Quite a few years ago, a close friend of mine visited me and the first two things I noticed when I answered the door was (1) he was visibly upset and (2) he had been drinking… at 10:30 in the morning. Once I asked him what was wrong, it all came pouring out – he’d been dumped by a girl he was feelings serious about. Poor guy… but for him? Not all that unusual since he rarely had a girlfriend longer than a couple of months.
My heart went out to him as, through all the tears and blubbering, he talked about how broken his heart was. I went over to him and hugged him as he completely broke down… and the next thing I knew, we were on the floor and sucking on each other’s dicks until nuts were flowing not once but twice. Afterward, well, um, I was stunned or, actually, still stunned; I was no stranger to sucking dick… but this guy… and someone I’d known for a very long time and thought – up until this happened – that there wasn’t anything I didn’t know about him?
We were sitting next to each other, me deep in thought and him looking confused (or whatever he had been drinking was kicking his ass harder) when he said, “I don’t know what made me do that!”
Shit, neither did I and while I wasn’t exactly feeling bad about what had happened, I was concerned about any impact on him; when a guy does this for the first time, it can be emotionally devastating so instead of asking him why he went after me I asked, “Are you okay?”
“Yeah…, no…, fuck, I don’t know,” he said just before he leaned over and went down on me again; we, um, we spent quite a bit of time sucking each other until neither of us could get it up. As we retrieved our pants and underwear, he seemed to be doing better as in not as buzzed or distraught as he had been hours earlier. He looked as if there was something he wanted to say; I’m not sure what it might have been but what he did say was, “Thanks; you’re the best friend I’ve ever had.” He left and I spent the rest of my day figuring out what the hell made this happen.
Emotional distress combined with alcohol was the culprit that day – but that didn’t explain why he came over the next day and we did it all over again but in my mind, it brought up a rather pointed question: How far would you go to help a friend?
Cityman and I chatted about this a little the other day as it relates to bro jobs, not so much in that bro jobs happen but in the sense that if you knew your boy was in “distress” and you could sense that a blow job would be of great benefit to him, would you offer to provide it – and I’m not sure (at the moment) if being bisexual or not truly plays into such a decision to give or receive.
You see, the perception is that men are emotionally closed off; the truth is that we’ve been conditioned not to display, ah, let’s call them “tender emotions.” We’re not supposed to cry but being angry, while not being cool or civil, is expected of us; likewise, we display lust (and to the chagrin and dismay of women at times) but displaying love, eh, not so much. We keep a lot of emotional shit locked down inside us and that’s actually unhealthy for anyone to do but I’ve seen where a guy can be akin to a pressure cooker that’s about to explode and when he does, an explosion into anger isn’t the result and under a certain set of conditions, what happens is an unexpected blow job.
You’ve heard the saying, “Only a woman knows what a woman needs?” The same is true about men and, I swear, I’ve been around guys whose pressure cooker is about to explode and I’ve instinctively known that the thing that will keep a bad explosion from happening is a different explosion and one initiated manually or orally. I mean, fellas, how many times have y’all been hanging out and giving another guy the business because he’s been acting in a way that screams, “You need to get laid, son!” You just know it even when he denies it, right?
Doesn’t mean that said guy is gonna get multiple offers to get his dick sucked unless, say, the booze has been flowing like Niagara Falls; any more, ain’t no telling what could happen. But if you were hanging with a good/close friend and he was down in the dumps and you could sense that pulling his dick out and jerking him off would make him feel better, would you offer that form of succor?
Once, I was with a friend who was bent out shape and we spent hours talking about what was bothering him. We parted ways with him feeling better but, maybe an hour later, he calls me and sounds troubled again; I ask him what’s going on and he replied, “Um, damn, can you tell me why I had an urge to suck your dick and why I really wanted you to suck mine?”
Keep in mind that he didn’t know I’m bisexual, okay?
He was upset and embarrassed by this and I did explain to him how under certain emotional stresses, yeah, such urges tend to show up unexpectedly; no, I didn’t think he was gay or otherwise weird; no, I wasn’t at all offended. When he asked what I would have done had he given in to that urge to blow me I replied, “Nothing; I guess we would have been sucking each other’s dick because, after all, we are friends, right?”
I did tell him that this wasn’t the first time I’d heard something like this so it wasn’t something I found all that unusual. He didn’t ask me if I’d ever done it and I didn’t volunteer that I had done it in that situation many times… but he did say, “I guess I know who my real friends are…”
When Cityman and I discussed this, he brought up the social implications of supplying that kind of help to a friend; would the friendship be destroyed or could an additional problem be created? Both are quite possible and without getting into some boring detail, I’ll just say that it depends. I’ve seen both things happen just as I’ve not seen either thing happen; some embarrassment, sure, but hey – we’re boys and I won’t tell if you won’t, okay?
Now – and in my opinion – the funniest version of this has been when I’ve been hanging with a guy and he rubs his crotch and says, “Man, I wouldn’t mind having my dick sucked right about now!” Really… um, why not just come out and ask if I’d be interested in a 69 with you? I’ve replied, “Yeah, I know what you mean!” – and then sit and watch his mind at work trying to decide if he wants to out the offer on the table or not. I’ve sat, highly amused, and have listened to guys repeat this much-needed desire – hint, hint – but I’ve always been of a mind that if that’s what you want to do, man up and ask me; at the worse, I politely say no and, no, I won’t mention that you mentioned it.
Yes, some have manned up and have run it up the flagpole, hoping I’d salute it; sometimes I have, sometimes I wouldn’t even if you paid me because it’s not so much the situation as it is the person involved. Yes, I’ve had some of them toss out this onto the table and I’ve not reacted to it, and they’ve said later, “You know, I was trying to find out if you’d be down for some head…” – and I’ve played dumb and said, “Really? I thought you were talking about finding some babe to blow you!” – and then shrugged in a nonplussed way.
While the bro job is being touted as a new and trendy thing horny guys are getting into, it’s not all that new and certainly not trendy. I do think that since we seem to be able to sense this need in each other, there’s a “newer”‘sense of – let’s call it acceptance for lack of a better word – where two guys kinda/sorta say that they can do this (a) because that’s what friends do for each other in times of need and (b), uh, dude, I won’t tell if you won’t. Indeed, a lot of guys are discovering that it can be easier to get your bro to blow you than it is convincing a babe to do it… provided you could find a babe who’d have this particular conversation with you to begin with; no offense meant ladies but y’all know how you can be about such things.
If your boy had this need and it would take care of whatever was bothering him, would you help him out? Hell, for the ladies reading this, would you help your girl out if you knew you’d make her feel better if you fingered or even went down on her? Or would you – man or woman – say that it’s not your problem and let that friend suffer because while you might be friends, the friendship ain’t that good or close?