For bisexual men, finding a willing (and often, compatible) male partner can be daunting, frustrating, or seemingly impossible depending on where one lives. From what I’ve been seeing here and there, if you’re looking for a guy to get busy with, Atlanta and San Francisco two of the places to be. Alas, this isn’t about having to scrounge for plane tickets to these cities as much as it is about the kind of men one can run into in their searches.
There are the guys who talk a good game and even post highly suggestive pictures; ah, man, these guys can drive you nuts because they say all of the right things up to including setting up meets that, sadly, they have no intentions on keeping. Why they don’t is varied but it’s been my experience that guys like this like the fantasy of throwing down with another guy but aren’t really inclined to make actions match the intensity of their words… or they get their jollies fucking with hopeful men.
There are the macho, overly aggressive guys who come across as pushy, demanding, insular, arrogant and other adjectives that singles them out more as royal assholes than potential sex partner. It’s not a question if they can deliver the good as stated but, as I tend to say to these guys, “You can’t ask me any better than that?” For them, it’s all about what they want to do and whatever it is you desire falls on deaf ears, is seen as insignificant or irrelevant; you try to get your two cents worth in and some of these guys will question your manliness in some very uncool ways. Oh, these guys do very much appeal to other men but there’s no excuse for being rude and boorish, is there?
Then there are the guys who seem to always be pressed for time; they wanna do whatever as long as the festivities began five minutes ago and, for some reason, you just can’t seem to pick any time that’ll make them happy unless you just happened to be sitting outside their current location by pure chance when they hit you up… and then they’d get irritated if you took too long to park your car, get inside and naked, and get the party started.
There are the guys who are into… stuff that most would find distasteful and downright disgusting, like those fellas who are into water sports and scat and other things that even hardcore bisexual men would find very weird. Any guy who’d want me to come over, put on a diaper, and then pee all over him is someone I’d rather avoid, thank you very much.
Now, the guys who are eager to please, well, they may seem like a godsend; they’re not pushy or demanding, not into weird shit, they’re most certainly not teasing you or leading you on and time isn’t an issue. They want your dick and in anyway you care to give it to them… and these are the guys who scare me the most. I know – that doesn’t make a lot of sense and more so when, at least on the surface, these men are the easiest ones to have sex with. Whenever I’ve run across these men, wow, either they have a very bad case of “candystoreitis” – they’ve gotten that taste for this kind of sex and are now just buck wild about getting more – or they have the potential to get stuck to you tighter and closer than white on rice.
If you’re not of a mind to get involved with other men on deeper levels – like FWB – these guys could pose a problem. Oh, don’t get me wrong here: These guys are, typically, lots of fun to have sex with; what they may lack in experience and skill they more than make up with boisterous, infectious enthusiasm – you just gotta love the fact that they are so eager to please that they’re willing to do stuff they’ve told you they’re not into, like, getting boned in the butt, for instance.
I’ve learned- and, yes, the hard way – that the problems with these men isn’t the sex you can have with them: It’s what happens after you do and some can be damned annoying when they start asking for more naked time with you and, for some men, time they don’t have to spend. They can get on your last good nerve in so many ways that they’ll make you wonder why you bothered to bed them in the first place and, I’ll say often enough, you can wind up disrupting other plans for your time to give them the dick… just to shut them up and in the hopes they’ll stop bugging you.
Good luck with that. Even when you make it known and clear that you’re not interested in any long term encounters – and they say that they understand this – yeah, good luck with that…
It’s not that this kind of guy can’t be managed – they can be… but at what cost to you? Now, if your life isn’t all that busy, fine but if you’re like most guys – got a job, other friends, maybe even other or favored hookups, or a family, you just don’t have the time and, ultimately, the patience to accommodate the eager to please guy who’s gone from an exuberant sexual partner to being an albatross super glued around your neck.