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Today’s Bisexual Thoughts: For BLake

27 Apr

BLake, a new reader and commenter, asked me a bunch of questions – which I don’t mind, BLake, so don’t apologize for asking them – and so many that it was better I write something specifically for him to answer them.  First, how I got on this path, something I’ve written about before but you’d have to read three years worth of stuff to find it all.

When I was nine, a drunken friend of my father paid me to let him put his cock in my mouth and more to put it in my butt… and since visions of all the candy and comic books I could buy danced in my head – but despite knowing that boys didn’t do this stuff to other boys – I agreed… and got instantly hooked just as I did when, a year earlier, a girl showed me how to put my dick in her and move it in and out.

As the folks who’ve been with me for a while already know, I went batshit crazy having sex with boys and girls and having the time of my life but my curiosity was insisting that I figure out what this was all about – at the time, I didn’t even know the word “bisexual” existed but what I knew was that, hell, yeah, this was too much fun.  Then I started my quest to learn all I could about this forbidden thing I’d been doing and eventually found the definition of bisexual which, at the time, was defined as a physical, emotional, or sexual attraction to males and females.  Okay, even at the age I was when I discovered this word, it made perfectly good sense… but there were still many questions that had to be answered… and a lot more sex to be had.

Attraction.  As you probably know, that word covers a lot of things and doesn’t mean the same thing to everyone even though there’s a generally accepted meaning.  Girls attracted me big time – their looks, their bodies, the way they walked and talked, and things they thought about.  But even back then, I knew I didn’t have the same attraction to men and that my attraction was more sexual than anything else – but it didn’t mean that I didn’t like guys – I had my share of male friends – or that I didn’t know a good looking guy when I saw on – some of my male friends were damned handsome.  But dealing with girls and trying to get into their panties taught me something, that the definition of attraction I had was too general because I believed, just like every guy did, that a pretty girl was attractive and the one that should be pursued and then learned what they meant by “beauty’s only skin deep…” and my experiences with guys were bearing the same fruit but, again, I knew that I could see a good looking guy and not feel a need to get into his pants and after making a fair amount of mistakes, I saw that the generally accepted notions of attractions weren’t uniform and had to be refined to fit my perceptions.

So I stopped reading books by their covers, stopped believing the things guys would say in order to get me naked, and started looking deeper and at the other things, in particular, their mindset, something that a lot of people (at the time) didn’t pay much attention to; they’d be blinded by what they saw, left themselves open to being tricked into having sex and, before I turned 16, well, that which I found attractive took on a different meaning and I was learning that the most attractive thing was a guy who shared the same or similar sexual desires but in a way that matched up more with how I was looking at having sex with other guys.

Even then, learned some tough lesson about all of this and, importantly, about myself; while I had an aesthetic appreciation for “beauty” – like what I said about Roman Reigns – what was the real attraction for me to having sex with men?  Looks wasn’t it; I’d learned to look past the book’s cover.  Was it emotional?  Like some guys, I didn’t even think that was possible until I fell in love with a guy but in the whole, nah; I could like a guy a lot and to the point where I’d even think about hitting on him and hoping he’d hit on me… but it was the sex possible that really got me cranked up.  I saw while the definition of bisexual that I carried with me had a world of possibilities, years of introspective inspection – along with trying to figure out if I was really gay – made it clear to me that what attracted me to men was the sex, that opportunity to suck cock, swallow sperm and, at that time, fuck and be fucked; anything else was just window dressing.

“Joe” might be a handsome guy and he might even have a big dick, all nice things to look at to be sure… but what would be attractive was what was going on in his head; how did he see himself, how did he see the world in general, why did he like having sex with guys, and other such things that became more important to me than that which is superficial and I had learned the hard way about believing the bullshit and learned how to find out what I needed to know in order to get naked with him.  Most of the time I found it, many times I didn’t – nothing unusual here.

But as I talked to more bisexual guys, I’d see how they saw things,mass how frustrated they often were and even how a handsome face, smoking body, and silky smooth approach would, more often than not, made them realize that giving themselves to such a guy was a mistake they greatly regretted… and I wanted to know why.  In a lot of ways, we are not all that different from women when it comes to wanting the things we want that’ll make us happy campers, including someone having an interest in us that’s more than just sexual.  Many of the guys I talked to about this (and even had sex with) were usually  frustrated because finding a guy who resonated with them and according to whatever criteria they used was difficult and I learned that because they relied on physical attraction as a catalyst, hmm, maybe they were making it hard for guys to bed them by having very exacting standard, up to and including “being into” each other.

I had learned that, nope, I didn’t have to be into a guy to get naked with him; if he wanted to and I wanted to and I felt I could trust him – and my gut instinct – then it was on and rather gloriously so, I might add.  And it’s pretty much always worked for me and, yes, sometimes I guessed wrong but not often; some guys just feel “wrong” even though all of the attraction factors are there and I learned to, again, trust my instincts and ability to read people to keep me away from the guys with the bad vibe.

I had my first male experience in 1964 when the notions of bisexuality that exist right now did not exist and he people making these assertions were not even born… and maybe their parents hadn’t been born.  I have seen, over these decades, a pattern of behavior and one based on superficial attraction and where being into someone is mandatory for sex to happen… and while I don’t discount any of that, I know that the generally accepted notions of that whichever is attractive are not as mandatory as everyone says they are.  I don’t know how many men I’ve talked to who have said that if they’re not attracted to a guy or feel some kind of chemistry between them, no deal… and we all tend to behave like this, don’t we, even when we find out that our exacting standards in this made us miss golden opportunities – and this works for men and women.  Guys don’t want to screw the “ugly” girls, do they?  They don’t wanna screw the not so handsome, small cock guys either.

And if/when they fail to find those things they’re looking for, it’s clear to me – and if to no one else – that attraction and all those things connected with this is overrated, that we can rely too much on that which we see to get us revved up for sex and, yeah, even that the sex has to have some other meaning that’s deeper than the obvious:  Getting your cock sucked feels good.  Period.  At the root of all of this is desire and then not erecting too many barriers between you and that which you desire.  To a lot of people, I’m not bisexual because a hot guy doesn’t make my dick hard and I have no romantic interests in men at all.  Yet, for 52 of my 60 years, I have been intimate on every level possible with both men and women – I just don’t follow or, sometimes, agree with what this “new” definition of what bisexuality is and what it means to be bisexual.

