One of my Facebook friends posted a picture that showed a woman saying that she didn’t need a man, her daughter saying she didn’t want a man, and a baby boy saying that he didn’t want to be a man; the picture asked about what message can be inferred from this… and what can be inferred is so totally fucked up it isn’t funny.
That the characters depicted were Black makes this whole situation deplorable in my opinion. So, in response to this, I asked what I thought was an obvious question: “So why complain about not having a man?”
Along these lines, an easier thing posted by another Facebook friend said that a strong woman doesn’t need a man… but she wants him unless he fucks up, course – and I paraphrased that for simplicity. I found that I couldn’t completely buy into this sentiment since the word “slacking” was used, a term that’s rather broad and subjective.
And it’s all disturbing and does not speak well of men at all. Historically, we have used any means, fair or foul, to get women and our collective inability to keep any promises made not only makes us liars but has eroded any trust women may have had in us or, as it always seems to be, makes getting a woman almost impossible even when our intentions are honorable and true.
When a woman says that she doesn’t need a man, gentlemen, we have a problem; when that woman passes that sentiment on to her daughter, we have a bigger problem; when a baby boy improbably says he doesn’t want to be a man, we are well and truly fucked. When a woman has to get into narrowing down “want” and “need” when it comes to us, ditto – break out the anal lube because this is gonna hurt.
If a woman doesn’t want a man, it’s because she’s become disillusioned because instead of the man being part of her solution, he becomes part of her problem and let’s face it: Some of us are the problem. Okay,miss also true that some women can’t function in a relationship very well and just makes it hard for a man to want to do right by her thanks to a plethora of conflicting signals, oh, like, “I want and need you to sex me up good!” and then pitching a bitch about him always wanting sex.
We want and, indeed, need to relate… and we always find a way to just fuck it all up and then bitch and whine when we continuously keep getting and doing it wrong – and then we pass that shit to our children, filling their heads with our frustration and disillusionment so that they will grow up expecting failure at every turn and, perhaps subconsciously, doing shit to guarantee failure… so we can whine, bitch, moan and make poisonous statements like the ones I started this writing with.
As I responded to the first thing, this is a disease – and especially among Blacks – that we need to cure because this mentality threatens to destroy our culture and our rich, proud heritage and this threatens our existence as a race of people.
Good men aren’t born; they have to learn to be good men… but whose definition of “good” are we using? Have men today been taught the values that would make them qualify as a good man, beyond having a big dick and knowing how to break a girl’s back and turn her out? The evidence says no; otherwise, there wouldn’t be so many women saying that they don’t need a man because they can truly do badly all by themselves. There wouldn’t be so many women asking, “Where are all the good men?” or, yeah, learning that all the really good men have already been snatched up by other women but, um, by women who seem to be somewhat incapable of keeping that man fully by her side but, yeah, he’s still learned to be as good of a man that’s needed because he learned how to be like that, as strange as it seems.
To this particular end, this is where I remind all of you that despite what you’ve been made to believe, monogamy is terribly flawed; it’s an idea that doesn’t always work in the real world and I don’t care what you say – if it really did work as intended, no one would have problems getting, having, and keeping a mind-blowing relationship that only death can dissolve.
Relationships just don’t happen and then become self-sustaining and if the people involved aren’t willing to do whatever is necessary to keep it working properly, then men wouldn’t have such a high failure rate and now willing to not even try to be good men… and women wouldn’t be saying they don’t need men and/or whining about not being to find one, good or otherwise.
Do you not see the problem here? I do… and it’s sad and dangerously so because our failures are infecting our children with the same bad shot that we allow ourselves to be infected with and, often, because we’re all about what we want to do instead of what we can do; we expect, even subconsciously, a man or woman to fit an ideal picture in our head and one that’s built on faulty data – monogamy or the lies we tell to get what we want that are believed – then we get all out of sorts when reality delivers a different picture.
Yes, many of us get it right; we figure out how to be that good man or the woman who can need and want a man… but I’m not talking about these folks. No, I’m talking about the ones who are all too willing to give up trying; I’m talking about the ones who are so lazy as to expect “The One” to fall out the sky and into their laps; I’m talking about the ones who always find faults in others and without recognizing or acknowledging their own faults when it comes to this necessity of life and, yes, I’m even talking about the one who can see their collusion and complicity in this failure… but never feel that they have to change anything about themselves in order to get the happiness they crave. I’m talking about the ones who have expectations so high that no human yet born could ever hope to reach and then wonder why they fail and/or why they “get treated so bad” when they are, in fact, the sole reason; they not only set themselves up to fail but everyone they try to relate with.
Do you not see the problem? Do you not recognize the diseased mindset that, left untreated, will ultimately be the end of us all? We all have that “I want what I want and the way I want it” thing going on with us but, um, if it’s not exactly that way, do you have what it takes to work with someone who, hopefully, wants to forego “what they want” for “what we can do together” and build something that’s unique and tailored to everyone involved?
It seems, by those Facebook things I mentioned, apparently not because if they were, there would be less people feeling like that. We have the power to get this much needed thing done; we can effect change in something that hasn’t changed since before the time of Christ… but I guess it’s easier to spout such negative and devisive statements than it is to do something about it and just roll over and show our bellies or, yeah, make ourselves unobtainable by drawing thick lines between that which we want and what we need.
Do you not see the problem? Do you not see how we are fucking each other up and future generations of ourselves? When a woman emphatically states that she doesn’t need a man, do you not see the problem here – and it ain’t just about those men she deems unworthy or beneath her? Fellas, it doesn’t help that some us are part of the problem but I dunno know about y’all but when I hear a woman say this, it not only greatly worries me but can diminish my worth as a man because while it’s bad for women to not wants us, it is disastrous when they believe we are no longer needed.
All of this is a threat to our continued existence regardless to race, color, creed, or sexuality orientation/designation: If this keeps up, if this diseased mindset continues to poison and ruin us unchecked and without effecting a cure, we will ultimately face extinction and not one due to our genocidal behavior to make war on each other over differences in ideology.
Whew… what a rant this was…