Sort of a Guest Post

30 Nov

One of my followers, Cityman, wrote this comment to my “Is It Choice?” blog and his words are so powerful, damn, y’all just gotta see it.  So without further ado, here’s what he said:

“This issue has been clouded by the gay community in their “not a choice” advocacy, which is misleading and problematic. It comes across as, “please stop attacking poor little us; we didn’t choose to be afflicted with this condition.” I get that we need the public to empathize and stop viewing it as deliberate sinfulness, but it also places the LGBT community in a victim’s role rather than enforcing a more appropriate message: that these same sex attractions are natural, and there’s nothing inherently wrong with acting on them. In this “not a choice” stance, the gay community creates the unintended consequence of de-legitimizing their sexuality an inferior brand. ”

“Furthermore, we may not be able to control attraction, but we most certainly can choose whether or not to act on it. Sure, for the Kinsey 5s and 6s, being gay is the most comfortable and fulfilling option. But it’s time to stop adhering to a binary, monochromatic, monosexual rules, and let ourselves sit with the richness and complexity that natural sexual attraction offers across a wide spectrum. The sooner we stop victimizing the gay community and branding same sex activities as an inferior disease that we’re helpless to avoid, we can accept that there are valid, equivalent, legitimate choices between genders for sexual and spiritual fulfillment. ”

“Lastly, we have to renegotiate monogamy as the highest civilized standard of human relationships. If anything, it’s a barbaric and arcane form of ownership: it’s extremely limiting and incredibly difficult for many to attain and uphold for a lifetime. I’m not suggesting that we throw it away, but I’m convinced that monogamy is the top reason for why humans struggle with the very natural concept of fluid sexuality and choice. Monogamy masks and hides bisexuality, and demands that we pick a side. ”

“We’d save ourselves a lot of heartache, self-hatred, regrets, and alimony bills if we’d start looking at sexuality and relationships through a more flexible and forgiving lens and worldview…”

Powerful words and one I wish I had thought of…



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