Good looks don’t impress me; big cocks don’t impress me; I don’t need or require “being into” anymore than I need to be in a relationship with a guy to want to throw down with him.  What I need is desire and trust; the desire is easy because I always want to have sex any time, any place, and damned near anyone – if the trust is there and sometimes it isn’t for either mentor women.  Am I bisexual?  Damned right I am and always have been since that fateful day I had a cock in my mouth and got that first taste of another man’s sperm and, later, felt it seeping out of my butt.  It wasn’t better than sex with girls – and it still isn’t – but damn, this is still way too much fun.

And since I am responsible for my satisfaction in these things, if I want to have fun, then it’s on me to remove as many barriers I can in order to have as much fun as I can.  Could I love a guy?  Yeah, I did before so I’d be an idiot to assume it would never happen again.  Do I need love to give a guy some head?  No.  Does he have to be drop-dead handsome?  Nope.  Dick down to his knees?  Nope.  Have to be in a relationship with him to express my sexual desires?  Not even.  What I really need is to be willing and able to do it… and I’ve always been that… but I’m not careless (anymore, anyway) and far from stupid about these things.  I just don’t need a whole lot to get naked and have sex… with anyone, male or female.

Do I recognize and understand that other bisexual men (and even women) require these things?  I do… but because I do not put a lot of stock in these things doesn’t make me any less bisexual.  I say I’m not your “typical” bisexual because I’m not – and I know I’m not the only atypical bi guy because, um, I’ve slept with a lot of them over all this time. I am, in fact, mentoring a guy who is as atypical as I am and we are learning much from each other.  Do I make gay men insane?  Yeah, and they’ve not been shy about telling me how crazy I make them because while I share their sexual desire for men, I don’t share their motivations.  Doesn’t seem to stop them from wanting to bed me, though, and I’m good with that.  When I need love and all those nice things, women work for me in a most excellent way.  I don’t require that to, say, give you a blow job; I just gotta like and trust you enough.

I don’t fit today’s description of a bisexual because I was bisexual before it ever came to be.  I even know that the people supporting this definition are not, in fact, bisexual, and that many who are actually use heterosexual guidelines to determine whether they’re really bisexual and to justify their need for the sex that’s possible.  If that works for them, all well and good… but when I write or talk about this, yep, I will point out that I am and have been bisexual for a very long time and without these “mandatory” requirements they say define bisexuality.  I relate to women one way and to men in another – it’s not 50/50 by any stretch of the imagination… and it’s not supposed to be because you define what this means to you instead of letting others define it for you and more so if they aren’t – and can’t – be bisexual.

I’m sexually attracted to men and as “shameful” as this is being seen today – that “hearts not parts” thing in play – I own this attraction and without one bit of shame.  I might be attracted to your personality; ya might even be a hunk and even these things might not literally get a rise out of me.  Offer me your cock… and watch what happens next if I trust you.  What I need is the desire and I have that in spades, BLake; everything and anything else is gravy for me:  Nice to have but not always necessary.

Questions?

 
29 Comments

Posted by on 27 April 2016 in Today's Bisexual Thoughts

 

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29 responses to “Today’s Bisexual Thoughts: For BLake

  1. BLake

    27 April 2016 at 14:40

    Thank you for the dedicated blog post. I read the article in full but am still very confused. Is there a TL:DR?lol

    Questions

    1. What about Roman made you want to suck him it for you it’s a matter of liking and trusting?

    2.It sounds like you’re sexually attracted to men, but due to life experiences have come to have a double standard for men and women?Where women can cause you to want to sexually pursue them by the mere site of them, men take a little bit more than that?

    3 Would a “straight guy with a cock fetish” or hetero-dominant bisexual be applicable to you? It almost sounds like what you are since you don’t care for sexually men besides their cocks.

    4. What is your definition of sexual attraction? I see it as the physical or mental sexual arousal from encountering/seeing a person that predisposes one to want to pursue sex with them.

    5. What is this “new definition you refer to” and how do you define bisexuality?

    6. Why did you say you weren’t attracted to men AT ALL on that one blog about hetero flexibility?

    7. If superficial traits do nothing for you, how do you go about doing the dead? Like when you were online how did you pick who’s dick to suck?

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    • kdaddy23

      27 April 2016 at 16:01

      1. I’ve grown up enough to be able to say that Roman is hot and I’d blow him in a heartbeat if I could. Fantasy? Sure; the reality I accept says his hotness is secondary to what I really find attractive, i.e., where’s his head at? What kind of person is he when he’s not being the charismatic professional wrestler? Looks alone, however, don’t mean much to me and not my true motivation to want to blow any guy.

      2. Of course I have a “double standard” for men and women – they’re not the same. It’s assumed that bisexuals should be the same way with women and men and I don’t know about anyone else but my mind doesn’t work like that. I know I’m wired to see a woman and want to jump her bones… pending a lot of other things. I also know that I’m kinda wired not to react to men in that exact same way and, well, because of my experiences, I don’t find this unusual and more so when I know of other men who are like me. So, yep, two different standards for two entirely different things.

      3. Wow, that was a mouthful. Some would probably say this is the case with me… but it’s not what they think – it’s what I think that matters and I am bisexual. I don’t have that penchant for physical attraction, I know I can be emotionally attached but that’s the exception for me and not the rule and I can look at cocks all day and be quite bored doing it. Am I straight? Nope. Is this a fetish? Not as I understand the meaning of the word and as far as I know, I’ve never had a fetish. And for me to say that I’m a straight guy who’s fascinated by cocks would be me lying to myself and more so given all I have experienced to date.

      4. The definition is subjective, isn’t it? What I think it is compared to what you or anyone else says it is. There is a generally accepted definition but where should the focus be? I’m attracted to the sex even if the person isn’t pleasing to the eye and I’ve had a damned lot of time to nail this down with myself. In my mind, I want to have sex and whether it’s with a woman, a man, or both at the same time depends on opportunity; if I can, I will but there are some things that must be satisfied before I get naked… and physical attraction isn’t one of them for men. Are we like-minded about this and can you be trusted? If the answers are yes, then pending anything that might change my mind, we can do this… even if you don’t fit the general definition of what is attractive. I see with different eyes and that’s just not an easy thing for me to explain because much of it is intangible and doesn’t have any words at all.

