Chances are good that I’ve written about this in one form or another before but since this blog is about what’s in my head…
Cityman, who’ve I’ve been mentoring for a while now, and I talk about this a lot and he’s almost the perfect example of a guy who went through most of his life chasing women, having a bit of curiosity about this man sex thing, but never really saw himself participating until, of course, he wound up doing just that. We don’t talk about doing as much as we talk about the other aspects of the man to man thing, the psychology of it, the social, moral, and religious aspects, and while he’s still adjusting to some differences and situations, he’s one of many men who have discovered that, for example, getting into a 69 with another guy isn’t just a fun thing to do – it makes a lot of sense.
Sexuality purists, well, they don’t agree with this; such things are still seen as being immoral, perverted and just downright nasty and I’ve heard many say that this doesn’t make sense given that there are so many women in the world who’d be more than willing to have sex. They’re right about that and only because the law of averages tends to prove this which is why these purists can’t seem to understand why “Mike” and “Ike” would want to get naked and have sex with each other… and it’s been my belief this understanding escapes them because they’re overlooking the obvious:
It’s sex. Okay, so maybe they do understand that and what’s really baking their noodle is that, by and large, it’s not relationship sex, which is probably why there are a lot of folks who are having issues with bisexuality because they just cannot imagine being in a relationship setting, not like gay men appear to prefer. I say “appear to prefer” because, um, not all gay men want to be in a relationship either and a series of sexual encounters really does work for the way they wanna live their lives and, oh, yeah, a Friends With Benefits (FWB) arrangement is a kind of relationship – it’s all the perks and conveniences of being in a relationship without, um, all of the headaches and responsibilities of being in a normal, committed relationship.
Men have been having sex with men since before recorded history but has been on the “no fly” list since the advent of religion and, no, I’m not gonna launch into another explanation about why this was put on lockdown. Still, Cityman and I agree that (and we are obviously not the only men who do) there’s something really screwy (no pun) about continuing to prohibit something that we’ve always been doing, that the ongoing efforts to keep “Mike” and “Ike” from having sex with each other are, essentially, a colossal waste of time and effort because at this very moment, somewhere in this big beautiful world, a “Mike”and an “Ike” are sexing each other like it’s illegal… oh, yeah, that’s right, it is illegal in some places, isn’t it? In some of those places, the punishment is still death… which hasn’t stopped a “Mike” and “Ike” duo from doing it to each other.
We talk about an annoying double standard, that our society feels that a bisexual woman is very and highly acceptable (some lesbians beg to differ, though) but a bisexual man is the scum of the earth and the lowest of the low… but in some circles, a bisexual woman is just a fake and a phony because they use the allure of girl-on-girl sex as an entrapment tool to get a man, thus placing another measure of shame onto women who are, in fact, bisexual because, um, like bisexual men, they like pussy and dick… but it’s also kinda screwy that some bisexual women don’t understand why a guy would be bisexual.
We talk about the social stigma and how it seems that, here of late, more men are shaking off the stain of that stigma and saying that the pleasure of a bro-job trumps the social disapproval of men doing something that, oddly enough, women are expected to do without question or complaint (anyone find this kinda screwy as well?). We talk about how “simple” it is – just invoke “I won’t tell if you won’t” and let the fun begin. As the old joke goes, it’s mind over matter… and if you don’t mind, it doesn’t matter. It epitomizes no strings attached (NSA) sex; dude, I don’t wanna date you, sure as shit don’t want to marry you, but I’m not gonna say no to having my dick sucked and if you got the balls to suck a dick, anything you can do, I can do, too.
It’s not that we’ve developed a mysoginistic mindset toward women (some have but I’m not talking about them today); we love women and pussy (and like y’all didn’t know that already) but there are some situations than can come up (no pun again😃) where what’ll take care of our pre-programmed craving for sex is a quick, NSA, hand or blow job (at the least) and there’s a guy right next to you with that same craving and need for instant gratification and, again, dude, if you don’t mind, neither do I and I ain’t gonna say shit if you aren’t, either, aight?
For a lot of us, this isn’t an emotional decision – it’s a logical one even though it’s borne out of lust: yes, sometimes we do think with our dick. Some want that emotional connection – not talking about them today either – but the thing that galls a lot of people about men sexing men is that we will do it simply because we’re horny and that it can be done even though many still find it distasteful and unnecessary, immoral and taboo.
And for a lot of men, that’s a good enough reason to buck the system. Cityman’s told me of the many moments he’s seen when the atmosphere was ripe for a bro-job to hop off but it didn’t; I’ve told him of the many moments when that same atmosphere was present and it did hop off and I was there to either witness it or, yup, participate in it. Granted, it’s not risk free… but sex is inherently risky and always has been. But if you know this and you’re smart enough to know how to avoid the risks, uh, why not?
Bi men are said to be mindless and indiscriminate when we do this and I beg to differ because we do think about it – we just don’t spend a whole lot of time thinking about it. They say that a woman can decide in five minutes whether or not she’s gonna let you have sex with her; I’ve seen guys decide to have sex with another guy in a minute or less and can go something like this:
“Man, my balls are aching! I need to empty them big time!’
“Yeah, mine, too!”
“Shit, I wouldn’t mind getting my dick sucked right about now!”
“I know that’s right! I wouldn’t say no to some head myself!”
“Shit, a hand job would work…”
“Yeah it would…”
Now, this actual conversation might take a minute or two… but it took them scant seconds to think and decide that if he’s down with it, let’s get it going – I ain’t gonna tell. Now it’s just a matter of which one of them are actually gonna say what they’re both thinking. I’ve seen guys play this game, just throwing hints out there like Frisbees; I’ve seen the version where one guy will actually pull his dick out and drop similar verbal hints – and act like its no big deal that he’s sitting with a dude and playing with his own dick in front of the guy – what, you mean to tell me you’re not getting the hint, man?
Just watching this, hearing the hints being spoken and reading the body language, has made me want to bust out laughing at how damned obvious it is. Once upon a time, oh, yeah, the hint was sent and received… but fear prevented the obvious from happening. Not any more, it seems…