It’s something all bisexuals experience, that internal war between what morals we’ve been taught and our feelings of duality that tells us with initial uncertainty that we find men and women attractive in some way. Some of us are able to mitigate the conflict and see our way clear of the confusion and frustration… but many of us are still struggling with their sexual identity, trying to understand these mixed feelings and doing their best to determine what the best course of action is.
I went through the struggle but later than I think I should have; admittedly, I was too busy have all of the possible sex to be concerned with the moral conflicts that would, eventually, stop me dead in my tracks and seriously think about what I was doing and why. It took me all of three years to end that struggle and not only find the right path for myself but to understand why I was on this path to begin with. Today, I kick myself because it shouldn’t have taken three years to end the struggle… but, yeah, I didn’t know then what I know now. Even though I understand this, I still believe that I was intelligent enough to figure it all out and in a shorter period of time. But that’s not what happened, so…
I sit and read blogs written by folks who are struggling mightily with their sexuality and I always wish that I could somehow transfer the way I ended the struggle to them and give them the needed insight to ease their minds and allow them to be comfortable and accepting. Those of you who are not bisexual, maybe you won’t be able to understand the nature of the struggle, not because you lack the intelligence but because to truly understand it, you must experience it.
Theres the moral aspects which we are all aware of; then there’s the aspect of our thoughts and feelings to contend with and, now, there are the social aspects that must be dealt with because there is so much confusing and conflicting information that, at least in this bisexual’s opinion, creates more questions than answers. Along with this is the barrage of negativity that must be waded through that comes from people who believe that being monosexual is the way we should be – the very tired and annoying request for us to pick a side and stay there. They also run a smear and fear campaign, citing mental and physical ailments that “belong” to us when, in truth, anyone can have these afflictions without sexuality playing a role at all (something they clearly neglect to mention).
I am one voice, writing these blogs on this subject and hoping that they read my words and can use them to find a way to end their struggle. I “preach” self-acceptance above all else right along with the “warning” that just because you feel the way you do, you don’t have to do anything about your feelings if it’s not possible. I try to dispel the myths and debunk the stereotypes that have plagued us since I was a young and upcoming bisexual because the struggle is very real and potent in its ability to make coming to terms with this very difficult… and since I know this, I do my best to help.
To all the bisexuals who are struggling, don’t give up hope – you can get past this if you do as I did and look at this simply and not overthink things. Know that you are not as alone as you think; at the least, I am here and kinda easy to find (I think).