      5. The one you referred to, which is different from the one I learned all those years ago. The current definition includes gender and emphasizes emotional affinity and not so much the pure lust aspect. I’ve had the advantage of seeing the meaning of this word change and, well, I don’t necessarily agree with it – and I don’t have to because I define this for myself and no one else can.

      6. Because I’m not and I know it. You could be a good looking guy and that will not make me even think about sleeping with you – you’re just one of many good looking men in the world. I’ve asked thousands of men about their idea of attraction and high on their list and the source of their sexual motivation is in what they see – mine isn’t. Doesn’t mean I can’t think a guy is hot-looking or indulge in some wishful thinking – but that does not motivate me. I could say that I am attracted by that which cannot be seen or easily put into words but I know, even if no one else does, exactly and precisely what that means and my idea does not fit the generally accepted definition no matter how I’ve tried to make it fit… and no matter how many people tell me how I should be attracted.

      They don’t get to make that call – I do.

      7. It’s not difficult for me to get terribly hyped to suck a guy’s cock and when I write about this, I try to put it into words just how much pleasure I get from this and very similar to the pleasure I get going down on women. How do I do it? I think of the sheer joy and pleasure I can experience, wet my lips, and indulge myself… because it just feels so damned good and at levels I couldn’t begin to describe. Is it merely oral fixation? Maybe… works for me.

      7a. How do I pick guys online? Very damned carefully. I ask a lot of questions, which tends to piss a lot of guys off because I want to know what’s on your mind other than just wanting sex. I’ve learned to let guys DQ themselves and often to my disappointment. For instance, anal sex is no longer high on my list of things to do. A guy can have a great profile, looks okay if he has a face pic, and say all the right things… but if he brings up the “A” word and insists on it, no deal. Throw a lot of bullshit at me? See ya – it could have been fun. Make demands I might see as unreasonable, like I have to have a job to get with you? Bye-bye.

      Looking for a sugar daddy or imply that I should pay for the “privilege” of sucking your dick? Get lost, fool. Since I created an online presence for this kind of sex, I’ve only found three guys I wanted to sleep with and did; there were a few guys I wanted to sleep with but we just couldn’t make it happen. I look for the deception we employ trying to get into someone’s underwear and that “game” we play because, duh, I’m a guy and one who knows how to play the game – been doing it before some of those guys online were born. Hell, one such guy trying to play me – and got turned away – was shocked to learn that I had given his father his first experience. I was, too, but that’s life.

      Not every guy online looking for other men are honest, truthful, or even honorable about it – and these things mean something to me and more than bluster, looks, cock size, etc., means. And no matter how much I need to blow a guy, if I don’t believe he can be trusted, well, I’ll just keep looking.

      Overall, my bisexuality is defined by different standards than other guys might employ and stand by. And I don’t deny it, some guys don’t like it and say that I’m not what I say I am but at the end of any day, it’s still what I think and not what anyone else thinks. If they agree, fine; if they don’t, that’s okay, too, because regardless of what the myths and stereotypes say, are all are not the same.

      Attraction? Overrated and not a mandatory necessity and, even in my experiences, tends not to get you all sexed up than it makes that possible. All that being into stuff? Not necessary for me; I just gotta like and trust you enough and, more, be into sucking your cock until either I can’t do it anymore or you can’t get it up again. Do I need a romantic connection? Nope – I have a woman I love very much and she lays her love for me on in nicely thick layers. If you look good enough to literally eat, good for you… that’s not gonna get your cock sucked as a matter of general principle and it’s not how my mind works for this anyway. If I relied on this to kickstart things, I would have never had the experiences I’ve had… just not feeling that as others say I should. Yep, Roman does look good enough to nibble on… but that’s really not enough to make it happen.

      I know this about myself and I will never apologize for it no matter how insane it sounds or how much it differs from what others perceived. Would I diss your perception? Nope – to each his own and the bottom line is are you getting what YOU want from this and based on whatever criteria works for you?

      I am… and loving every moment spent living it.

      How am I doing so far?

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      • BLake

        27 April 2016 at 17:10

        1. I see, so you mean hot in a socially conventional way not as in you find him sexually arousing in and of itself. And what you really find attractive about him is his mind.

        3. Excuse me, I couldn’t find a better word but fetish. But you used a better one. “Oral fixation” So a straight guy with an oral fixation for penis?(even more of a mouthful). I say that because of how much you don’t care for men other than sucking them yet you love women just like any other straight guy.

        I’ve heard of straight guys that like dick but like nothing else about men. They’ve even said that they’d love a transgender women with a nice dick because they like the female form and sucking dick just like you. So I kinda figured that you’re on of them.

        4. So for guys it’s what’s on the inside?

        5. The one I refereed to is the sexual and/or romantic attraction to both men and women which can apply to varying degrees. Yours seem to be as heavily one sides and a see-saw with an avil on one side and a pillow on the other. XD

        “which is different from the one I learned all those years ago.”

        Which is? Not sure if it was mentioned here, but if it was I missed it.

        6. Couldn’t one argue since you’re attracted to sucking their penies (the quintessential male part) that you are attracted to men on at least that level, coupled with your mental standards and how what’s on the inside attracts you to them?

        7. I see, but how do you intimate is what I meant, like If you are one grindr for example. How do you pick out a guy to scrutinize? I get the feeling you don’t use the app, but if you did and there’s the grid full of profiles how do you get going? Do you just shotgun it when you’re in the mood?

        It’s interesting how you say attraction is over rated, as I’ve rarely had sex with a guy I was attracted to and to me it feel so much better when it’s someone you actually find attractive.

        It’s also interesting that you bring up what’s in the mind. I think I can relate to that. I have a current fuck buddy who I’m not attracted to, in fact I find him slightly physically revolting, but his beliefs, his personality and the way we click attract me to him in an unique way.

        I guess, that’s just how you feel about guys?

        Thank you again for taking time to answer my questions. I think I might be kinda bi too, and even in a similar roundabout way just like you. I think that’s why I’m pressing so hard. I like the personality behind your blogs and hope to have such a spirit by your age.

