Once we – the kids I grew up with – discovered the “joys” of sex, man, the rush to have it was contagious, from privately getting your dick hard and doing that jerking off thing to those moments when we’d all congregate and sex would, eventually, wind up on the menu. You just couldn’t wait for that next time to come around and, um, I can’t honestly say that we were all that picky about who we were doing it with; even that kid you never seemed to really get along with was a lot more acceptable when the clothes came off and it was time to do the nasty…and if the girls were around and wanted to do it, so much the better.
You just got up for it, literally and figuratively; you could have been having a rather shitty day but that would all change the moment you walked into wherever everyone was gathering because you could feel the sexual tension in the air and, sometimes, you could even smell it as all the horny motherfuckers doused the room with pheromones. Hell, doing the nasty could have been the very last thing on your mind but feeling that tension and that heady, musky smell of sexual excitement would make getting rid of your clothes and diving into things a very high priority, well, once someone got bold enough to get things started, that is. Everyone would be just standing around, the anticipation making everyone jumpy and very eager for the festivities to begin; I can remember a lot of times when my impatience would start to get the best of me and I’d be a whole second away from asking, “Who wants to do the nasty?” – but someone else would always ask the question before I could open my mouth… and then it would be on.
As children, shit, the way we went about having sex with each other would put today’s swingers to shame; it didn’t matter who you were doing it with as long as you were doing it even though pretty much everyone had their favorite person to do the nasty with but, um, since that was pretty much everyone who was brave (and horny) enough to be there, getting “settled in” was rarely a problem unless, of course, two people had the same favorite and both were there to have fun with them – but it was a problem that, more often than not, was easily solved; if you had to wait your turn, it wasn’t like you’d be left out in the cold while waiting or, what would happen most of the time, the two people vying for their favorite would agree that all three of them can do it together.
It wasn’t unusual for me to be dick-deep in someone and have someone dick-deep in my ass or humping my mouth; it wasn’t unusual to see large daisy chains of oral sex forming and it didn’t make a difference if there was a dick or a pussy right there in your face; if it was there, you put your mouth on it, plain and simple and any hesitation to do so would be met with a response that only kids can bring to the table, that brutal form of peer pressure that, today, can make an angry adult look calm by comparison. Then again, if you were not of a mind to do the nasty, you wouldn’t be allowed to be there with us in the first place – hanging out with us wasn’t for the scardy-cats… even though every last one of us basked in the fear of getting caught; shit, if you weren’t afraid of getting caught, you just weren’t living!
I think back to those early days and say to myself, “Wow, we just didn’t give a fuck about a lot of shit, not like we tend to do as adults!” Guys would suck dick, girls would eat pussy, and no one gave it a second thought; if a girl was really afraid of “getting into trouble” – but she wanted to have sex – she’d offer up her ass and insist that you shoot your stuff in that hole – everyone just understood that if that sticky stuff went into that hole, a girl couldn’t get in trouble and a suspicious parent could take her to a doctor to be checked and would find no evidence of her being sexually active. Indeed, when you think about how difficult it can be to get a girl to suck your dick these days, shit, for us and in this time, a girl would gladly suck your dick and not risk getting her pussy creamed.
We’d get “new members” who’d somehow hear about the fun we would be having and they’d want in on the action or, sometimes, they might not believe that a bunch of us were doing the one thing the adults told us to never do so they wanted to see it for themselves although, admittedly, um, they rarely remained as observers. If we had rules, they were simple: Never tell an adult what we’re doing and if you weren’t willing to do everything that everyone else was doing, you couldn’t hang out with us… and, yes, you did have to prove yourself worthy of doing the nasty with us… and not very many new kids passed the “ultimate” test but the ones who did would wind up catching the “sex fever” right along with the rest of us.
As boys, it was true that if we couldn’t find something constructive to do, ah, chances were great that we’d wind up getting into some kind of trouble… except, with us, when we’d get into trouble, it wasn’t because we were breaking out someone’s windows or vandalizing stuff or running around terrorizing the other kids. Nah, if you got any of us together and we were bored out of our minds, the dicks would come out fairly quickly once someone asked, “What do you guys want to do?” and no one could come up with anything we could all agree upon… but we could all agree to suck and fuck each other until we wore ourselves out. Today, I look back at those moments and laugh because I can clearly see that in those moments, no one really tried to suggest an alternative to having sex with each other; if we were hanging out and there was “nothing” to do, well, let’s do the nasty! And, yes, it would jump off even if there were only two us; we’d meet up outside and go through the whole, “What do you want to do?” thing and wind up somewhere “private” to do the nasty. With all the abandoned and boarded up places in the neighborhood, finding a place to do it was easy and getting into them a piece of cake and, once inside, we would literally spend hours fucking and sucking each other until the urge to do the nasty went away… for that moment, anyway.
