Well, Duh…!

02 Nov

A few days ago, I was going through an app for a site that I’ve been a member of so long that if I had to log into that site, chances are I wouldn’t remember my username and password for it.  Anyway, I’m clearing out the “tweet-like” messages that appear there 24/7 with people just saying whatever happens to be on their mind when I noticed that a lot of the items I was getting rid of were from women who were complaining about men always wanting to fuck them and with sentiments ranging from, “Is that all the f*ck you dudes think about?” to what I’d call the usual sentiments about valuing women beyond what their bodies have to offer and even a couple of sentiments that would suggest that access to their bodies comes with some consideration about financial remuneration.

As I cleared the last of the messages I found myself shrugging and thinking that while there are a lot of things in life that can be considered to be generational, the angst women have regarding their role in the cycle of life hasn’t changed much in my memory.  Now, ladies who are reading this, put away the rolling pins, frying pans, and other potentially dangerous things; I am not a misogynist, a male chauvinistic pig, or whatever other negative epitaph that might come to mind so if what I’m about to say offends you, please, don’t let it offend you – I’m just making an observation, okay?


So, I guess about ten minutes later, I was flipping through Tumblr and, yes, taking in all the eye candy that manages to find its way to me; I see women… lots of women… women of all shapes, sizes, colors, etc., and either tastefully nude, crudely nude, fully clothed, and in more, ah, sexual situations than the Kama Sutra, both, um, professionally and not so much, just women loving the skin they’re in and all that good shit.

My mind flashed back to what I had been doing and the complaints those women were lodging about being seen more as sexual objects than anything else and I thought, “Well, why in the name of God do you think this is?  You were made for sex, from the top of your heads to the bottoms of your feet!  Your whole body was designed to attract us, from the size of your breasts, to the shape of your ass and hips and, yeah, you’re damned right, right down to that place that is so coveted and desired that it just isn’t funny!”

Yes, yes, I know – and because, like many guys, I had no choice but to learn this – that women have value beyond the allure of their bodies and that your minds are just as valuable; what’s going on inside your heads can be equally attractive which, at least to me (I ain’t gonna speak for any other guy in this), just adds to your overall allure and is a clear sign that you’re more than just a means to an end… which doesn’t mean that we wouldn’t want to screw you every chance we get.  Sorry, ladies, but that’s just the way it’s always been… but I’m not telling you anything you didn’t know already, am I?

I took a moment to recall this one woman holding forth about all the decent brothers who are out there on the DL and, as she put it, “being all thuggish and laying the pipe to each other…” and I thought – and, ladies, it came unbidden so put the knives away – “Well, if y’all wasn’t so funny about giving up the booty, ya might never have to worry about something like this causing you any emotional discomfort…”  And, yeah, I actually commented back to her with these exact words and as far as I know, she hasn’t deigned to say anything in return and a part of me was wishing that she had said something along the lines that I would have found to be a “typical” response to such a comment.

Do a lot of us know that you’re more than just a piece of ass, that means to a messy end?  Yes, we do and, as a matter of fact, it’s a lesson most of us learn before we even become sexually active and start chasing after you, that women have to be cherished, valued, and just treated right because if you don’t or can’t do these things, guess what’s not gonna happen?  We learn that it’s not really “He who has the gold makes the rules;” it’s more like “She who has the pussy makes the rules” and it’s not like y’all don’t know this… just like there are a lot of women who just will not ever let us guys forget this very important fact.

It is what it has always been… but one of the things that always gets me scratching my head (or beating it against a wall) are those women who almost constantly complain about not being able to find a man who will love and cherish them as the human being they are… but, in the same breath, will also make it known that if you even think you’re gonna get a whiff of her coochie, well, you can forget that shit right off the bat.  Some of these women are of the variety that they are so damned hot and sexy, celibate priests want to fuck them and, yeah, that’s seeing women with their clothes on, mind you; just like with food, we eat with our eyes first and what we see of a woman greatly lends itself to that all important first impression and, yes, ladies, I’m not gonna lie to you:  That first impression is either, “Damn, I wanna do her!” or it can be, “I wouldn’t fuck her with my worst enemies’ dick!”  Again, it is what it is, what it’s always has been because beauty is in the eye of the beholder.

