; you get tired of being preached to, being told that if you don’t repent, you’re going to burn in hell for all the sins you’ve committed by lying down with another man for the purpose of sexual congress.  You get tired of people voicing their disgust and talking about how dirty and nasty having sex with a man is and, yes, you get tired of hearing that “Adam and Steve” bullshit…

After a while, you find a reason to not let yourself be browbeaten or bullied, lectured and preached to, or continually subjected to the prejudicial ignorance that tends to come out of the mouths of people who are just too clueless to really understand the facts of life as they really are… and you start firing back on them, challenging and even questioning their intelligence because it’s obvious that they’d rather believe all the bullshit than to grasp and understand the truth about sex; it gives you a chance to point out their hypocrisy by asking them things like, “Well, if it’s okay for a guy to fuck a woman in the ass, why isn’t it okay for that same guy to fuck a man in the ass?” or “If it’s okay for a woman to suck dick, why isn’t it okay for a man to do that very same thing?”

And then watch them squirm and maybe even get pissed because you had the audacity to come back at them in such a way by uncovering the flaws in their so-called logic and making them drop back and punt by saying, “Because that’s just the way it’s always been!” and because they just learned that everything they thought they knew about people having sex is totally and completely about as wrong as it gets.

After a while, you get tired of people asking, “What does it feel like to have some other dude sucking your dick or fucking you?” and you get tired of rolling your eyes and maybe even asking them, “You have sex, don’t you?  You do?  What does it feel like to you?” and other such questions; you try to be as tolerant possible because while you understand that there’s really no such thing as a stupid question, man, having to explain Sex 201 to people really puts that assertion to the test.

After a while, you get tired of people looking at you as if you’re some kind of freak or other sexual deviant; you get tired of their self-righteous demeanor as they proclaim themselves better than you just because they hold the boy/girl thing as dear to them as the Holy Grail and, yeah, sometimes, you actually get tired of thinking about just how ignorant these people are and how very much afraid of the truth of things they are and, yeah, sure, you really get tired of them trying to drag you back into the box that you successfully escaped from.

I know I got tired of it after a while.  At first, I actually enjoyed explaining my sexuality to those who’d ask me about it… then it just stopped being a  “fun” thing to do when I found myself spending hours trying to explain something that’s not all that difficult to understand… unless you’re somehow being compelled not to understand that there’s more than one way to have good sex and some of those other ways don’t involve women at all.  I got tired of arguing with so many closed-minded individuals but was still fascinated at how strongly they’d protest against the idea that having another man giving you a blowjob is actually a fun thing to do and, oh, yeah, sometimes, it’s way better than any woman could do it… if you could get her to do it at all, mind you.  I got tired of asking, “What’s the difference between fucking a woman in the ass and doing the same thing to a man?” and then watching them struggle to answer the question and it all began to make me feel sad for them because they really didn’t know what the answer to the question was other than to keep repeating that God said not to do it – and then believing that this answer, while true, is good enough to answer the question I asked them.

Which, of course, it isn’t and I’ve told them that and, damn, it really is amazing to watch them argue that I’m wrong – then to watch the look on their face when I’ve come right back and asked, “If I’m wrong, why are there so many people who like to have sex the same way I do in the world?  Huh?  You say it’s not supposed to happen… but it does happen and I’m surprised that you’re incapable of understanding that – I thought you were smarter.”

After a while, I got tired of saying, in some way or another, “What part of I just like doing it didn’t you understand?”  After a while, I got tired of having other men ranting, raving and, sometimes, issuing veiled threats as they thumped their chests and loudly proclaimed that real men don’t suck cock… but a glance at their crotch would say something entirely different and, yeah, I actually got tired of asking them, “If this is such a bad thing for men to do, um, why is your dick hard?  Care to explain that to me?” – and then watching them backpedaling and sputtering trying to explain that it just got hard on its own, that the conversation we were having really didn’t excite them in any way… yeah, sure it didn’t, fella.

When you get tired of constantly explaining yourself and your sexuality, you just stop doing it because, for one, you don’t have to explain yourself to anyone if you don’t care to and, for another, if the person asking you about being bisexual doesn’t understand what the word means and implies, well, it sucks to be them, doesn’t it?  You get tired of trying to be polite or otherwise politically correct about it; you get tired of trying to explain that being bisexual is not the same as being homosexual; what part of me telling you that I love pussy didn’t you understand?

After a while, you just want to absent yourself from this ongoing cluelessness, this constant state of denial that so many people have as they continue to believe that it’s just not possible for man to love sex with a woman as well as with a man.  After a while, you get to understand that it’s not your fault that they can’t or don’t understand it; you understand that they continue to have fears about “crossing that line,” fears that you no longer have and the reason you don’t have them is that it doesn’t make sense to have them.  After a while, you just get tired of being constantly reminded that you, in fact, know a lot more about sex than the people questioning your sexuality… and you get tired of shaking your head in some form of sadness over their abject lack of understanding something that is so much a part of being human.  After a while, you get tired of the questions and get tired of asking this particular question:  “Do you really wanna find out what it’s like?” or saying to them, “Well, if you really wanna know, take your pants off…” or “If you don’t believe that I enjoy pussy and dick, let’s go to your crib and have sex with your woman – and then you can find out for yourself just how real and possible it all is…”

After a while, you get tired of laughing at them, either within the privacy of your mind or, yeah, right in their clueless faces; after a while, you get tired of understanding that they do not – they cannot – understand that it’s just sex, just one of many ways to achieve orgasm and to ejaculate; you get tired of constantly poking more holes in their tattered logic and pointing out to them that what they think they know is just about as incorrect as anything can get; you are so tired of this that you become surly and to the point where you start to tell them, “It’s not my fault that you don’t have the courage to do it…” and, sometimes, you get tired of giving them a much-deserved beat-down because their civility has deserted them, giving them reason to assault you and all because they can’t handle the truth.

If you don’t know why someone like me would enjoy sucking another man’s cock, why don’t you go find out for yourself so you can stop asking me questions that you really – and obviously – don’t want to hear the answers to?  You wanna know what it feels like to have a man’s dick in your ass?  Only one way to find out, right, so go for it so you can find your own answers – after a while, I just get so tired of trying to explain it.  It’s one thing if you really do want to know because you believe that you might be like me and you’re looking for more information… but to keep asking me because you don’t believe that men should be doing these things to each other?

After a while, you just get tired and run out of patience; you develop a zero-tolerance policy against the dumb shit, against the prejudice and sheer lack of understanding; you become proof against those smarmy, holier-than-thou attitudes of the righteously religious and those folks who dare to question your manliness by confusing you with a homosexual man.  You feel sorry for them; you can even laugh at them because you know beyond any doubt whatsoever that they just do not get it.  After a while – and after being good and tired – you just sigh and go on about your life because at the end of any day, that’s all you can really do…

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Posted by on 13 September 2015 in Today's Bisexual Thoughts


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