Today’s Bisexual Thoughts: A New Year, A New Mindset?

01 Jan

I was just wondering how 2016 will be different for any/all bisexuals.  Will those of the monosexual persuasion continue their insanity that we don’t or can’t exist?  Will they continue to denigrate us by continuing to apply prejudicial stereotypes to a behavior that, clearly, they don’t understand?  Will bisexuals everywhere finally stop being afraid of being persecuted by the factions that are set against us and realize, once and for all, that we don’t have to march to their old, tired drumbeats?

In all the years I’ve been paying attention to bisexuality, I’ve seen changes in the dynamic, some quite positive, some… well, no, not so much.  Once upon a time, bisexuals were the on the butt-end of some, ah, rather polite jokes; no one denied that bisexuals existed but they found it odd that someone would, as they’d say, want to play for both teams; even then, there were two types of people:  Straight folks and gay folks and the holier than thou straight folks launched a massive campaign to erase homosexuals even though some of the folks who participated in this weren’t too keen to let it be known that they, too, liked hitting from both sides of the plate.  Even though bisexuals continued to fly well under the social radar, bisexuality thrived, with more and more people discovering, by some means, that it was perfectly fine and natural to indulge in those attractions to men and women despite the horrific and casualty-laden war against homosexuality; indeed, a lot of bisexuals felt a measure of comfort in that they knew, without any doubt, that they weren’t homosexual but, sadly, even some bisexuals learned that when you’re a hammer, everything looks like a nail; even if you told someone that you were bisexual, all they’d “see” is the homosexual side of the equation.

All that did was drive bisexuals further underground.  From this position of personal safety, we watched homosexuals go through some shit that no human being should ever be subjected to, up to and including being murdered for daring to be different from the accepted norm.  Knowing that this was happening didn’t stop bisexuals from being bisexual; you see, the DL – the down-low – existed long before it ever became popular in a song.  In the light of day, we’d have our opposite sex dealings but under the cover of darkness, we’d have our dealings with other bisexual men (in this case) and homosexual men as well and as long as it was all being kept as quiet as possible, bisexuals and bisexuality continued to flourish.

And that’s despite all the rhetoric being thrown about today, stuff that was quite old and tired when I first heard it so many years ago and it has always made me wonder if humans are really that clueless about how we tend to behave… and apparently, we are because once our society realized that they couldn’t erase homosexuality, we switched our self-righteous focus to trying to eliminate bisexuality and insisting that we choose one side or the other and stay there.  Even in the face of this constant derision, bisexuality continued to flourish and grow; for men, what once considered to be “gay thing” to do – sucking cock, fucking asses and the like – was beginning to be viewed as a damned masculine thing to involve one’s self in.  At yet another point in time, heterosexuals kinda stopped giving bisexuals the business; they didn’t care if someone was bisexual as long as they weren’t hitting on them.  Homosexuals, however, found reason to be greatly offended by bisexuals – there’s a reason why that stereotype about us being cheaters and unable to commit to a relationship exists.  Yes, sadly, bisexuals were breaking many homosexual hearts because we saw no reason to give up our opposite sex attractions.

It’s funny… the homosexuals that used to plead, beg, and sometimes demand that I give up my “pretense” of homosexuality to fully embrace it seemed to believe that while I had to change my orientation and preferences, it was impossible for them to change theirs.  Their hypocrisy was rather pointed and narrow-minded:  If they, as they insisted, were born the way they were, how could it be so inconceivable that I was born to be bisexual?  Today, it’s mostly a faction of homosexuals that continue to keep the ancient stereotypes alive while using them as a stick to beat us with; the dynamic changed a little because due to all this bullshit, bisexuals were so afraid of the coming social persecution that some came up with some interesting descriptors for their behavior that served to distance themselves from the literal definition of being bisexual, up to and including making their own, unofficial definitions of what bisexuality is.  Even though the ranks of bisexuals continued to grow, the social stigma – and especially for bisexual men – was becoming hard to avoid so phrases like “socially bi,” “bi with the right person,” and the dreaded “heteroflexible” or the equally dreaded “homoflexible” were coined so that some bisexuals could, in fact, look like a duck, quack like a duck, but categorically deny that they were that duck.

It was bad enough that there are folks who say we’re in denial to begin with… and by coining this phrases, um, yeah, we kinda proved their point to an extent by claiming and invoking eminent domain and sticking to our right to label ourselves as we damn well pleased… or not to label ourselves at all, anything to avoid the growing social persecution against bisexuals or, humorously, we’re not the droid you’re looking for; move along, move along.  The dynamic continued to change, which no longer surprises me since change is inevitable; more and more people are, at the least, behaving like bisexuals even if they chose to deny that they’re bisexuals.  Bisexual men were being targeted as primary disease vectors, bisexual women were being called out as man-hunting fakes and phonies, using their allure as the mythical unicorn to entrap men and once the trap had been sprung, dropping their bisexual facade… and a lot of bisexual women got totally pissed the fuck off at this allegation.

When the New York Times issued their now-famous article about the existence of bisexuals, it was met with a lot of derision; I know the moment I read it,I was like, “Duh!  You just now figuring this out when we’ve been here the whole time?”  But instead of embracing this “new” aspect of our diversity, it was met with even more prejudice from an unlikely source: The same LGBT organization that was created to provide support to those who choose not to be heterosexual.  They began to distance themselves from bisexuals and, later, transgenders and, well, in the opinion of many, showing their true colors and embracing that uncool behavior that if you’re not like us, you’re against us and must be destroyed.  And even though this has been going hotly and heavily, bisexuality and bisexuals continue to strive, flourish and, oh, yeah, exist like a motherfucker.

In 2016, the message that should go out is that, yes, we are bisexual; we are here, we have always been here, we will always be here.  You don’t have to join us if you don’t want to but you cannot erase us; you can no longer deny that we exist and, even more, you really need to stop making your problems our problems; you really should cease and desist your smear campaign against us because nothing, and I mean nothing you can do or say is going to make bisexuality and bisexuals go away.  We will not change who and what we are to fit into your monosexual mindset… because we don’t have to.  You should grow the fuck up and realize that if you have the God-given right to be straight or gay, we have that same right to be both… or neither as it suits our purposes.  And, finally, you need to wake up and smell the coffee so that you can understand that with the sole exception of how we, as bisexuals, like to love and, yes, fuck, we’re not as different as you alleged us to be and if you can’t see and understand this, then you’re the ones with the problem and not us; you need to be “fixed” or otherwise have your perceptions changed to be more aligned with reality than continuing to hold onto you illusion of egocentric superiority and moral righteousness.

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Posted by on 1 January 2016 in Today's Bisexual Thoughts


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