        You weren’t kidding when you said you’re atypical. I just want to pick your brain like a surgeon, as a gay guy with bisexual tendencies as of late I want to understand the sexuality of others so I can compare and understand mines. I was flustered and frustrated with you identity as a bisexual, but SHIIIIIT!!! If you were on here saying you’re totally straight I would’ve said “Well, aren’t at least a little bisexual” So I guess I’m just being silly.

        I’m a 22 black cis fem, bottom in case that provides any context.

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  2. BLake

    27 April 2016 at 17:11

    8.

    How would you rate yourself on the Kinsey scale? I know you get a bit miffed about quantifying attraction but humor me.

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    • BLake

      27 April 2016 at 17:41

      I ask because you seem like a kinsey .8 or something.

      I would say yeah you’re bi…but barely, but that’s how I’ve come to understand it.

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      • kdaddy23

        27 April 2016 at 18:10

        If you really knew me, you’d know that I’m not barely bisexual; I just don’t do things in a way other people expect me to – never did, never will… and because I don’t have to “follow the crowd” or uphold standards that I’ve proven doesn’t work for me, like putting my eggs in the basket of attraction when everyone else demands that attraction is a must.

        I know it isn’t. I know what Kinsey wrote about the scale but what’s gets lost in quantifying bisexuality is self-perception – what do YOU think your sexuality is and what’s the best way for you to act on it? What works for you, what gets your blood boiling and a raging erection? I’m bisexual in my own way and no matter what Kinsey said – but isn’t everyone?

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    • kdaddy23

      27 April 2016 at 17:54

      The scale is an adequate example of the fluidity of sexuality and after reading the report, wow, where am I really? I tend to think I’m a 2 or a 3… depending where my thoughts and feelings are and when someone asks me where I am on the scale (imagine me smiling broadly).

      That I can’t call myself a definitive 2 or a 3 at least tells me this apparent fluidity is more fluid – and it makes sense since there’s much fluidity in my thinking and literally from one moment to the next. The general angst about bisexuals is that we can’t make up our minds but we do, in fact, make up our minds – we choose both.

      Team Kinsey did a good job defining and even quantifying something that was hard to do at the time; they gave us a point of reference when there really wasn’t one. Great stuff. Today, some say this long-standing standard is inadequate and needs overhauling and revamping to match today’s sexuality mindset – maybe it does or maybe we are all overthinking all of this.

      Maybe we’re overlooking the obvious and making this harder than it has to be? I’m no expert in human sexuality… but I know me and I constantly question myself about this while looking at what everyone else is thinking and saying about this; some I agree with, some I don’t but I am exactly what I want to be and in the way that fits me the best. Two or three on the scale? Okay, I guess that best describes me – depending. My own opinion is that we spend too much time worry about what and how and not so much about why. It is so complex that most people can’t think too long about why lest their brain overloads.

      The scale and, indeed, bisexuality as a whole, is not a one-size-fits-all thing; we do what we do for the reasons that makes the most sense to us and in the ways that brings us the most satisfaction sexually, emotionally, intellectually, and all of the above when applicable.

      This is how I’m bisexual; my “student” is bisexual but different than I am; as a “pending bisexual,” you are different, too. I try to keep it as simple as I can; I try to make it easy for men to engage with me – doesn’t always work but nothing is foolproof.

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    • kdaddy23

      27 April 2016 at 17:56

      Oh, I don’t get miffed; I just don’t put a lot of importance on attraction for why I do what I love doing. Subjective, not objective.

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      • BLake

        27 April 2016 at 18:07

        Isn’t a 3 the 50/50 type of bisexual?

        But anyways thank you. Do you have anything else to add in regards to my other questions? I think I can concede enough to move on that you’re a different kind of bi guy even if it “barely” is but would like a little bit more deats, but not necessary.

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      • kdaddy23

        27 April 2016 at 18:18

        Yep, I’m a “different” kind of bi guy; you say barely and with respect I just shrug about it because if I don’t know anything else, I know me.

        Is there anything else you’d like to know? If I can answer, I will and if I don’t know, I’ll tell you I don’t know.

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      • BLake

        27 April 2016 at 18:22

        1. I see, so you mean hot in a socially conventional way not as in you find him sexually arousing in and of itself. And what you really find attractive about him is his mind.

        3. Excuse me, I couldn’t find a better word but fetish. But you used a better one. “Oral fixation” So a straight guy with an oral fixation for penis?(even more of a mouthful). I say that because of how much you don’t care for men other than sucking them yet you love women just like any other straight guy.

        I’ve heard of straight guys that like dick but like nothing else about men. They’ve even said that they’d love a transgender women with a nice dick because they like the female form and sucking dick just like you. So I kinda figured that you’re on of them.

        4. So for guys it’s what’s on the inside?

        5. The one I refereed to is the sexual and/or romantic attraction to both men and women which can apply to varying degrees. Yours seem to be as heavily one sides and a see-saw with an avil on one side and a pillow on the other.😄

        “which is different from the one I learned all those years ago.”

        Which is? Not sure if it was mentioned here, but if it was I missed it.

        6. Couldn’t one argue since you’re attracted to sucking their penies (the quintessential male part) that you are attracted to men on at least that level, coupled with your mental standards and how what’s on the inside attracts you to them?

        7. I see, but how do you intimate is what I meant, like If you are one grindr for example. How do you pick out a guy to scrutinize? I get the feeling you don’t use the app, but if you did and there’s the grid full of profiles how do you get going? Do you just shotgun it when you’re in the mood?

        It’s interesting how you say attraction is over rated, as I’ve rarely had sex with a guy I was attracted to and to me it feel so much better when it’s someone you actually find attractive.

        It’s also interesting that you bring up what’s in the mind. I think I can relate to that. I have a current fuck buddy who I’m not attracted to, in fact I find him slightly physically revolting, but his beliefs, his personality and the way we click attract me to him in an unique way.

        I guess, that’s just how you feel about guys?

        Thank you again for taking time to answer my questions. I think I might be kinda bi too, and even in a similar roundabout way just like you. I think that’s why I’m pressing so hard. I like the personality behind your blogs and hope to have such a spirit by your age.

