Today’s Bisexual Thoughts:  What’s the Hold Up?

07 Apr

Given that we live in such an enlightened world these days, what’s the hold up that’s keeping bisexuality from being better accepted on a global scale?  We see small victories here and there; bisexual celebs are coming out of the woodwork and few of the moral majority are giving the huge rafts of shit about their sexuality choice, which is interesting and shines a light on the level of prejudice we are capable of, i.e., the rich and famous are free and clear to comport themselves as they see fit but an everyday sort of person will catch seven kinds of hell for being bisexual.

One would think that if we’ve finally gotten to the point where we can treat homosexuals like they aren’t homosexual, then a more broader acceptance that includes bisexuals would be a no-brainer and that our society, in particular, could easily make this happen next given what we’re learned in the struggle to banish homosexuality, the futility of such a thing, and our consequent failure to make it go away.

I’ve read a few things written by folks who seem to believe that the acceptance of bisexuality is impossible, a point of view I don’t agree with because there was a time when I didn’t believe that an African-American would ever be President of the United States… and, yeah, that happened didn’t it?  It’s not that we can’t do it; we once thought that homosexuality would never be accepted… and that happened, too, didn’t it?  Oh, not in one fell swoop bit more of a cascade effect; once the ball got rolling, it kept rolling and picking up speed despite some areas of the country stubbornly holding onto the ancient ways or, as I’ve been saying lately, they choose to cling to dogma instead of adapting to a new understanding.

It seems the more a change is needed, the slower it winds up happening even though there are a lot of people who believe that reforms in our behavior where sexuality is concerned are called for and long overdue.  On the new forum I’ve been checking out, many of the men there express a “desire” for things to be changed so that they don’t have to hide their sexuality and can openly act on it without getting their heads handed to them… and it seems to impossible, doesn’t it, and more so when a great many people are stil of a mind that bisexuality can’t and doesn’t exist or going out of their way to insist that that quacking sound you hear isn’t really a duck.

The LGBT community has done little to, um, up the value of bisexuals in the public eye… then again, they’ve been very busy promoting the homosexual cause and fine-tuning it, if you will.  So we’re left to our own devices and struggling to make sense of that troubling double standard that says female bisexuals are the greatest thing since sliced bread… but their male counterparts are the scum of the earth.  Many male bisexuals live in fear of discovery and dogma doesn’t allow them to be comfortable in their own skins; many are existing in the seedy depths of the DL and taking risks that can be seen as unwarranted, careless, and even insane… and all because we see little choice than to remain hidden in the face of that lack of social acceptance.

I’d even go as far as to point out that if the social acceptance was there, the DL would empty out and would once more be the sole province of adulterers.  It would seem to me that if the DL is a great source of infectious diseases, taking some steps to “shut it down” would be prudent and vilifying it hasn’t worked.  Gaining that more open acceptance means men aren’t taking those unnecessary risks, like hanging around truck stops and adult book stores, or frequenting glory holes in order to feed their hunger for cock.

Bi guys in a relationship will still be hosed even if society gets its head out of its own ass and declares bisexuality to be acceptable; the rules are very different in this important area even if the folks involved aren’t married and will not be easily reformed and if changes come in this area, well, chances are I won’t be around to see monogamy fall by the wayside and as the only way to have a relationship.

It’s one thing to be able to identify the sticking points; it’s one thing to be able to suggest ways to unstick those points; it’s gonna be a royal bitch to implement the reforms that will make the lives of bisexuals easier to live; more has to be done to uphold the rights for everyone to pursue their happiness without being sanctioned for it, as is the case at this moment.

It all sounds like wishful thinking… and it very well may be… but someone has to say it because silence isn’t golden, ignorance is not bliss, and we are seeing that what we don’t know is hurting the shit out of a lot of people who only want to indulge in their sexuality preference without getting beat down in the process…


Posted by on 7 April 2016 in Today's Bisexual Thoughts


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2 responses to “Today’s Bisexual Thoughts:  What’s the Hold Up?

  1. Cityman

    8 April 2016 at 04:11

    Thank you for fleshing out this important message. As I’ve emailed to you privately, I don’t have a lot of faith at the moment that the stigma of male bisexuality will be erased anytime soon for largely sexist reasons and irrational fears that lead to double standards.

    Presently, we’re being slapped in the face with such an illogical approach to life, but humans have never failed to attempt to squash, eradicate, demonize, and pathologize “the other”; the minority status that scares us all, regardless of our level of privilege in this world.

    It’s not that bisexuality doesn’t exist; in fact, any research worth a damn is clear that it’s the silent majority within the LGBT spectrum, and that it isn’t even close. Hybrids abound in nature, and we share 99% of our DNA with the notoriously bisexual bonobo monkey species. But the practice of monogamy forces the majority of us to choose a side, leaving the other half of the many bisexual people hiding in the obscurity of their dark side no matter how active this duality remains on a day to day basis. Bisexuality was a common reality long, long before the advent of monogamy, which is a social construct, and it’ll be here until we cease to exist as a species.

    Given the momentum of the LG movement, it’s hard to know why the ability to be attracted to both genders is so difficult for us to wrap our minds around — especially when so many of us are experiencing dual attraction on a day to day basis. Religion isn’t very old in the context of geologic time, but how many more millenia will we spend trying to unlearn these prejudices?


    • kdaddy23

      8 April 2016 at 12:24

      We are unlearning them every day; change is slow and progress tends to creep right along as well. While it would be nice for acceptance to happen right now, it’s unrealistic and almost impossible for a society to change its collective mind instantly even though all signs point toward this being a nice thing to happen.

      Even if such a change were to hit us all tomorrow, there will ALWAYS be those folks who will continue to resist change in this, preferring to – once more – cling to dogma rather than accept a new understanding. Perhaps they are aware that by staying put, they are slowly but surely becoming the minority in this and this, too, can be a bitter pill to swallow; how would you react if you had proof that what you thought you knew wasn’t the truth of things?

      Some accept the proof as-is and with few questions; many more cannot: How is it that everything they’ve been taught and everything they believe in be, in essence, wrong… or, at best, not entirely accurate?

      I would even point out this: How long did it take you to change your mind about this? Now, just thinking solely about the fact that it took you a certain amount of time to accept a new understanding, multiply it by millions (and maybe even billions) and factor in our natural tendency not to accept change all that well… and now you understand why the inevitable change in this is gonna take a while.

      Once upon a time, no one thought that a Black man would ever become the leader of the free world – it not only happened but it took time. In the here and now, the thought of a woman running the country is still seen as an impossibility and more so since every woman who has tried has failed… yet, we once again stand on the brink of the impossible becoming possible – again.

      Once upon a time, homosexuality was greatly reviled, a sin against God and nature… yet, look at what’s happened so far, changes that in my time were also thought to be impossible to implement but are now being grudgingly accepted so the greater acceptance of bisexuality – and male bisexuality in particular – will also take time even though more men are embracing this than at any time I can remember.

      This is often seen as a decline in our morality and more so since we’ve turned away from the mindset of the 1950s… but is it really a decline… or is it that the morality we understand is no longer applicable and is in need of change itself? And, keep in mind that bisexuality has always been with us, just like hetero- and homosexuality has been.

      The writing is on the wall and now it’s about a continuing acceptance of a newer understanding. Do you really believe that the “bro job” is a new thing?



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