When it comes to bisexuality, we can be jaded and single-minded in that we find something we like and stick with it even though, sometimes, we find ourselves regretting that, you know, like that definition of insanity, doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result.
Without an ounce of shame, I just love sucking white dick because, um, they taste good. Have I sucked dicks of other ethnicities? You betcha… and while I’d admit to having a preference, it’s not locked in some indestructible material that cannot be changed at any point and for any reason that makes sense to me.
One of the things I see a lot of bi guys doing is, by whatever process they utilize, decide on a type of guy they want to have sex with, from race to cock size to body type but, by doing so, ignore the other possibilities surrounding them. I’m not saying that it’s a bad thing to want what you want and in the way you want it… but if you pick a certain set of qualities and run with them – and without even thinking about sampling the diversity – what, if anything, have you learned? Sure, you’re gonna learn some shit… but are you learning and experiencing everything that can be learned and experienced?
Like guys who, for lack of a better word, get “fixated” on Black men. I understand this but what I like to ask these guys is, “Would you ever consider throwing down with someone who wasn’t Black?” Most of the time the answer is no; sometimes the answer is, “Maybe – I don’t know…” and sometimes they’ve said that they’ve never given it any thought, kinda long the lines of, “If it ain’t broke, don’t fuck with it!”
And that’s fine but as with anything that involves people, sometimes, the choice you make and stick with in this could have dire consequences and even I had to learn that while the many attributes men have – cock size, body type, etc. – if their mindset and attitude isn’t aligned with my sensibilities, all those “wonderful” attributes don’t mean shit.
Why does this matter? Well, the general perception of bisexual men is that we will jump on any dick that comes within reach and indiscriminately so when the truth is that the guys who are like this are a very small minority; the majority of us actually do stop and think about not only the dick we want to ambush but the consequences of our actions as well.
A guy asked me once about my favorite kind of guy and I answered, “Any guy with a dick that’s clean, in good working order, and who’s gonna let me play with it.” He didn’t like that answer and kept asking variations of his original question and in an attempt to nail me down to one particular demographic… then got a little miffed when he couldn’t do that and the reason why he couldn’t was because I’d had experiences across a wide spectrum of men – different races, different body types, ages, different cock sizes, attitudes and mindsets.
He’d said that he only got with Latinos, proclaiming and extolling their virtues as the best sexual partners ever; I asked him, “Have you ever gotten down with any other kind of guy?”
He said, “Nah, man, I ain’t gonna waste my time with those other scrubs!”
“Then how could you possibly know that Latinos are the best if you’ve no experience with other men?”
As it turned out, he made his choice based on what he’d heard from other guys instead of conducting his own “experiments” and coming to his own conclusions… and while everyone has the right to do things like this, I ask again what, if anything, do you really learn? How much good and satisfying sex do you miss out on by picking one type of guy and never changing?
He’d said something like it’s all the same, that there were no differences, and nothing could ever change his mind about Latino men. Well, until word got out that one Latino lover he had not only physically abused him badly enough that he required hospitalization, that is; he also got a major dose of syphillis and, rumor had it, had to get his dick and balls amputated to save his life. If true, well, this guy learned a hard lesson about the choices he made.
We like to crow that variety is the spice of life… but if you only stick with one thing, how much variety are you really experiencing? Now, if you’ve done ‘extensive experiments’ with other things and enough to eventually decide that, uh huh, Oriental twinks who are all bottom and with no body hair and sporting small dicks is what really what gets it done for you, fine… but to, say, pick Hispanic bears and never checking out any other kind of guy? Have you really made the best choice and, importantly, was it the best informed choice you could make and not one based on what others had to say?
I don’t think so… but that’s me.