        You weren’t kidding when you said you’re atypical. I just want to pick your brain like a surgeon, as a gay guy with bisexual tendencies as of late I want to understand the sexuality of others so I can compare and understand mines. I was flustered and frustrated with you identity as a bisexual, but SHIIIIIT!!! If you were on here saying you’re totally straight I would’ve said “Well, aren’t at least a little bisexual” So I guess I’m just being silly.

        I’m a 22 black cis fem, bottom in case that provides any context.

        8. “I’m bisexual in my own way”

        So when you say that what do you mean? What is your own personal standard for bisexuality? And when I said barely I meant as in terms of attraction.

        And sorry, what I meant by “barely” was in reference to your attraction to men. I don’t question the details of your sexuality, just the label a bit. I get teh feeling that when many people see you refer yourself as bisexual its not the impression they get (if they belive you in the first place)

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      • kdaddy23

        27 April 2016 at 20:03

        First my apologies; I should have asked about your “demographics.” Okay, in order:

        1. You pretty much nailed it. I know he’s an attractive man – I’m not blind – but, yes, what goes on in his head is more attractive and that’s where the truth of us all lives.

        3. Yep… another mouthful. I’ve spent my life trying to explain this about myself and, oh, yeah, I love to suck cock and the closest thing that explains it is oral fixation; that thrills me more than laying the pipe to a guy does (or having it done to me) but make no mistake: nice done lots of both things and loved it all – but I found my niche, as it were and it equals my passion for burying my face between a woman’s legs. I’ve been with what we called back then a transvestite, complete with breasts and a cock… it was interesting but not something I’d be eager to do again – call me old fashioned but I like my women without the male hardware, thanks.

        I like a lot of stuff about guys; I just do not place any importance on their looks as a determining factor.

        4. Pretty much; I know what interests me about people and that’s not found on the outside.

        5. Interesting thought and I do have my biases, to say. I like what I like in the way I like it and I can’t say it any better than that. The definition I read decades ago made no references to gender, the new hot button bisexual topic lately.

        6. One can and have argued that point exactly. I’ve loved a man and in every sense that can mean, even had a deep and meaningful relationship with him. I wouldn’t say that it could never happen again but I know what could trigger it again… and it wouldn’t be his cock.

        7. Nope, don’t use Grindr and if I did, I’d read profiles and if one resonated with me, I’d check the guy out and poke through his brain to see if it’s possible to hook up. In the mood? The only time I’m not in the mood for sex is when I’m not feeling well.

        Now, if you can find something attractive about a person you’re gonna have sex with, that does work – question is, what do you find attractive that adds that special something extra? Is it impossible to have sex with someone who’s not “classically” attractive? Most people say no; I say it isn’t because, um, been there, done that, had fun anyway.

        I don’t mind having my brain picked – it’s why I write this particular topic because I want others to know and to ask questions. Yes, the way I’m bisexual confuses people – I’m just not what they think I should be. I do my level best to explain it; sometimes I nail it, sometimes I don’t but someone should speak on the real about this… and I guess I volunteered. They think we’re all the same and we most certainly are not. They have concepts about us that aren’t the whole truth or overly idealistic, like if you’re not in a same-sex relationship, then you can’t be bi.

        I beg to differ and I have the nerve to write about it. A lot. A guy who has sex with another guy but swears by all that’s holy that he’s straight makes me roll my eyes; he says he’s not that duck even though he acts like one. People disagree with me all the time but like I said, I know who and what I am better than anyone could ever know.

        I am that duck – quack, quack. I’m not hetero- or homoflexible, genderqueer, or any of the other terms floating around. I am bisexual and have been long before these terms were coined. The word/label does not bother me like it does so many others; I accept it because I live and embody it every day I wake up.

        I own this…

        Like

         
      • BLake

        27 April 2016 at 20:44

        5. ” I like what I like in the way I like it and I can’t say it any better than that.”

        Hmm? That’s your definition of bisexual?

        “The definition I read decades ago made no references to gender”

        Which is? I think I’ve read about an outdated version of the word. TMK the current definition was made in like the 60’s

        6. But you see where I’m coming from right? Like I think to have such a sexual fixation on it and based on other things you’ve said imply at least SOME degree of attraction no not total lack of it?

        7.

        Who would you pick first in that pick?

        “I am that duck – quack, quack. I’m not hetero- or homoflexible”
        Why not? I like to see the flexible as a “weak” bisexuality. subsets of it if you will. It seems to be used as a caveat/addendum to a monsexuals sexuality, like “I’m straight, but I like to suck dick, but that’s it”

        Like I for instance prefer to refer to myself as gay with bisexual tendencies

        “A guy who has sex with another guy but swears by all that’s holy that he’s straight makes me roll my eyes; he says he’s not that duck even though he acts like one…..I know who and what I am better than anyone could ever know.”

        But then doesn’t that apply for the flexible? As in they know themselves better than you?

        “I don’t mind having my brain picked ”

        If you say so, *grabs pickaxe* and don’t be afraid to tell me when you’re over it. But I think were getting closer to 10% satisfaction on my part, not that you have to satisfy me.

        Like

         
      • kdaddy23

        27 April 2016 at 22:21

        Have you looked up “bisexual” in a dictionary? I’m familiar with the one from back in the 60s… since I lived them. The current version of the Merriam-Webster defines bisexual as, “sexually attracted to both men and women” where the definition from the 60s version of this same dictionary said “sexually and/or emotionally attracted to both sexes.”

        See? Different. The current version leaves out the emotional aspect, something I found curious because, indeed, a lot of people were flat out dissing the emotional aspects, like love, deep affection – whatever you wanna call it. When I first read it, I scoffed at it; what, me be emotionally attracted to a man? When it happened, I stopped scoffing. Even still, some read this old definition and somehow assume that both things must be true for one to be bisexual – and that’s just not the case… and maybe the current dictionary definition assumes that if you’re sexually attracted, you must be emotionally or romantically attracted.

        Again, not the truth, if that’s what’s being implied. If you’re sexually attracted and by whatever that means to you to both men and women, you’re bisexual. Emotionally but not sexually attracted? Bisexual. Got both going for you? Kudos to you and hope you’re having the time of your life!