One woman commented, “If I could get the right man for me without any sex being involved, I’d be happier…” and, well, again I’ll apologize but if you’ve ever wondered why men think women are insane, this comment pretty much tells you why.  I’m almost willing to bet that this woman – and like a lot of women I’ve heard utter sentiments like this – would, at some point, start to wonder why the guy she’s dating ain’t trying to screw her brains out.  Well, um, duh, could it be due to the fact that you’ve voiced a great dislike for being handled like a sex toy?  Once again, this always reminds me of an old Bill Cosby (before he got on everyone’s shit list) routine where Eve kept saying to Adam, “Come here, come here, come here, oh, no!  Get away, get away, get away!  Wait, come here!  No!  Get away!”

I got to thinking about the one woman who commented, “Sh*t, I might as well be a lesbian!” and I guessed that she had expressed this because she was having some problems getting some dick; I also thought, looking at her picture, that she was quite pretty… but I was also reminded that while beauty is only skin deep, ugly can be very deep to the bone so I was wondering just how many men were trying to get with her like that… until she opened her mouth and started talking?  And then I wondered – and as I tend to do when I see women saying things like this – if the thought ever occurred to her that she’s not getting the cock she needs because she’s going out of her way to make sure she doesn’t get any?

On Tumblr, this woman wrote a rather long, convoluted story – and with pictures that visualized her reactions (none of them what I would call good) about this guy who was begging her to suck his dick.  She admitted that when she did blow him, she had him crying for his mama (and anyone else who might have been able to help him) and, well, she was fairly bragging about how good her cock sucking skills were… while wondering why this “scrub” was trying to get more of the same from her.  I commented, “Well, if you weren’t so good at doing that, you’d never have to worry about dudes coming back for more, would you?”  Oh, yeah, and this particular woman is fond of putting up posts that speak to how much she wants and needs to get laid, anytime, anywhere – but how that’s not happening enough to make and keep her happy.

She commented back to me, too, saying, “Yeah, you’re right, but I’m more than just a damned good cocksucker…”

And I just laughed softly to myself along with the obligatory eye rolls.  I closed Tumblr and opened another app to check on my game progress… but my original thought – women are made for sex – persisted.  I thought, as I played my game, about our built-in biological imperative to make babies; I thought about how humans are among the elite of the entire animal kingdom because we like to have sex just because it feels so damned good to do it and not solely for the purpose of procreation.  I thought about how men and women are raised with differing views on the whole sex thing and how social norms (read this as part of our morality on the issue) just sets us at odds with each other about this.  Yep, ladies, I do know that our need to screw you (and just because we wanna screw you) can make us do some pretty fucked up shit in order to accomplish that goal; as a bisexual man, I am all too aware of what a dude will do or say to accomplish the task of getting his rocks off so, yeah, I do get some of why y’all are the way you are about giving it up.

I just thought – and not for the first time – that women who complain about guys chasing them for the pussy… but who also turn right around and complain about guys bypassing them for this, well, that’s just some insane shit.  We are told that, in life, you just can’t have it both ways… except, um, women are clearly an exception to a rule that’s been around since God told Adam and Eve to go ye forth and multiply (and she turned him down that very first time and only God Himself knows why she said no).  Yes, I wholeheartedly agree that women have value that goes beyond sex; I get that women want us to feel more than just lust for them and that we should appreciate everything about them… except, us wanting to have sex with you goes along with that… doesn’t it?

According to the women I saw riffing about this, um, apparently not.  As seen on the app I mentioned, there isn’t a day that goes by that there aren’t a lot of women with this angst against sex who are voicing this, ah, schizophrenic point of view, complaining about the lack of sex and complaining about being pursued for sex and all in the same sentence.  Many of them wind up including so many conditions and requirements for getting in between their legs that, honestly, I’m not all that surprised that no one wants to fuck you… because you’re pretty much going out of your way to make sure it doesn’t happen… and, again, they wonder why no one wants what they have to offer?  Yes, I also know that there’s a lot more to this… situation that I haven’t mentioned and I haven’t mentioned them because there’s not enough hours in a day to write about every last nuance around this

It just struck me as being continually odd to see so many women – and on an hourly basis – pitching a bitch about this.  Not all women are comfortable with casual – read this as non-relationship – sex… but there are women who, like some men, just can’t handle being in a relationship so I wondered that if these women who were riffing about this were doing so because of some inability to have sex in the proscribed relationship setting, well, wow, I mean, really?  Intelligently, I’m sure these women know (giving them the benefit of the doubt) that you don’t have to be in a relationship to get laid if and when you need to get laid… but this isn’t an intellectual exercise and I don’t think it ever has been because you can, in theory, get a woman to agree that, intelligently, having sex just makes sense and along a great many lines which include both physical and emotional health concerns… but some will say, “I know, but…” and here comes the emotional reasons why this isn’t such a good idea, from having been used in the past, to fears of being labeled as a slut, and right down to that conditioning women get that says, in some circles, that you just never give up the booty without a damned good reason to give it up which, oddly, doesn’t seem to include giving it up because they do, in fact, need to get laid and if it’s NSA (no strings attached), so much the better (sometimes).

