I’ve been around for a while now – in 61 days, 15 hours, 3 minutes, 5 seconds, I’ll be 61 (thanks, Cortana for helping me figure this out) and I’m amazed at how far M2M sex has progressed, from being something that only gay men engaged in to straight dudes doing the bro thing when that edge needs to be taken off and waiting to get to a woman ain’t gonna cut it. It’s been going from the underworld of the DL, where one could indulge while escaping the shame and stigma of this kind of sex, to not quite being a matter of course – that’ll take a lot more time.
There was a time when you could watch gay porn and not see a man of color present; it kinda gave a mixed message because ya just knew gay men of color existed (a lot of them where I grew up) but all you saw on movie media were all kinds of white men; today, you see Blacks, Hispanics, even Orientals sucking dick and putting dicks of all shapes and sizes to work in male asses. On Tumblr, there’s been an explosion of Black men laying the pipe to other Black men, fisting each other, sucking sick, and even some stuff that I find disgusting (and I won’t say what that stuff is); it seems that professional porn is seen as deficient and there’s more amateur porn surfacing and being shared (without cost) thanks to cell phone technology. To think something like this could be done with a device you can clip to your belt or stick in your pocket was totally unheard of decades ago.
Now it’s pretty commonplace.
Some time ago now, I wrote about the “bro job,” this allegedly ‘new’ phenomenon of straight guys having sex with other straight guys thanks to the bromance; not all bromances graduate to sexual things but what might have started out as a joke and a way to tease guys who had a close friendship seems to be following a logical conclusion, i.e., if people think we’re screwing each other in a bromance, um, well, shit – why not go for it? The bro job isn’t new – been there, seen it, done it – but it’s becoming a lot more mainstream and, yes, as was brought to my attention the other day, there is now an app for that. There were rumors that the app was gonna show up and there was this one version that actually didn’t do anything… this new on (called “Bro”) does work although it needs some tweaking.
All of this has gone from being a feminine thing to do… to almost being a rite of male passage in that if you can’t suck dick and take it in the ass – and be able to lay the pipe good and hard – your manliness could be called into question in some quarters and, oh, before I forget, you can now do any or all of this and still maintain that you’re heterosexual. Yeah, yep, that kind of blatant denial doesn’t make a lot of sense but it’s been getting more men naked without other men, not because of love and romance, but to simply and plainly have more sex by taking those traditional taboos by the tail and dropping them head first into a wood chipper.
The angst and stigma are both still in place and it just stands to reason that there will always be people who believe that men have no business engaging in sexual congress with other men and that, like the sin of Onan, is so heinous that the only punishment seen as suitable is death. By the way, does anyone know what Onan’s sin was? Google it; it’s actually kinda interesting… but I digress.
I don’t see this evolution as just being about sexuality as much as it’s a giant leap in the evolution of sexual expression while finding reason to set the rules aside; guys and gals have always been willing to set the rules aside and so much that it’s actually quite socially acceptable for women to bed each other and experience sex in a way that men cannot duplicate and gives some in the lesbian section fits and in the same way that bisexual men give some gay men hissy fits to end all hissy fits. To that end, the question of a rapidly deteriorating morality has come up, that we’ve become to inured with the pleasures of the flesh and dangerously so… and I don’t necessarily agree with that assessment considering that when we were at our most moral, uh, this kind of sex still existed and flourished.
While there’s nothing wrong with following the rules of heteronormativity (and even homosexuals play by those rules), what’s becoming apparent to more men and women (not gonna forget y’all) is that the heteronormative model isn’t the only path to sexual satisfaction but, then again, it never was as single-source as our guiding morality said it should be. Whether this is a good thing or not depends on your own point of view; I’m just supplying my take about what I’ve been seeing in this area of human behavior from the time I became aware of this through present day observations.
Not all men believe that it’s okay for two guys to have sex under any circumstances or reason… but more guys are of a mind to think, “If Herb wants to blow me – and I need to be blown – okay,my where’s the harm in it?” Those who remain firmly against this mindset say that’s there’s a lot of harm in it and more than there is having sex in the conventional ways, accurately pointing out the risks to one’s health and to existing (and even potential) relationships… but those risks have always existed and includes conventional boy/girl sex… but I’ve been wondering if the state of the world as a whole, which isn’t good, is telling folks (and men in particular) that the risks are justified and acceptable?
I dunno… there’s some correlation here between human behavior and when times are hard and bad, like how the last world war lent itself to the baby boom of the fifties; people get stressed and they wanna fuck to take their minds off the woes of the world. A lot of us were around when Flower Power and the sexual revolution sprang into existence and it seems that the revolution has begun anew here lately – but it’s a revolution of defiance with both men and women saying that, okay, the rules are what they are but more is needed in the area of sex than the rules allow – and we’re gonna get ours and pretty much thumb our collective noses at the rules. This isn’t the backward step some folks believe it to be but a step forward in our evolution and, like it or no, steps that we’ve been taking since before the recorded history of our species.
These changes were inevitable; it was gonna happen even though we’re opposed to changes in sexual behavior; as a whole, we can bitch, moan, protest, whine, complain, argue and fight against this and if you understand the history of it all, it’s been a continual waste of time and effort because while change tends to occur slowly, it keeps occurring. It then becomes a question of how we react to this change and many believe that as crazy as it sounds, if you can’t beat them (and that been tried without any success), join them. Again, not everyone will jump onto the bandwagon… but as I’ve seen, more men are saying, “Shit, why not…?”
Whether it’s a good or bad thing is something I’ll leave up to you to decide – I’m just the messenger…