        No, that’s not a definition; it’s a truism that applies to me and most people I know. The first definition I read works for me fine; the newer one raises my eyebrows because I know that bisexuality isn’t just sexual.

        Now, use your favorite search engine and look for e definition of bisexual and tell me how many different versions of it you find.

        Define “attraction” for me and in exacting, precise detail, if you can. Gods, I hear so many talk about attraction being the most important thing and it’s mostly superficial and growing up when I did – and to escape some of the major problems some guys like me had, I had to look past the accept meaning and look deeper; what’s your personality like? Do you like music? Where do you stand politically? What makes you the person you are? The list is very, very long. Am I attracted to men as I am to women? No.

        I’ve watched guys looking at other guys and see them practically pass out from the sudden rush of blood to their crotches. I look at that same guy… and I see another guy. Is that weird? Some – most people think so; I accept that this is how I am. I can very much appreciate beauty in many things, even people – again, not blind.

        It’s just me; I don’t have to be attracted to you to have sex with you; at the very least, if I find you interesting, that works. Do I “focus” on the sex I can have with guys? Guilty as charged. Do I need to feel chemistry before the fact? Nope; if I wanna do you and you, by whatever means you use, want to be done by me, great; when and where and even how, if applicable?

        I’m attracted by the female form – I’m a guy, what can I say? Love breasts, butts, legs, smiles, eyes – all that good stuff. Who’s the person beneath all of this? Shitty attitudes aren’t attractive and, yes, that would be my definition of that that could include the generally accepted one as well. With men, yep, I can very much appreciate the male form…who’s the guy underneath? I see a big cock and I can appreciate its beauty; does that mean I wanna jump all over it?

        Nope; learned that lesson the hard way, I’m afraid. All this might mean something to a great many people – doesn’t carry weight with me. I can like someone who others don’t find attractive; I can hang out with them, have mad crazy sex with them, be dear friends with them. Because what I find attractive cannot be easily seen and you cannot easily put it into words – I’ve tried and I fail more often than I get close to succeeding. But I know what it is and I know it when I feel it and with my eyes closed and my fingers in my ears.

        My eyes can deceive me – have deceived me in my past so I don’t trust them. Everything I hear may or may not be the truth and I’ve been fooled before like that. Where’s the attraction? It’s in there somewhere and I have to look for it, even if it’s not a whole lot – I do try to find something “attractive” even if it simply comes down to, “I want to have sex with you – are you game?” If you say yes, uh-huh, that works; if you say no, well, maybe I don’t fit your definition of what’s attractive.

        Sex – just doing the nasty – is attractive. The beauty of it, the intimacy, the lust and passion and no matter if the partner is male or female. I know I have a weird way of looking at all of this – but it has worked for me for over five decades… and counting.

        If there is something I can find attractive about you, I will look for it, provided, of course, I find you interesting. Having an interest is easy – most people interest me. Being attracted in some general sense? Harder to do, not without digging deeper and not paying a lot of attention to the packaging. Do absolutely, positively need to be attracted to someone to have sex with them (in particular)?

        No. You could be ugly on the outside and not so good looking on the inside but if you wanna do it and you can be trusted not to make me sick with something and not put me in a position where I have to defend myself, sure, let’s do it… because I can always get up for having sex – and sometimes, that vulnerable moment can reveal something that will attract me… or not… but I just got laid and that works.

        Looking at those guys you provided? I don’t know who I’d pick just looking at them and it’s not easy to read body language or decipher interest just because a guy looks cute or is smiling, has a nice bod. If I read a profile, that would narrow down choices because words have power. If the words resonate with me, further investigation is warranted – and it’s not what they’ve written; sometimes, it’s how they wrote it or what they didn’t say. Push come to shove – and if “forced” to pick one of those guys, I’d flip a coin in my head or go “eeny, meenie, miney, mo.”

        If I were interested. But assuming I was, I need more information; I’m horny but not careless and my libido doesn’t run things here – I do.

        Why not either of those words? They rub me the wrong way and they feel wrong and more so when people are kind enough to explain their version. Here’s the thing: How is this different from being bisexual? It’s perception, which I find hilarious. People hold true to the saying that actions speak louder than words – except where this is concerned. If you say you’re heteroflexible but you act like a bisexual, um, why not say you’re bisexual?

        I’ve been told that – get this – what they do doesn’t define them as bisexual. Really? So words do have a louder voice after all? I’m not a straight guy who occasionally likes cock as a change of pace – I like it 24/7 just like I do with what women have to offer. Ask me to pick one or the other… and I’ll tell you I want both, please and thank you.

        Do they know themselves better than I do? Of course they do… but just like you think I’m .8 Kinsey, I think heteroflexibles don’t make sense to me, not when they act just like I do and for some of the same reasons. I respect this, can accept that this is how they see themselves, don’t have to agree with it.

        They say heteroflexible or whatever; I say I’m bisexual. End of the day, it’s about what floats your boat.

        Only ten percent? I must be slipping… Seriously, it’s not satisfaction as much as I am willing to help you understand what kind of bisexual I am and if the responses satisfy you, I’m good with that; if not, well, not much I can do about that, is there? At least I tried, even if I fail and I have failed before but not for a lack of trying.

        Your turn: what do you mean by “potentially bisexual?” See, now you have me interested…

        Like

         
      • BLake

        27 April 2016 at 23:04

        That 60’s definition is what is bisexuality for a lot of people though. Even in varying degrees. I think most people who belive in bisexuality already know that people can be bisexual to varying degrees. I don’t know a bisexual believer that doesn’t know that.

        “Define “attraction” for me and in exacting, precise detail, if you can”

        That depends, what type of attraction? I see sexual attraction as the physical or mental desire to want to have sex with someone.

        “Am I attracted to men as I am to women? No.”

        I wonder, why is that? Why do you have to scrutinize men so much? have you not had bad experience with women too?

        ” Because what I find attractive cannot be easily seen and you cannot easily put it into words”

        I think I already have a good idea of what you mean…you’re attracted to their “heart” or “soul” if you will. But that’s my point it’s some manifestation of attraction.

        “My eyes can deceive me – have deceived me in my past so I don’t trust them. ”

        Is that why you aren’t attracted to men?