I can remember too many times when I had to “sneak” into the apartment we lived in and hit the bathroom so I could wash up and then try to hide my underwear because it sopped up all the sperm that would eventually wind up leaking out of my ass,well, whatever there was that didn’t get wiped away before heading home. Today, wow, I wonder why my parents, who did the laundry, never asked me why my underwear would be stiff and crusty; maybe they noticed it, maybe they didn’t and, honestly, I am glad that neither of them ever questioned me about it. Likewise, I wondered why they’d never call me out on the carpet whenever I came home smelling like sex; shit, if I could smell it, they had to be able to smell it! Well, one time, I came home reeking of sex and my father looked at me really hard and asked, “You ain’t out there doing something you shouldn’t be doing, are you, boy?” And I did what any kid would do in that situation: Lied my ass off and told him that I’d just been outside running around and stuff. Maybe he knew or suspected, maybe he didn’t and, yeah, just thinking about the possibility of getting grilled about what I’d really been doing was, often, scary enough to make my stomach queasy and my guts watery… which didn’t seem to deter me from doing the nasty whenever the opportunity arose.
It didn’t seem to deter a lot of us One very boring summer day, I sucked off nine guys, one right after the other – and then let those same nine guys fuck me… and it was all so good and nasty but not without a price or two, like my having swallowed so much sperm it made me throw up (no one laughed) and after they all unloaded in my butt, I had a very difficult time sitting down later and my amazement to find myself shitting out sperm… but it was worth it and more so when it was time for another guy to take my place. Like I said, we would have sex with each other that would make adults cringe; being part of a gang-bang was just a matter of course and one that most of us looked forward to… because it was yet another opportunity to do the nasty. Yep, quite a few of the girls wanted to be the object of our lust, taking on every guy there – and then rightfully brag that they took us all on… and wore us the fuck out but, as you might expect, not all of the girls were willing to let a bunch of guys line up to do the nasty to her; sometimes, all the girls would go to the other side of whatever room we were in and put on a pussy-eating demonstration that would just blow your mind and, of course, give us guys more incentive to have sex with each other.
No remorse, no shame, very little real fear, and not much in the way of inhibitions. For us, this was such a common and ordinary thing for us to do and I know I’d often be surprised to learn that not “everyone” was doing what we were doing; to run into someone who hadn’t done the nasty was just… weird. I think about the times when I’d get into a fight with someone for, say, talking about my mother, and we’d beat each other up pretty good… and then turn around maybe an hour later and be doing the nasty with each other, having totally forgotten why we had been fighting earlier but, then again, having a chance to do the nasty pretty much trumped other considerations. As these moments roll through my mind, yeah, I find it amazing how I could be pissed with someone one moment and be enjoying having sex with them the next moment; today, if I’m pissed with you, well, let’s just say you wouldn’t like it.
I realize that I grew up in an environment where doing the nasty was easy to do and, no, I honestly couldn’t blame any parents for a lack of diligence or not giving a fuck what we were doing; the almost constant warnings about the evils of sex served to remind all of us of the consequences of getting caught doing anything that looked like sex; quite a few guys related tales of the hell they caught when they got busted jerking off. It was often quite funny to hear an adult telling us we shouldn’t be having sex because we didn’t know what we were doing… and I’m almost sure that some of us knew more about having sex than they did and were almost certainly having more sex than they were. We knew the dangers of getting a girl in trouble – the biggest warning us boys would get right along with the admonishment to keep it in our pants; we knew – and because a few of us had gotten busted for it – that if you were a boy and got caught doing the nasty with another boy, fuck, you would have made out better knocking a girl up and, as I’ve mentioned before, some of the beatings handed out were legendary for the unlucky guys.
So, no – it wasn’t like we didn’t know that we shouldn’t be doing the nasty… it just didn’t seem to do much to stop us from doing it. I can easily remember lying on my stomach with some guy’s dick moving in and out of my ass and him saying, “You know, if we ever got caught…” – and feeling the real fear of getting caught but instead of that fear making us cease and desist, um, it just made what we were doing more exciting. I’d done the nasty with a lot of guys who have said, at some point, “We shouldn’t be doing this!” – and while we were doing that which we both knew we shouldn’t be doing. One guy said to me one day, “I know I shouldn’t want to suck your dick… but I’m gonna do it anyway because it makes me feel good!” Even I would be in the middle of doing something and the thought would cross my mind that what me and the other guy were doing could get us into more trouble than we could imagine… but, um, well, if you were already doing it, it didn’t make sense to stop doing it… but if the thought or even the words were spoken before the fact, nah, again, it wasn’t much of a deterrent. We were all old enough to know better but we were also all old enough to know that doing the nasty was just too much fun and, basically, worth any trouble we could get into which, of course, is so easy to say when you could do it and not get into trouble, right? The trick of it was always about doing it and not getting caught and subsequently punished for our transgressions… and most of us were quite good at not getting caught.
