I’ve been kinda hanging out on a site of bisexual men, reading their stories and the many questions they have and while a lot of the men who post are upbeat and positive about being bisexual, jeez, there are many more men who aren’t so upbeat or positive, oozing frustration from very pore and ready to give up on having that first experience… and there are guys who aren’t willing to give up but from where they’re sitting, experiencing another man sexually or e even romantically is a gap that seems impossible to bridge.
Married guys who crave the touch of another man but the need for marital fidelity puts a huge roadblock in the path of their personal satisfaction and, as I’ve seen so many times, they’re willing to sacrifice themselves for what seems to be the greater good but still find that their longing for cock makes them feel more like a victim or even a martyr than someone nobly putting the needs of others before their own. They ask, “What about what I want and need?” and the only answer is empty and disinterested silence as they are reminded that what they want for themselves isn’t of any import.
Single guys who aren’t bound by strictures of monogamous relationship dogma are out there getting their freak on but are, more often than not, frustrated and unfulfilled because finding just the right guy to explore with is harder than it appears to be. I sit and read their words as they ponder what life means as a bisexual man, from questioning why they feel the way they do to doing their best to figure out what, if anything, they can do in order to follow their feelings and satisfy their physical and emotional needs.
These are all complications that all bi guys have to face at some point and some deal with them easier than others, pushing the boundaries and fairly spitting in the face of our morality and letting it be known that they will not be denied that which they need to be the man they’d have to be. But so many either don’t know how to shove the boundaries aside or, bluntly, they’re afraid to tempt fate or to push their luck, which is yet one additional complication among the many bisexuality brings to the table.
I have the honor and good fortune to mentor Cityman as he journeys through the social and moral minefields that makes being a bi guy a complicated way to be and he’s done incredibly well given he’s not been at this very long. I get to “watch” him deal with the complications while maintaining – and even developing – a mindset that can effectively allow him to be the kind of man that men and women couldn’t go wrong with, changing himself – and often in the fly – to adapt to an aspect of life that’s been moving very quickly for him. I give him big time props because he gets it; he sees both the good and bad of being a bi guy but is determined enough to not let the complications keep his eyes closed to the possibilities and battling against the social conditioning he received that keeps insisting that women are the only source of succor a man will ever need.
He does what more bi guys need to do; fight against the machine, break down the barriers and prejudice, and look beyond what he’s been taught and what he thinks he knows to see the reality… and I can’t wait for the day to arrive when he finds himself mentoring a guy new to the complications of male bisexuality. Indeed, I had a guy on the site I’ve been checking out reach out to me and wanting to chat; it seems he needs to find his footing on this shaky ground and while we’ve put in place a method to communicate, we’ve not had our initial conversations but it’s just a matter of time before that’ll happen.
It’s what other bi men who are flummoxed by the complications should do: Find that guy who has been there, done that, and understands male bisexuality from more than the physical point of view. Sucking cock is easy compared to trying to figure out what’s going on behind the scenes, i.e., why desire to suck another man’s dick in the first place. And while there is no one answer to all of the complications, it’s better to have some answers than none at all and, after all, if you don’t know, you’d better ask somebody ’cause if you don’t ask, you’ll never know.