        “ow is this different from being bisexual? ”

        I like to think of it as monosexual but with a caveat. But bisexual there is no caveat when it comes to attraction of any kind to the sexes.

        “If you say you’re heteroflexible but you act like a bisexual, um, why not say you’re bisexual?”

        Well If they’re similar but not exactly the same, think of them as like kinsey .5’s or 5.8’s or at least that’s how I see it.

        “Only ten percent?”

        Derp, typo I meant 100%

        “what do you mean by “potentially bisexual?””

        Like

         
      • kdaddy23

        28 April 2016 at 00:04

        I’ve had my share of bad experiences with men and women; why scrutinize men in particular? It’s what we’ve been talking about, what my attraction may be, and my assertion that when asked if I find men attractive, I say I don’t, not as a matter of course, and not like I’m almost automatically attracted to women.

        Gets pretty weird, huh? But this is what I’ve lived with, hammered myself with a billion questions, because even I find this weird… but I accept it because of nothing else, I’ve been consistent in this.

        It’s the one thing about this and me that hasn’t changed. Does or should it be changed? I used to think so and I have consistently failed to get hyped merely looking at someone because, as I’ve said, I’ve let what I see and what I hear mess things up for me too many times to take attraction as mandatory and as a given and certainly not in the same way other believe this should happen.

        I don’t fit the general description; doesn’t mean I’m not bisexual. A good looking man will not really light my fire; nor does a good looking woman. I can appreciate what I see… but what I see isn’t all there is. And if my words are unconvincing, well, um, my actions speak volumes on either side of the fence. If they wanna have sex – in particular – I’m pretty easy; just ask and I just might say yes… but if I say no, I have reasons for it – but “attraction” in that generally accepted sense isn’t why I might say no. Women have a better chance than men do – just the way I am.

        Doesn’t make a lot of sense… but I am the one who really has to understand it even when my understanding isn’t mainstream.

        Ah, thank you for answering my question – and I understand it because I had similar questions about myself… without the repression. One part of me always tells me that this is wrong but it also feels right – guess which thing I listen to?

        In this, people are more fluid in their desires than they may be aware of. Sometimes all I want is a nice hard cock; sometimes I’m not even thinking about it and i don’t find this unusual because, literally, I’m not the same person from one moment to the next. And I’m used to the way I think, even if it gives me the giggles at times.

        I’ve been asked by folks in your “situation” what they should do… and I usually ask, “What do you want to do?” What should you do? Accept that you feel and think this way and what you decide to do or not do is entirely up to you. That’s the hard part and if you were to ask me – and you didn’t – I would spend the next several months picking your brain to find the answer that will ultimately work for you.

        Even if no one else would find that answer agreeable or sensible. Your sexuality and mine are not some arbitrary constructs: This is real life stuff and while someone can advise you or help you make a choice/decision one way or the other, it’s your call. It’s about what you want, what you need to be who you need to be.

        It’s about what works for you and it is both very scary and daunting. Some would see what you wrote about your dual personality and think you’re nuts; I think you’re quite normal because some do express a duality in their personalities – even I felt that way once upon a time and it would mess with me until I figured out how to integrate this duality into a single viewpoint that makes sense to me.

        I don’t struggle with the details of my sexuality and I don’t believe anyone should; this is some seriously complex stuff that’s not easy to sort out; I’m 60 and I still don’t have it totally straight and I probably never will – and I’m okay with that because I do know how I want to pursue love, sex, and relationships: Make it easier, not harder.

        These things are not static and even I am aware that I might wake up one morning, see a guy and get so turned on it wouldn’t be funny. Hasn’t happened yet and for the sole purpose of giving a guy head, I don’t need it – all I need is the desire to do it, some good judgement, and for the other guy to say yes. Women, well, they have to be handled differently…but even with them, beauty is only skin deep and I damned well know that any unattractive ugliness is deep to the bone and that goes for men, too.

        I’ve enjoyed this very much; thank you for wanting to ask questions and contemplate the answers!

        Like

         
      • BLake

        28 April 2016 at 00:29

        I think the thing I’m trying to do is pin point at least some semblance of attraction from what you say even if it isn’t the traditional automatic sexual kind. The way I see it what you’ve described and how you feel about men is a form of attraction, just not the kind most have bisexual or otherwise.

        I’ve been trying so hard to find something and go “AH HA!!!, that’s his attraction” I’m trying so hard to rationalize your identity to make myself feel better.

        “I would spend the next several months picking your brain to find the answer that will ultimately work for you.”

        I would like that. I like being mentally analyzed.

        I try to think of indulging my straight side more, but I’m not well cut out for the straight world. I hear women are a bitch to date and get in bed compared to guys and with all the rape accusations and gender roles the straight sex world is too much for me. But even now thinking about it gives me a “half chub” that I’m holding back

        I wish I could just go back to how I was when I was 12, so madly attracted to guys that i’d become mute.

        I’m somewhat uncomfortable with this discussion, not because of you. It’s just that I’m annoyed with my sexuality and you’re so atypical, but then I read what you have to say and you make sense however weird it maybe.

        Like

         
      • kdaddy23

        28 April 2016 at 00:58

        Hell, I’m looking for that “Ah ha!” moment myself but I’ve gotten used to being kinda atypical. The only person that can make you feel better this you – and you need to find a reason for wanting to feel better.

        It isn’t easy to do and it’s not easy to determine what exactly being attracted means where you are concerned. I know it requires some deep self-examination while getting as much external input you can get.

        First, don’t be uncomfortable or annoyed with yourself, unless you like having headaches. The answers you seek are within you – just a matter of digging them out and bringing them to the surface. You ask the hard questions until the right answers for how you want to be in this. If you need help getting to the answers, ask somebody; a lot of “budding bisexuals” don’t do this because they fear being judged in an unkind light.

        What, when, why, where, and how are the questions to be answered; “where” doesn’t makes sense right now but, trust me, it will. And you shouldn’t be afraid of the answers, even if some of them are, “I don’t know… yet.”

        What can I do to help? If I can, I will, if you wish it. No one should do this alone and that includes you as well. Email me if you want to… and let’s get to work.

