After writing “Six Little Words” earlier this morning, I was in a bit of a funky mood after looking at what used to be… and then thinking about what’s going on now. I’ve seen bisexuality go through a shift, from a time when same-sex activities were greatly frowned upon and hidden in dark places to where things are a lot more overt, like more and more men and women are saying that while “the old ways” have a time honored purpose, individual needs have outgrown those old ways, and the stigma and shame of seeking same-sex satisfaction is being summarily ignored.
Well, more than it once was; even in my generation, many bisexuals have said, “Well, if I’m going to hell for this, I’m not going by myself so there will be plenty of company…” Maybe it’s just for the thrill of eating the forbidden fruit, maybe it’s just more people exercising their individuality and recognizing that the old ways cannot take care of every single need and that those needs can be taken care of without the “usual” fussing.
Oh, there is still much resistance to this; not everyone can or even wants to explore bisexuality and those who may treating this as if it’s some new, trendy thing (think of the bro job I’ve been writing about) are finding out that this is a life changing event and not some new, cool way to bust nuts and otherwise get your freak on.
Because I’ve been at this for most of my life, I have the advantage of seeing how things have changed and, at a very high level of thought, the logic of it all makes sense: If you want to and you can, then why not? Yes, yes, there are a billion reasons for why you shouldn’t even if you wanted or needed to and it is, to me, confirmation of something I learned decades ago, that logic and common sense just do not stand up well to emotional input and this can be seen when you discuss this with someone and they say, “Yeah, it makes sense, but…,” followed by a plethora of reasons why it doesn’t; even when you ask, “If you could eliminate or minimize the negatives, would you do it?” you still might get, “Yeah, but…” as a response and because even though we can intellectually justify this, it still feels wrong.
“Six Little Words” reminded me of how easy it was to throw down like this, requiring just a yes or no answer and if you did, fine, and if you didn’t, that was okay, too. Today, it’s my opinion that we make this more difficult than it has to be but I guess we wouldn’t be human if we didn’t and invoke “different strokes for different folks;” I’ve seen a shift in the thinking where budding bisexuals are in more of a “relationship” type of thing where, in the past, you didn’t need to be into someone in order to have satisfying sex with them but I’ve also seen another shift where many bisexuals are saying that, yes, they want the sexual experiences but, no, a relationship, well, a FWB would be nice but anything more than that would just complicate things.
Dealing with adult expectations in this removes a lot of the simplicity, for example, “Ron” and “Jeremy” both agree that a blow job would just what the doctor ordered but it may not be “as simple” as dropping their socks and grabbing each other’s cocks because conditions can enter the picture, like “Ron” is fine with things as long as “Jeremy” is wearing a woman’s panties or some other thing found to be personally enticing and exciting. Individual “freakiness” tends to trump just doing it and while this actually makes sense – we are all different, after all – yeah, this was a lot simpler when all we wanted to do was just have sex.
People are finding their niches, like top and bottom, femme or butch, and then sticking to them to the exclusion of all else and as if a reason can’t be found to further enhance the diversity of this kind of sex… but even this isn’t all that unusual in the grand scheme of things sexual because we always want what we want and in the way we want it… or if the way you’re already doing things isn’t broke, don’t fuck with it. And that’s fine but I can read every day where this… pickiness is causing some budding bisexuals a lot of frustration as they look for that ideal, custom designed situation but, in my opinion, without having the actual experience because as I always say, thinking and doing aren’t the same things; thinking is way easier.
But in the midst of this change, we are still finding our way, not really throwing caution to the wind but more like telling the old rules and admonishments against this to take a hike because they’re no longer gonna allow ancient dogma to interfer with their desires. Some see this as a major decline in our morality but I don’t believe that it is; it’s just that many folks are just tired of having certain limits placed upon them and impeding their pursuit of happiness; if “Cindy” and “Jessica” can find comfort and pleasure having sex with each other as well as men – and it serves to keep them grounded and all of that good stuff needed to make it through each and every day, then why not?
Again, you can probably think of a lot of reasons why this shouldn’t be done… and if you feel that way, take a moment and ask yourself why you do. We insist that such things shouldn’t happen… but not only have they always been happening, it’s escalating and bursting out of the closet and is threatening to make the DL a thing of the past.