When one goes hacking around in the dense undergrowth of the DL and looking to satisfy their urges for dick, you might come across site profiles written by men who like to state that they don’t have any time for any motherfucker who ain’t a real man… and just what the fuck does that mean?
I’ve come to understand that for one man to get sexually intimate with another man takes a high degree of personal courage. I know it’s one thing to want to suck another man’s cock, as an example, another thing to be able to sit and imagine what it would be like, and something very different when the real thing is right there in your face and waiting to be orally stimulated. Now, I’m not saying that any man is a coward when it comes to this by any means; I’m just saying that you can think and/or believe what you want and the moment of truth is always the turning point… and I’ve seen a lot of men admit that they just couldn’t do it.
And that’s fine; at least in my opinion, it takes a real man to admit that he can’t do something. But, on the DL, wow, the attitudes of some of the men trolling for cock can be quite unbelievable; you can read the profile of one of these guys and get the impression that they believe that any man who doesn’t want to do what they want to do are beneath them – or not real men, according to a couple of conversations I’ve had with such men. It’s an implied insult, one man telling another that he’s not man enough to sexually do whatever’s supposed to be done and without reservation, complaint, or any other form of, “I ain’t doing that” which can be said.
Some of these rather arrogant – and I might add, clueless – dudes try to shame you into having sex with them by, again, insulting your masculinity, like, suggesting that if you weren’t willing to have your ass reamed out, well, you must be some kind of effeminate punk bitch and the same goes for not wanting someone busting a nut in your mouth… and I wonder where these dudes get this shit from. I know we all have this idea in our head about what a man’s supposed to be, how he’s supposed to act and all that and my version of a real man is any guy who’s willing to throw down with me – again, I know and understand how much courage it takes to go against everything we’ve been taught about this – and you can read this as men aren’t supposed to be doing this shit with other men.
Once again, I sense the thug mentality at work here… and while I do kinda understand the underlying philosophy in this, well, while there are things I wouldn’t object to doing for another “brother,” there are also some things I’m not going to do and if that, in the other guy’s opinion, doesn’t make me a real man, well, I’d normally say he could suck my dick – but this so-called real man usually isn’t of a mind to do that. I actually asked a guy once what being a real man meant to him and, of course, he said that a real man would get on his knees and worship his dick, take that nut in his mouth and swallow it all down – and then eat his ass and suck his dick again to get him hard and ready to fuck the other guy good and hard in the ass.
I then asked him if he was gonna be willing to suck some dick, eat some sperm, eat some ass, and then offer up his own ass to be fucked… and he said, “I don’t do none of that shit!” He even found it necessary to question my sanity by asking him such things and all I said was, “Hmm… you’re not as real as you want someone else to be, are you?” He never answered the question and I saw that he had gone offline; I laughed to myself and said to no one in particular, “Who’s the punk bitch now?”
So, what, are there two different types of real men here? There’s the one “real man” who doesn’t suck dick, won’t be fucked, etc., then, apparently, there’s the “real man” who is supposed to submit to all of this and not expect any reciprocation at all? Sadly, this is part of the reality when it comes to gay sex and our inability to erase the lines of demarcation that divides us into tops and bottoms, which holds us to an inescapable behavior when it comes to sex: Someone has to be the “male” in this and someone has to be the “female” and, I’d have to say ‘rarely’ is there someone who’d be quite comfortable in either role – those versatile guys you see me writing about from time to time.
I personally tend to question the manhood of any dude who’s looking to have sex with another dude but won’t, at the very least, suck some dick. Yep, I know and even respect the fact that there are some guys who just can’t get their head around giving head (see what I did there? Yuk, yuk!) But we see in this the hypocrisy that takes place: You want another man to do something that, apparently, you’re not man enough to do yourself… and how, exactly, does that make you a real man? I’ve seen profiles written (if you wanna call it that) by such men and have read them ranting and raving about what they expect right alongside what they’re not gonna do… and it’s beyond being sad. It’s a kind of arrogance that insults my intelligence; you’re gonna state that your preferences in this are inviolate and not subject to change… but you’re gonna disregard any preferences I might have… and then say that I’m not a real man when I tell you to take your preferences and shove them up your own ass?
It doesn’t surprise me when these arrogant bastards whine and complain about not being able get what they want; I laugh a lot when I see them writing that they don’t know where all the real men are; I frown a lot to see them writing and saying that if a dude is effeminate in any way, he needs to step to the side because his kind ain’t wanted here – and I think this is funny and points to their cluelessness because, um, if you’re asking another man to lie down and submit himself to being fucked, you’re asking him to to assume the feminine role in sex but, um, obviously, you’re not smart enough to understand any of this, are you?
A real man knows and understands that not everyone does everything, that every man who is into this knows what he likes to do and all of the things that aren’t liked – and then accepts this reality so that he can find someone who’s more compatible. Oh, and a real man knows not to push his own agenda onto someone who isn’t of a mind to go along with that. One more thing: Real men can read and comprehend what “I’m not into anal sex” means and can see the sense of not asking for something that’s not being made available. Hang on for this one: A real man can want what he wants and in the way he wants it… but just because he wants it this way doesn’t mean other men are gonna want the exact same thing… because they, too, want what they want and in the way they want it. Yep, I deliberately said it like this… because it was fun to think and write it this way – it’s too easy to just say, um, one man’s meat is another man’s poison or some other overly used cliché…
A real man knows what he can and can’t do; he knows what he should and shouldn’t do and a real man sure as hell isn’t going to allow himself to be bullied into doing something that ain’t on his list of things to do. So if you’re out there trolling the various sites looking for some dick and you run across someone looking for real men, just go find another profile to read unless, of course, your idea of being a real man says that any time another man wants to top you, that’s fine… but I know some bottoms who wouldn’t put up with any insults to their masculinity.