        Like

         
      • BLake

        28 April 2016 at 01:06

        Thank you for your answers and your advice. my email is sailornaruto39@gmail.com

        But I feel at somewhat at peace talking to you about it With regards to your sexuality I’ve come to my own conclusions and rationalizations, as in your attractions to men just manifest differently, but not in the same way as women.. And with mines I feel like it;” figure itself out, these kinds of things usually do for me. I’ll be over it for at least a few week in a few days after some sleep.

        I haven’t done a big dig into sexuality in a year, I guess this is 2016’s, but I’m not sure what you can do to help per se. I think I need to just get up and say “Fuck it, I’m bi and I’m over it”

        I have a series of question for when I’m 40 and what my sexuality is then is one of them XD

        Like

         
      • kdaddy23

        28 April 2016 at 01:16

        One introductory email coming right up… wait for it and don’t let it go to spam!

        Like

         
      • BLake

        28 April 2016 at 00:34

        I feel like I’ve been trying too hard to prove to myself how gay I am. I’ve tried having gay sex and it hasn’t helped. It’s still enjoyable as usual but it doesn’t do anything.

        I’m really hoping it’s a phase. I was told once that sometimes gays question their gayness when they have a serious of bad relationship, for me it’s dozens of sexual experiences that arent sexually satisfying as they could be because of all the ugly guys I’ve fucked with. I’m thinking if I guy more guys that look like 6+ and fucks like 7+ I’ll get over these feelings for women.

        Like

         
      • kdaddy23

        28 April 2016 at 01:13

        Hmm… how does one prove how gay they are? Most folks I know try to prove that they’re not gay. Someone could be a ten in bed but what does that mean other than the obvious? They could be a ten out of the bed… again, what does that mean beyond the obvious? Does someone really have to be a ten in either way for you to be happy with yourself?

        If a two in looks were a seven or higher in bed, and treated you well, does their looks matter more… or does the end product matter more? Could a guy make you forget your desires for women? Maybe… I wouldn’t bet my life on it, though; nothing is really static. Maybe you don’t like the desire for women? Doesn’t change the fact it exists, does it?

        Not all that unusual for someone to say, “If I could get hooked up with the right guy/gal, these other feelings will go away!” – then the person uttering these words learns otherwise.

        Like

         
      • BLake

        27 April 2016 at 23:11

        “what do you mean by “potentially bisexual?””

        I have been questioning my sexuality since 2012 and 3 times this week I have masturbated at the thought of having sex with a woman and watched straight porn featuring female ejaculation and it was one of the most intense orgasms I’ve ever had, But right now I’ve reverted back to not really caring for women sexually, but it’ll be back.

        I have been offered sex with women a few times and actually carrying it out scares me. I feel like this is due to the duality in my personality. I have a gay fem, bttm, bitchy side and a straight(seemingly), masculine, top polite side, but he’s quite most of the time and not very active.

        I think four years of suppressing any sexual attraction towards women has made him angry and now he won’t stop.

        I know at this rate I’ll be fully homo-dominant bisexual by the time I’m your age, but right now it feels so wrong and right at the same time sometimes

        Like

         
  3. rougedmount

    29 April 2016 at 11:26

    “What I really need is to be willing and able to (HAVE SEX)… I just don’t need a whole lot to get naked and have sex.”
    Your comment, made me realize those times you get frustrated with me around my inability to “just be willing to”, is because it is very different than your mindset. What comes naturally to you, is a monumental task for me. More than that, for me, sex which has an emotional connect for me, simply feels better. I actually envy your ability to be so free and able to simply enjoy the moment and experience. The rules I have about my own sexuality, enhance my experience once I have it. And I wait for it until I feel the connection will lead into something which will last long enough for me to experience the fullness I am looking for,

    Like

     
    • kdaddy23

      29 April 2016 at 12:02

      My dearest Rouged, I know our mindsets are very different but what really frustrates me is when you get frustrated because you have the power to not be frustrated… and you won’t exercise that power in your way of doing so. You know what you need to float your boat and you know damned well how to get that which you need…

      But your devotion frustrates you and you know I adore the hell out of you because despite it all, you keep hanging in there no one else in your situation would. You get frustrated… and I get frustrated, not that I have any right to, mind you, because you set yourself up to fail when you can easily not fail.

      Me, I’ve learned that if that connection isn’t there at the beginning, I can create enough of one to make any sex damned pleasurable and not require the other person to jumpstart my list and passion. Then again, I’m a guy; emotional content and connecting is nice to have but just being horny and wanting to bone you works, too.

      That’s why I always tell you to handle your business in any way you can; I just do not like seeing you frustrated when you know you don’t have to be frustrated. I love sex so much that I do whatever I can to make having it easier, not harder – but not be stupid about it; always horny, not always totally insane.

      Liked by 1 person

       
      • rougedmount

        29 April 2016 at 13:41

        lol.. made me laugh! you know the one thing i have discovered over the years? as angry as i’ve been by my husband and as hurt as i’ve been…actually divorcing him has never been a real option for me. i’ve resented him from witholding sex..i’ve gone up and down in terms of acceptance of HIS sexuality (or lack of) i just can’t imagine a person with no sex drive.

        Like

         
      • kdaddy23

        29 April 2016 at 13:52

        Well, yeah, I know you’re not gonna divorce him and why and your resentment is damned understandable. Your determination to keep trying is beyond commendable, brave, and honorably dedicated… but when it’s time for some much needed relief from the stresses and strains you endure with him and this, damnit, get it done, don’t regret it, and tomorrow’s another day.

        Sometimes you do… and I support you and your decisions to get yours. Just don’t like it when you’re frustrated…

        Like

         
      • rougedmount

        29 April 2016 at 13:56

        well to be fair..once i am frustrated the man on the receiving end is one very lucky man.

        Like

         
      • kdaddy23

        29 April 2016 at 13:59

        I’d say he is!

        Liked by 1 person

         

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What Perspective Matters Most Depends on Your Perception

Kittykat-bitsandbobs

Just my random thoughts and meanderings... I'll try to keep you entertained

Roller Coaster Life of a Fat Girl

Highs and Lows of My Weight Loss Journey

smallpenisbigissues

when and why size matters

rouge

I write when the choice is to die if I don't

My SEXuality

Why am I afraid to tell you who I'am?

Confessions of a Cheating Housewife

...because love just isn't enough ;)

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