RSS

Today’s Bisexual Thoughts: Wishful Thinking

20 Feb

If I had one “regret” about being bisexual, it’s that I had to learn everything by trial and error.  I’ve mentioned before that when I began my journey, there was little information available, no Internet, no mentor or anyone who cared enough to take me in hand and tell me what to do or what not to do before I’d run out to do it.  This didn’t go down (no puns yet) because of a lack of bisexual males – they were around but so deep in the closet there isn’t another word I can think of that could convey just how well-hidden they were until, of course, one of them wanted to feed you some cock… and then all that mattered was performing the requested service – and with the least amount of instruction or direction – and off you go, left to what few devices you had when trying to figure this whole boys-doing-boys thing.

Experience truly is a good teacher; it can also be a brutally unfair one, too, so being able to have the advantage of being forewarned would have helped way back then, I mean, other than being constantly told to not do any shit like that to begin with.  Compared to the way I know a lot of guys had their OJT in man sex, I was more than just lucky or fortunate not to have learned via coercion, violence, or even extreme peer pressure.  My natural curiosity got me into my share of “trouble” so coercing me, threatening me with violence, or double-dog daring me to do it wasn’t even necessary; all one hadntomsay was, “Hey, you wanna do it?” and I’d be shouting, “Yes!” even as I was trying to shed my clothes as quickly as possible.

I did notice that the guys who preyed on the “weaker” guys didn’t ask me to have sex with them; I guess it’s hard or even impossible to make someone do something that they’d be more than happy to do – I’d wager it takes all the fun away for them when you can’t bully someone into sucking your dick.

I’ve often sat and wondered what a mentor could have told me that would have changed my behaviors, to make me more focused, discriminating, or something other than running around like a wild child and taking on all comers (there’s the pun!); then I wonder if a mentor had tried to slow me down, would I have been able to heed their wise words, slow my roll, and use better judgement?  The adult writing this says, “Sure, I would have listened!” but thinking about the kid I was?  Nope, can’t see that happening; my mentor would advise against doing it with this guy and my wanting to do it would shove the advice to the curb and get it done and with little regard to the consequences.

I’d most likely find myself with a hard dick in my mouth or ass and realizing that this time, it really did sound like a better idea than the actual experience turned out to be and then my mentor, if I had one  would give me quite the scolding for not thinking before acting as well as disregarding their sage advice that, if nothing else, would have spared me any “bad” moments.  The biggest question for me in all of this isn’t whether I would have kept on being bisexual but would I have been a better bisexual earlier rather than later?

I don’t know the answer to that even though I’d like to think that I would have been a better bisexual way before I actually got to that point in my life, which is wishful thinking at its finest; the retroactive view is so damned easy to see and perfect for showing you what you should have done (or what you shouldn’t have done) when the event has already happened so, no, playing armchair quarterback about this isn’t as helpful – but if I’ve gleaned anything from the retrospective, it’s what not to do going forward.

Which explains why I go to such great lengths and superfine detail to explain male bisexuality when someone asks me about it because I know what can happen if no one bothers to explain it.  You really shouldn’t leave someone to their own devices in this.  I was lucky or fortunate that nothing horribly bad ever happened to me but today, nah, you shouldn’t dive into the murky waters in this end of the pool until you can find someone wiling to tell you exactly what lurks beneath the surface and, in this, there is no such animal as too much information.

Mentoring doesn’t totally eliminate trial and error learning because, sometimes, you just guess wrongly about some situations; maybe you didn’t do it and learn that you should have, maybe you do it and find out that you have said no or even maybe later.  Mentoring isn’t “do as I say, not as I do” because while one may think that all male bisexuals are the same, we aren’t; the things I wouldn’t do could be just fine with some other guy although we do all face the same risks – male bisexuality is something we all tailor to our unique requirements, tastes, etc..

Mentoring a guy in this is about digging around in his head to find out why he wants to be this way and what his expectations are – then discovering whether or not he can be successfully bisexual… and it’s not a given that he will be successful or even bisexual.  I usually ask new guys two questions right off the bat:  Why do you want to do this and what do you really want to do?  And “I dunno…”is very unacceptable as an answer to either question; for me, failing to answer these two questions will make me say, “Well, maybe you shouldn’t do it until you can answer the questions, okay?”

And, hopefully, he won’t.  Do I wish someone had asked me these two questions?  Of course I do but since they didn’t, when called upon, I will ask them because they need to be asked and answered…

 
Leave a comment

Posted by on 20 February 2016 in Today's Bisexual Thoughts

 

Tags: , , ,

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

 
Jenny's Swinger Party and Dating Advice 🎉

23 year old real estate agent & swinger 💋

Katya Evangeline

From Missionary to Sex Preacher and Loving It!

Domestic Discipline, Jenny style!

Unconventional journey to unimaginable fulfillment.

"Me."

All the things that make me, well "me."

CinnamonAndSparkles

If I had a power color, it would be sparkle. Landon Brinkley

Hopeful Heartache

Ramblings about life, relationships, anxiety, depression, and questions.

SeXXy Julie

Sexual Adventures & Erotica of a Cougar

Temperature's Rising

It's getting hot in here...

A Question of Lust

"Love My Way, It's a New Road"

Madeline Harper

ReImagined

Bellaelena

Random thoughts from a random mind

Equal Anarchy

Equality, Gender, Feminism, Sexuality

Sensual Desires

Sensual Poetry

thewritingofpassage

Writing about recovery.

The Watering Hole

Where everyone comes to quench their thirst for insight to life's challenging questions.

B0Y . LU5T

Coming to terms with being male, atheist, married, over 40, bisexual, kinky and blurring the lines of monogamy while living in a conservative "red state" .

afortnightaway

Parts Of My Life

Date A Bisexual

DateBisexual.net

ophisophia

The Wise Serpent

myarousal

Fetishes, Gender Issues, Sexual Politics, Erotic Memoirs

a worried whimsy

bouncing between happy and anxious

ann st vincent

My journey through marriage, open marriage, divorce, being a Mom, sexual rebirth, online dating, failed relationships, and lots of sex

The Conquest Files

"The truth is rarely pure and never simple." - Oscar Wilde

More Is Merrier

Views on consensual non-monogamy

Brighton Bipolar

Adult Survivor of Child Abuse and Diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder - Working towards ending the stigma of Mental Illness

The Self-Actualized Life

Have a fulfilling life sexually and every other way!

Assentively Yours

Ramblings of a depressed mind and other nuances.

Larry Archer's World (LarryArcher.com)

Erotica from the dirty mind of Larry Archer

theopenwife

is there a path to a successful open marriage?

thesinofindia

The silent inside of an anonymous Indian rebelling against society

The (Bi)te

The uninteresting world of a young bisexual girl

The Bi-Love-Ed RESEARCHER

What Perspective Matters Most Depends on Your Perception

Kittykat-bitsandbobs

Just my random thoughts and meanderings... I'll try to keep you entertained

Roller Coaster Life of a Fat Girl

Highs and Lows of My Weight Loss Journey

smallpenisbigissues

when and why size matters

rouge

I write when the choice is to die if I don't

My SEXuality

Why am I afraid to tell you who I'am?

Confessions of a Cheating Housewife

...because love just isn't enough ;)

%d bloggers like this: