I had just finished wishing my oldest first cousin a happy 59th birthday, my mind going back to when we were children and celebrated our birthdays together; I also thought about the family members who have birthdays this week, including my twin cousins who share my birthdate, my two grandsons who have birthdays on the 24th and 26th respectively as well as a niece whose birthday is on the 26th.
Yeah, September was a busy month for having babies in my family…
After wishing my cousin yet another happy birthday, the thought popped into my head that today, I’m 59 years, 363 days old and considering that a lot of people don’t get to be this old, I reminded myself of how fortunate I am to be alive so my son-in-law can keep poking me about how old I’m getting. In a flash, I thought about all that I’ve experienced to date and, wow, I’ve done some shit, haven’t I? I thought about where I am at this moment, thought about how lucky I was to have survived the stroke I had on top of having that potentially fatal aneurysm discovered and repaired. I thought about my brother and my sister, who will never celebrate being 60 and that, all by itself, reminds me that life is a lot more unfair than we believe it to be.
As I started to write this, I wondered just what kind of trouble I can get myself into now, you know, being pretty much a senior citizen; I laughed to myself when I thought that whenever I screwed something up, I can legitimately claim that it was a senior moment… but, most of all, I asked myself if I’ve been enjoying my life up to this point and what, if anything, I can do to keep enjoying life to the fullest extent possible. I can answer the first part easily enough: It’s been such a rush over the years, experiencing all the joys, all the setbacks, and whatever else life decided to throw at me and, overall, it’s an indescribable joy to be able to wake up every morning and to have a new day to experience in some way. As to the second part, well, that all remains to be seen because as Captain Spock said to Admiral Kirk, “There are always possibilities…”
I just now thought about all the other birthdays I’ve celebrated and those where someone asked me what I planned to do with my life and the fact that I had a plan albeit one that was always being edited and readjusted; I had goals to be accomplished, tasks that had to be started and finished over the prior 59 years, 363 days, and while I did my very best to work the plan, it’s now all about what I plan to do going forward. The plan I spent so much time on was complicated, complex, and sometimes more convoluted than I could have ever imagined… but the plan now is to just keep enjoying life. It sounds simple – well, simpler than the original plan – and that really works for me; I have a lot of fun doing a whole lot of nothing these days; it’s not exactly coasting or being on cruise control but it’s really about having the time to do something if/when I care to do it, as opposed to all those times in the past where shit had to be shuffled around, rearranged, discarded as unviable, or filed away under “Wishful Thinking,” you know, all that shit you’d just love to do but just can’t see a way to ever get it done… but, damn, it would be nice just the same.
There’s now just two goals: To live as long as possible and to have all the fun I can in the process. I am grateful for my life; I have my health, such as it is, my mind is sound (depending who you ask about that one), and I have Linda in my life and that’s a blessing all by itself. We’ll just see how things continue to go, won’t we? I’ll just keep moving forward because, as another line in a movie I like puts it, “I ain’t heard no fat lady singing!”