…we were either sinners or saints as we explored the world we had been born into while trying to learn the rules we were expected to abide by in order to grow up into productive, responsible adults. As we learned the rules of the road, we either understood them and promised to abide by them at all times… or we, in our infinite lack of wisdom, deemed them to be silly, a load of adult nonsense that just didn’t make sense and more so when we were being told not to do something that we didn’t know existed: Sex.
The warnings were many and dire, the penalties for disobeying both severe and baffling because we were told of dark portents and of a time that we could just not imagine; we were told to never do this, don’t even think about doing that and, for good measure, you’d better not even think about this sex thing until we were old enough – and responsible enough – to handle it. Some of us chose to abide by these mysterious rules, our parents doing a very good job of putting the fear of God – and of them – in us because you just didn’t want to find out what “or else” meant and compliance was simple: If you didn’t like being punished, it just makes sense not to do anything to bring parental wrath down on your head or, really, your tender backside.
But there were some of us who merely paid lip service when we “agreed” to abide by these rules, our fertile and impressionable minds already trying to figure out what this sex thing was that caused our parents to be so serious and threatening… and to the point where a truism was visited upon us: If you tell a child not to do something, you just gave them carte blanche to do it. Some of us dove into the discovery of sex with gleeful abandon as we learned or even were taught that if we used our fingers to grip that thing between our legs – and that thing we were told not to mess with – and move it up and down, the most pleasant of feelings would be delivered unto us and we reveled in them along with the amazing spectacle of that thing between our legs going from being soft to hard.
Our curiosity ran wild within us and, along with something we’d later learn to be peer pressure, we shared this amazing discovery with our male friends, comparing the shape, size and even color of our things with our equally curious friends. We were bold… or “encouraged” to be bold and touched each other’s things and found this to be even more pleasurable, leaving us to wonder exactly why we were being told not to do what we were blissfully doing. And somewhere along the line – and by some method that is quite understandable – we learned that if we were to put each other’s things in our mouths, it felt really good, just as we mysteriously learned that even more pleasure could be had if we were to insert our hard things into that place we were told to never touch because of the stuff that came out of that place.
Which didn’t stop us from doing that which we were told to never do; we reveled in the sheer naughtiness of doing it, rejoicing in the feelings of orgasm, a word we would learn much later but could experience in the here and now. If you were of a certain age, however, you would experience a great increase in that really good feeling; your heart would start pounding, you would experience a great sense of confusion and all these strange feelings would reach their apex and everything would seem to stop for a moment, even your ability to breathe… and then a rush of indescribable pleasure would wash over you and maybe, just maybe, you would notice that your thing was jerking uncontrollably and if you happened to be moving it up and down with your hand or fingers, you notice something spurting from the top of your thing, something very warm and of a yellowish-white color… and it was rather sticky.
Maybe you knew what this stuff was, maybe you were totally in the dark about it but it didn’t take much to figure out that if you used your hands or fingers, if you put your thing in another guy’s mouth or his butt hole and moved everything around long enough, you could once again experience those good but scary feelings and have that stick stuff shooting out. You began to learn that some of the guys who’d join you in this new and exciting thing liked the stuff that shot out of you; they liked it in their mouth because it tasted good or liked to feel it as you shot it into their butts and they, just like you, wanted more of it and, yes, we were even bold enough – or “encouraged” to be bold enough – to be on the receiving end of that sticky, messy stuff as well, taking it into our mouths if we were okay with the taste and how it felt in our mouth, or in our butts and just because it would wind up feeling good after we got over that initial moment of pain and queasiness that we felt as the other guy’s thing was pushed into that really tight hole.
We would keep doing this, mostly because it felt good, mostly because this was one of the things we were told never to do and that God would strike us dead for doing these things to other boys and faster than He would if we were to do these things with girls, something we also learned could be a lot of fun if said girls weren’t so afraid to do it, that is. When we were young, some of us found out that doing this sex thing with both boys and girls was just a fun thing to do and we’d often go out of our way to do this sex thing as often as possible and with anyone who wanted to do it as well.
When we were young, we were told of the risks and even though we did understand them to a certain extent, we were just too carefree, just too curious and, yes, sometimes, just too reckless to give a hoot about these risks, things that we’ve heard has been happening to other people but, nah, it’ll never happen to us. Still, we were as careful as possible to keep our exploration into this sex thing a secret from our parents and other adults because we had heard of and maybe even seen what happened to our friends who got caught doing the sex thing with a girl or a boy… and we sure as heck didn’t want what happened to them happening to us. We knew we were breaking a lot of the rules we were told never to break and especially the ones about having sex and, yes, some of us even broke those rules with boys or girls who were related to us; this would create a great sense of fear in us but fear that would excite some of us because this particular thing was the most terrible rule to break and one carrying the most severe of punishments… but that just made this sex thing that much more exciting to do.
When we were young, eh, some of us just didn’t give a fuck about the rules even though there were those who’d tease, ridicule, and even beat us up because we liked doing the sex thing with boys even though some of the people who’d torment us were secretly still doing the same things we were doing and, yes, sometimes, with us. We didn’t care about the rules… but how our peers saw us was something we did care about so some of us became extra careful to hide the fact that we liked having sex with boys and girls and just letting everyone think that we were exactly like them and would only have sex with girls; it was just easier and even less hazardous to just give the appearance of going along with the way everyone else was having sex: We learned to keep it all secret except to those who shared our secret.
When we were young, we learned something about life that many people just rejected as being wrong, dirty, and sinful. When we were young, we didn’t understand the implications… but we were learning them as well and almost all of them were, to put it mildly, very bad… but even this didn’t deter us from the wonders and pleasures of sex with both boys and girls, not just because it felt so good…
It was because it just made sense. As we got older, some of us gave up these pleasures, only to revisit them because despite what we had learned and despite how the world around us reacted to such things, being able to have sex with men and women still made good sense to us; it still felt good and natural to be able to indulge ourselves in these sinful pleasures, returning us to a time when we were young, carefree and bold enough to do all those things we know we shouldn’t do.