There’s a song, written and performed by a woman, that has in its lyrics, a, um, statement (I guess) that women have to use what they got to get what they want and part of the female mystique for men has been the question, “Well, what do they want?”  That there are women these days who, for who know whatever reasons, believe they can get what they want without giving up the booty just continues to amaze me… and probably a lot of other men, too.  We know – or we should know – that love and sex are not the same things and that they do, in fact, work very well together even though, in reality, they aren’t always mutually inclusive… because that’s just how some people are.  Still, the women I saw riffing about this also said that they need a dude to be into them and more than just for the fruit of their loins and, fine, okay, I can understand that well enough; again, I know that women have value beyond just this… but the question I would universally ask these women – and I think I just might the next time I open that app – is what, exactly, do you think “being into you” really means?  I mean, do these women truly understand that us “being into them” also includes a great desire to fill them up with dick, too?

I would (and might) ask these same women that if you’re all about relationship sex only, why is that when the relationship begins, you’re laying the pussy on homie like there’s no tomorrow… but a couple of months from now, eh, not so much and, yeah, your main complaint is now about this guy who is into you is the fact that he literally wants to be into you in the majority of times?  If those women are, in fact, all about relationship sex only, um, did it ever occur to them that the reason why they’re not in a relationship and kicking holes in the walls and breaking the bed isn’t because there are no men worthy of them… it’s because they’ve created a world for themselves that, for all intents and purposes, makes guys not want to be in a relationship with them, oh, like insisting that they be appreciated for things beyond sex and turning right around and kicking a guy in the nuts for not wanting to lay the pipe to them?

We – men – have come to accept this as a matter of course, that women are “just funny” about this… but sometimes – and I don’t know about other people – I just wonder why no one ever questions this behavior and more so when, at least on the surface, it kinda doesn’t make a lot of sense to (a) complain about dudes (and even women) wanting to fuck you and (b), in the same breath, complain about the lack of sex in their lives.  And before any women reading this gets it into their head to tell me that I just don’t understand it, I will concede that you’re right; not only do I not understand it, I have reason to believe that no one, not even women understand this behavior… which is why I get it in my head to question it at times.

Women are just so deliciously insane and, yeah, sometimes, it’s this insanity – along with your innate beauty – that compels us to want to fuck you beyond that biological imperative to do so.  Women accuse of, and I might add, justifiably so, that all us guys think about is having sex with them… but you were designed for this; everything about you lends itself to our desire to want to screw you and relationship status notwithstanding.  If we – men – are guilty of having that one-track mind, um, well, there’s a reason why we do and it’s because you’re women:  Period.  There’s something about you – your looks, your mind, whatever, that makes us do whatever we gotta do in order to have sex with you… and it’s not that women really have an objection to this… but, yeah, according to those women I’ve been mentioning, there’s clearly an objection that seems to be ingrained in them, huh?

If a woman is both complaining about the fact that guys want to fuck them and, at the same time, complaining about not being able to get fucked, I wonder if she ever really thinks about why this is?  And, if like a few of those women, one is complaining about the lack of sex more than guys hitting on them, um, I wonder if they ever give any thought about what they’d have to change about themselves in order to get laid more often?  Oh, and if they have given it some thought, uh, why haven’t they effected the changes that will get them the sex they say they crave?

I know I’m not the only man to think about this; I’m just the one with the nerve to ask the questions that no one ever seems to want to ask about this and, yes, at the risk of pissing off some women in the process which, I’ll remind you, ladies, isn’t intentional.  It’s just that if women want us to understand them, some really hard questions have to be asked and “I don’t know” really isn’t an acceptable answer because if you – women who riff about this – don’t know, then who does?

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Posted by on 2 November 2015 in Life, Living and Loving


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