I’ll get right to it and further qualify this question: Is male bonding and male bisexuality really one and the same? A follow-on question is does bisexuality aid in fostering male bonding?
If you know anything about men it’s that like the dogs we are often accused of being similar to, we are territorial and more so when other males are around and all it takes to see this in action is for two guys who have never met before to meet each other and watch how that pack mentality of establishing “dominance” starts to happen, testosterone clogging the air as the two guys do the human equivalent of sniffing each other’s butts. Sometimes this is hilarious to watch, sometimes not but we are either gonna decide that we’re both okay or someone bears watching or should be avoided in the future.
We often get laughed at when we get into male bonding or, in today’s parlance, a bromance, which usually happens when we find that “Ted” and “Arnie” have a lot in common with each other and the more they have in common (and the longer they hang out) the more pronounced the bromance can be.
However, guys don’t need to bond in order to get nasty with each other but if a bond exists, that just makes it better and special because we do have a basic thing in common: We like having sex. As I’ve written over the last month or so (maybe even longer than that), the bro job has been making headlines and one can easily assume that if our hypothetical bros, Ted and Arnie, are extremely horny and don’t have access to a woman, it “makes sense” for them to turn to each other for some relief… and I’d agree but I’d also say it depends on how emotionally connected they are to each other and loving your bro like a brother counts… as does quantities of inhibition reducing alcohol and other intoxicants.
I’ve been seeing where a lot of bi guys eschew the quick hookup that’s possible for a situation that is more personal and binding, not so much being in love with the guy or being in a relationship but, yeah, having a deep enough connection/bond to be bros which paves the way for sexual activities… but this isn’t a given nor should anyone think that it is because some guys bond like they’ve been glued together and there are no thoughts of ever having sex with each other.
Male bonding and male bisexuality kinda don’t need each other; they are two different aspects of male behavior that could intersect with each other and can play nice with each other in the same way that love and sex aren’t the same things but they work well together.
Cityman asked if I thought our society should further encourage male bonding as a mean to foster male bisexuality (or something like that)… and I’m not sure that guys need “social approval” to bond or to throw down with each other if they choose to since, um, we’ve been doing this all along. I’m thinking that he’s thinking that if our society can grudgingly gets its head around homosexuality, by doing the same for male bisexuality, all the angst and stigma going around can be put to bed and other wonderful things.
We are funny, though, in that Ted and Arnie are serious bros and would do anything for each other if it were in their power to do so… except, say, suck each other’s cocks when the need presented itself or, “I love you, man… but not that much, ya know?” Can bonding initiate sexual curiosity? Yeah, I’d say it could depending on how much they share with each other but it’s not a given because some bros will talk about everything under the sun… just to keep conversations turning sexual… and not even saying that the subject never comes up because it can.
Like, I don’t know how many times in my life a bro has asked me what I’d do it some dude wanted to suck my dick or how many times a bunch of us have been hanging out and the subject comes up… and everyone categorically denies any interest, promises acts of violence and while, weirdly, maybe unconsciously, make statements alluding to supposedly impossible scenarios where they’d find their dick being eaten whole by another dude.
Yep, we’re just funny like that and part of the male bonding process is turning our noses up at guys who’d have sex with guys… and even if we are one of those guys – image is everything, after all.
While male bonding kinda comes with the territory, we all don’t bond or even want to and as I’ve written about, many men are “discovering” that if they are so inclined they can throw down with other like-minded guys and if anything that remotely looks like romance can be avoided, so much the better… but there are still like-minded guys who’d want to bond to some degree before the festivities begin.
Sometimes, it’s better the devil you know than the one you don’t and, sometimes, you want the devil you don’t know – less of a chance of being outed and, sometimes, the purpose isn’t to meet and make a bosom buddy; it’s to do some mutual cookie crumbling. I do believe that if our boys Ted and Arnie started out merely as a hookup but kept coming back to each other for more, at some point, it will be due to the bond forming between them as much as the sex being good.
If they just became very good friends and have established their bond, maybe it turns sexual for some reason, maybe it doesn’t – who’s to say? I think that one of Cityman’s thoughts about this is that men should not be cowed to not bond with each other if they wanna bond; they should not be afraid to let things go further if they want (or even need) to and not be subjected to centuries of prejudice and all because they’re doing something that works for them.
Cityman, did this work for ya?