The short version of this is that we are damned if we do and damned if we don’t. Cityman and I have been exchanging emails about male bisexuality and how men are, naturally, I guess, resistant to the thought of turning to other men for sex if they’ve hit a dead end trying to have sex with women. Except each and every day, a lot of men are discovering that playing with another man’s cock isn’t really all that bad, not like everyone else is convinced that it is.
Sure, there are risks… but sex is and always has been some risky business but I never fails to amaze me how a guy could go apeshit over the prospect of getting blown by a woman… but wants to toss his cookies entertaining the thought that, hmm, maybe getting blown by a guy could feel just as good, huh?
I can personally assure you that it does; likewise, giving a bro-job, while, um, interesting to initially do, brings a certain level of pleasure as well. Anyway, Cityman and I have noted, observed, whatever, that many guys take that initial plunge… then wind up asking themselves why they never tried it before the moment they did, that it’s actually not as nasty as its purported to be and, logically, if it’s nasty to exchange blowjobs with a guy, shouldn’t it be equally nasty to get into a heavy oral sex session with a woman? Technically, it should be seen as very nasty, shouldn’t it… yet, one version is deemed not to be nasty at all – and I think y’all can guess which one that would be.
Cityman and I talk about what motivates a man to add cock to his diet, from the fact that we’re programmed to want lots of sex to latent feelings of bi- and homosexuality, from finding one’s self in one of those “shit happens” situations to finding reason to give in to that sense of curiosity that has had them wondering, “I wonder what it would be like to do it with a guy?”
Today – and more than in the past that I’m too familiar with – guys straddling the line is being seen as a very masculine thing to do and not the bitch thing it’s been seen as for the longest time. What strikes me as funny is that back in the 1980s, women were in our cases about embracing our feminine side so we could better relate to them emotionally… and a lot of guys took this advice to heart and in the process of getting in touch with their feminine side, they found out something that women have always known: Having sex with a guy can be rather damned satisfying!
I’m thinking that the ladies really didn’t expect or anticipate some of us taking their suggestion that far… but it is what it is and what it’s always been despite morality’s attempt to keep men from finding out that sexy with a man isn’t all that different from sex with a woman… because it’s still sex. Even with the rising numbers of bisexual men, morality continues to attempt the eradication of such behavior in men… even when male homosexuality has gradually become an acceptable matter of fact. However, male bisexuals are caught between the proverbial rock and hard place in that many women are opposed to their man liking cock in some way… and many gay men aren’t too keen about the fact that the guy they might have the hots for also likes playing with pussy.
We get hung up in the double standard that it’s perfectly acceptable for a woman to decide that she needs another woman to fulfill her needs and desires – and the things that men aren’t so good at taking care of; logic suggests that if two women can get together and destroy a bed and no one would think badly of them for, ah, double dipping, then it should be okay for two guys to indulge in similar pleasures… but since our morality insists that “Gil” and “Hank” should never do this nasty, sinful shit, well, it presents a major problem for the bisexual men who are of a mind that, oh, throwing down in a 69 with each other can be pretty damned gratifying.
Cityman and I talked about the sexual revolution of the 1960s that saw everyone having sex with greater frequency and in whatever way worked for them… then HIV/AIDS came along and ground the revolution to a halt and the growing number of teen pregnancies added their on weight to the matter of getting your freak on. Ah, but with the [assinine] revelation that bisexuals do, in fact, exist, the sexual revolution is getting cranked up again with more men indulging themselves with homosexual sex… and they’re not homosexual. I mentioned the “thug mentality” to him which hidden in its message of brotherly love is the justification for two guys to screw each other’s brains out or to unquestionably agree to whipping out their cocks for some mutual oral pleasure.
A little while ago, I wrote something about the bro-job, this “new” phenomenon that’s seeing “straight” men going down on each other because, well, that’s what friends should do for each other if they are, in fact, good and close friends, ha, ha. This is still a form of justification that carries the message that if our hypothetical “Gil” can help “Hank” out by giving him a nice blowjob, well, that’s okay and, again, true friends are supposed to go above and beyond to help each other… oh, and if they do lend each other this kind of aid, they’re still very straight.
Yeah, right… sure they are…
A lot of bi guys are repressed and suppressed, our morality making it so that their urges to investigate cock can’t be realized without major repercussions… while failing to take into consideration how this can do great mental and emotional harm to men and their relationship with women (in particular). I’ve felt that not much attention is giving to this because, historically, we’re not so overtly emotional unless we’re pissed off. I know such repression can prey on a man’s mind and it start to affect other aspects of his life ranging from severe depression to barely contained rage because he needs to suck a dick or get his ass creamed by another guy… but our collective mindset prohibits this and mandates that if you want to have sex, get a woman. And that’s fine… until she decides that she doesn’t want to be bothered with giving up the coochie or he keeps running into women who are determined not to have sex because they still believe that getting screwed without the benefit of a relationship devalues them.
The haters say that bisexuals are leading the league where domestic violence, depression, and suicide are concerned, things that could be prevented if we, as a moral society, would just get our collective heads out of our asses and admit that, for the purposes of this writing, men getting busy with men is just the way some of us can behave and that our love of pussy is also just the nature of the beast. We put so much emphasis on relationships and how bisexuality can destroy everything that a relationship is supposed to mean and stand for… yet, there’s more sex taking place sans a relationship than there is within a lot of relationships.
Bisexuality threatens monogamy big time even though it doesn’t – or shouldn’t – take a genius to figure out that one person just cannot take care of every need the person with them could develop; if “Marla” needs some pussy with her cock in order to feel whole and complete, her man – let’s call him “Mike” – clearly and obviously isn’t equipped to take care of Marla’s need for this. Conventional thinking mandates that Marla set aside her desires – or leave Mike even if doing this isn’t in either of their best interests. Even I maintain that if you want to make infidelity a thing of the past, all that has to be done is to remove all reasons for infidelity to take hold or if Mike find he needs some cock added to his diet, why not let him get some as long as he’s taking care of home and being responsible about it?
This is seen as a bad thing… yet, a lot of couples are seeing the truth of this, that being able to express their bisexuality can lend itself to the strength and longevity of their relationship. It’s not easy to make happen – everyone’s too deeply mired in the tenets of monogamy to be able to make it work… but wouldn’t such an arrangement lend itself to reducing the number of bisexuals who commit sex-related acts of domestic violence, the number of severely depressed bisexuals, and the number of bisexuals who feel that their death is the only way to end the pain of their deprivation?
Or, as Cityman put it, wouldn’t it all be easier if we just admit that it’s okay to be bisexual and free to indulge one’s self? The thing is that until we can stop being prudes about sexuality, the conundrum for bisexual males will continue to exist and making our damned if we do/damned if we don’t existence that much more miserable and unfulfilling.
Thus endeth the rant.