Because if you liked doing the nasty, you just found ways to do it and avoid the wrath of some potentially pissed-off adults and parents. It was becoming more and more difficult to convince a girl to give you some pussy; if you couldn’t sing or dance or didn’t have good hair, nice clothes, stuff like that, the chances of you getting some pussy were slim. If your dick was deemed to be too big, you weren’t getting any; ditto if your dick was determined to be too small. If you weren’t into eating pussy, well, you sure as hell wasn’t going to get a chance to fuck it unless you happened to run into a girl who didn’t like or want to be eaten – but that was rare. Ah, but if getting your rocks off with another guy wasn’t that big of a deal for you, that worked and you didn’t even have to jump through all those hoops girls would put in place, either. I’d often be surprised at how many guys would, publicly, talk big shit against any dude who’d have sex with another dude… but if they couldn’t get any pussy, they’d be singing a very different song privately. Guys who would incessantly chirp about how they’d never let another guy suck their dick or how they’d never fuck another dude would “mysteriously” be all for doing those things – and more – because, yeah, one’s image and reputation was something that had to be protected at all costs… but not so much when that lack of pussy left you with few options.
I mean, seriously, I found it quite interesting and often funny when the toughest dude in the neighborhood – and the one making the most noise about not doing “that gay shit” would be eating my dick like it was his last meal or moaning with great delight as I plowed his ass – but, oh, yeah, I’d better not even think about telling anyone about it! Not that I would tell and it’s kinda funny to be threatening the guy who has his dick in your ass already. And, yeah, he could be one of the lucky guys who could get some pussy which didn’t mean a whole lot when you wanted some dick. Things went from doing it because there was nothing else better to do to doing it because that lack of pussy would just drive you doing it with another guy… and a lot of guys were like me in that they never “grew out of” wanting to do it with another guy, that and being able to do it a guy or a gal just made a lot of sense and more so when the sources of pussy would just vanish and that manly need to have sex wouldn’t go away. There were a lot of guys (in particular) who’d get with another guy because of the drought and say, “Man, I thought I outgrew this shit!” As a teen, I don’t know how many times I’d be hanging out with the fellas and someone would just pull their dick out and start jerking off while telling everyone how much they would love to have their dick sucked.
It was kinda bothersome to hear guys begging and pleading for another guy to have sex with them – but, again, these were the same guys who’d try their best to kick your ass if you even joked with them about sex with another guy. I’d often think about how things went from guys doing guys as a matter of course to having to beg for this form of release, let alone see them having to beg a girl to give up the box. It was hard for me to understand how some guys went from being shameless and fearless about getting some dick to being desperate for it… but I got to understand it: That drive to do the nasty continued to trump all other considerations. It was just easier to throw down with a guy than it was to convince a girl that you’d respect them after the fact or that you weren’t just going to fuck them and leave them in the dust
Your image and reputation meant little when getting some dick was on the table. I continued to see a lot of guys who, on the surface, were homophobic… unless I had my mouth on their dick or they were able to dump a load of cum in my ass or be on the receiving end of my own load. I’d even have guys ask me – after the fact – “Man, how can you just do this shit and not feel bad about it?” and the answer, for me, was easy: I never had a reason to feel bad about it because fucking a girl or doing the nasty with a guy was second nature to me. Sucking dick and eating pussy was all the same to me – just another chance to do the nasty and delight in all the fun it provided. Yeah, I’d hear all the shit being said about such things – and a lot of it is still being said today… but I learned a long time ago not to be surprised when someone who’d be riffing about how nasty and dirty is was for two dudes to do it would “suddenly” change their minds about it; Mr. “I Would Never Suck Dick!” would be sucking on mine while getting his sucked; Mr. “I Would Never Let Another Dude Fuck Me In The Ass!” would be under me and, yeah, egging me on to cum in his ass because it felt so good. Anyone who believed that all Black men were homophobic just really didn’t know the truth… but I did. Oh, to be sure, a lot of guys were actually homophobic… but not all of them, well, again, not privately…
Ah, man… the things I learned. I often write about these things so I can see my evolution and to understand my sexuality. Sometimes, wow, I just gotta shake my head and say to myself, “Man, you did a lot of shit back then…” I write about it so those folks who don’t quite understand why a guy would love pussy and dick can get an idea of just how that can happen. Sure, a lot of guys are like me but didn’t have my kind of experiences but, as I love saying these days, it’s about understanding why a guy would love both and not so much what he might be doing. Why would a guy want to have sex with another guy? Because it’s sex – it’s a chance to do the nasty, plain and simple; maybe for them getting pussy is a nigh impossible thing to do, maybe they’re just continuing a behavior that lots of men actually do outgrow; maybe for them, they’re just now realizing and/or understanding that getting naked with another guy and doing whatever really isn’t as horrific as everyone says it is. Ha, being bisexual brings a very new meaning to the phrase, “I like having sex!” because it really doesn’t matter if the person we’re having sex with is a guy or a gal because it’s still sex. You get to understand a few things, like, if you like getting your dick sucked, it doesn’t really matter if the person who’s sucking you has a dick that’s begging to be sucked; you understand that fucking a woman in the ass isn’t all that different from doing the same thing to a guy and, yeah, as I say over and over, you can understand what it’s like to be fucked… provided you can summon up the courage to lie down and let another man slide his hard dick into your ass.
