It comes when you’ve made the decision to do something others consider to be morally reprehensible, to bare yourself to another man and with the sole purpose of inseminating each other in some way – manually, orally, or anally. It’s not as if you don’t know that what you’re about to do goes against everything you’ve been taught about having sex, things that are supposed to be done only with women.
You know this but you’re still standing before him or lying down with and for him and, perhaps, foreplay begins from touches to kissing, that initial exploration of each other’s body that serve to both inform and familiarize as well as to stimulate and further arouse passion and lust. You take his cock into your hand, which isn’t so unlike handling your own cock yet it is so very different; you can feel his pulse, that rush of blood that fills his cock until it’s in its full erect state and you wonder, and not for the first time, how something that feels so good can be so bad.
The thought persists within your mind, your primal urges warring with your learned morality as you take his cock into your mouth, your senses exploding with the contact as you taste him, feel him, smell him, see and hear his reaction to what you’ve just done. This is not according to Hoyle, as they say; this act of pleasure is supposed to be in the domain of the fairer sex even though you do understand that it never was just a thing she’s supposed to do because you can do it as well and you understand how she feels when it’s her mouth on your erection.
It becomes more real as you feel his mouth close around your own erection and now the two of you are joined together mouth to penis and you wonder once more how something that feels so good can be seen as being very wrong. Maybe you’ll flood each other’s mouth with seed, an act which is so pleasurable all by itself; maybe all of this oral stimulation is just a prelude to a more primal need to engage in intercourse so that one or both of you can be inseminated, not for the purpose of reproduction, of course, but simply because that shit feels so fucking good.
With the exception of being in the womb, this is yet another moment where two human beings are as close and integrated as two people can be, caught up in both the sensuality of the moment as well as the hard, stark reality that men just are not supposed to do this to each other, which has never changed the fact that they do and because it can be done.
To be on the receiving end, to feel his cock moving inside of you is an indescribable pleasure and one that no one who has never been fucked could possibly understand; after all, words just do not do this feeling any real justice, do they? This, too, is so very surreal, all things considered; the man thrusting into you is, without a doubt, going the wrong way on a one-way street, isn’t he? Yet, there is a reason why this is seen as such a nasty pleasure, why feeling his cock swelling inside this part of you in preparation to deliver his seed is great among taboos.
Maybe it’s you who is so very hard and in that very nasty and even dangerous place? Even if you’re protected by a condom, you’re still fucking another man in his ass, fornicating with him and not only taking great pleasure in this but providing that unique pleasure for him. As with having a hard cock in your own ass, it’s not easy to explain why this feels so good, why it is so familiar to fucking a woman despite the fact that this is no woman beneath you.
There comes a moment when the reality of it all escapes you; it gives way to things that require no thought but is focused just the same, when all the pleasure comes to a sharp point and ejaculation occurs and, well, again, there aren’t enough words in anyone’s vocabulary that can exactly explain what this feels like other than to say it feels good – it just feels so damned good. There also comes a moment – after you cum, if you will – when surreality is replaced once more with the reality of the situation, that you’ve once more thumb your nose at the morality of sexual congress and exposing the lie that morality insists is the truth: That what you’ve just done is wrong when the truth says otherwise; how can anything that felt so fucking good be as wrong as it gets?
You do know the answer to this; we all know the answer. Yet and still, you know that there will come another time when you want to forsake morality and do which is not to be done, to once more immerse yourself in the surreal feelings of having sex in the most prohibited way possible and accepting the reality that despite the prohibitions, this shit feels too damned good not to do it again.