If you ever wondered why some people just love to suck cock, well, you can get the chance to find out for yourself just how much fun – and how personally satisfying – it can be… and all because it’s yet another chance to do the nasty and in a way that’s still quite prohibited. The sex is what it is but I still think that the most important thing is what you can learn from being bisexual and, man, it’s a lot to learn and, no, you never really stop learning no matter how deep your experiences go. Guys doing the nasty with guys isn’t always about love and romance even though a lot of people seem to think that love and romance must be present, even in gay men… and sometimes it is… but I’d have to say that in the majority of times, nah, love and romance has nothing to do with it and even that can take a back seat when doing the nasty is the thing that’ll best serve the purpose.
I publicly write about this from time to time, not with the purpose of turning anyone on or even making anyone feel disgusted – I do it because, as I said, there are a lot of people who don’t understand it as well as there are people who do want to understand it. I just love being bisexual; I cherish the path I took in this and not because of the wild and crazy sex I was having so, yeah, when I write – or ramble – about it, man, it’s such a rush to be able to understand and appreciate an aspect of sex that most people are deathly afraid of. I had no shame about doing the nasty back then, and I sure as hell don’t have any shame about it now so when I write about this, I want people to see and understand – if they can – that there’s really no shame in loving women and pussy and being able to enjoy sex with a man. So many people make a fuss about bisexuality being a choice or not being one when the truth, as I understand it, is that bisexuals choose not to put too many restrictions on their sexual and even emotional pleasure. Yeah, yeah, the actual person does factor into things and all that happy shit but outside of that, getting a heaping helping of pussy and/or dick is really no big deal, not if you really love sex as much as you may profess because sometimes it just really comes down to being able to do the nasty.
I write about this so I can see how I’ve changed over the years and admit to myself that, um, I haven’t changed a whole lot and I’m still just as shameless about it today as I was way back when I first got into it. Yep… I’d do a lot more thinking before the fact; I wouldn’t just “mindlessly” do it like I did when I was much younger but, yeah, if I decide to go for it, I’m going for it because it’s all about doing the nasty and expressing myself. It’s about pleasing and being pleased and, yep, a man’s cock can serve that purpose just as well as a woman’s pussy can. If that makes me stereotypically greedy, well, I guess I’ve always been guilty – how can there be such a thing as too much sexual pleasure? Why just limit the source of that pleasure ?
As I try to finish this, Jesus, I was just rambling… but when I start writing what’s going on in my head, eh, I guess it can sound pretty fucked up. So many people have issues with bisexuality; they fear it, they don’t understand it, or just find it unacceptable and the dirty, nasty, immoral behavior it has always been chalked up to be… and it’s just people being able to get the most out of their sexual experiences and desires as humanly possible and still be a decent person about it. I’ve had decades to analyze being bisexual and while there are a lot of pitfalls, it’s not all that unusual if you can consider all of the things that can possibly go wrong when you combine people and sex. Here of late, we want to romanticize bisexuality and maybe because it makes it more… palatable and easier to justify our actions against the mandate to always be heterosexual and while I would never discount the romantic aspects of being bi, sometimes – and maybe most of the time – it’s about the sex and, if nothing else, proving to yourself that you are unwilling to put a lot of restrictions on your sexual pleasure.
Now I gotta finish the other thing I started writing yesterday…