Today’s Bisexual Thoughts: Deal Breakers

20 Mar

This is an an unfortunate series of events that can derail a bisexual’s quest to get down and dirty with someone and, over the years, wow, I’ve heard some real doozies.  Now, one of the things one must expect and get used to is being rejected; some go on the premise that being rejected isn’t personal but, yeah, it can be, not that the person rejecting you would admit to that (but some might).

Getting rejected out of hand is bad enough but to run into someone, establish a rapport, get on the verge of arranging a meet – and then get bitch-slapped by one of many deal breakers that can crop up.  Everyone has their own list of what constitutes a broken deal and one should expect to run into many situations that start out looking good for you and have a personal deal breaker show up and spoil the party.

On of the things I’ve observed is that a lot of deal breakers can sound… petty to you when the object of your lust puts one on the table but keep in mind that when you toss one of your own onto the table, yup, yours can seem just as petty to the person you’re dealing with.  Negotiations can break down; the time isn’t right, other day to day things have priority, stuff like that, but in my opinion, nothing can ruin a potentially good moment than to have the guy you’re talking to announce sadly that no hookup can happen because you’re circumcised, your dick is either too big or not big enough, and many more things that, on the one hand allows one to really personalize their sexual experience while on the other, can almost guarantee that they won’t be getting any dick and time soon.

And some guys come up with deal breakers with the intent on not having sex; I guess for these guys, it’s either the thrill of the hunt that gets them off or, sometimes, they just can’t make themselves go through with actually having the sex that’s probably always on their mind.  I’m not saying that having deal breakers isn’t important but I’ve seen over the years that having a lot of them makes doing the nasty a lot harder than it has to be.

I once had a guy break a deal because of the brand of deodorant I use; one guy broke the deal because I was taller than he was; another deal got 86’d because I’m not completely hairless in the body hair department.  The weirdest one I’ve ever had laid on me was the guy who said while he didn’t have any issues with Black men, he made it clear that if I weren’t Black, we could have some really good sex together and, nope, he wasn’t of a mind to explain this to me.  A real, shame, too, because I thought he was an excellent prospect. When a deal gets broken because you wear briefs instead of boxers, well, maybe it’s me but there’s something wrong going on.

Is there a solution to minimizing the impact of deal breakers?  About the only thing one can do is to manage their own list of deal  breakers because, obviously, there’s not much you can do about someone else’s set of deal breakers.  We live in a world where “I want what I want and in the way I want it” is the general theme which makes sense but tends to represent a level of inflexibility that can serve to make sure that if you’re looking to get busy with someone, it ain’t gonna happen and more so since once your list of deal breakers gets created, there’s no reason to change that list.

When you get too specific, you pretty much eliminate nearly all possibilities in favor of a sexual encounter with someone who may not really exist or you have zero chance of coming across, even using apps that can have a global reach.  It creates one hell of a deal breaker when you come across the “perfect” person you wanna have sex with… and they’re in Barcelona, Spain, or some other locale ya might not be able to get to.

A long time ago, someone asked me how I managed to get [perhaps] more than my fair share of dick and, essentially, it’s because while I have my share of deal breakers, I don’t have many of them and some can be adjusted on a per case basis. It had occurred to me, lo those many years ago, that if I needed some dick (or even some pussy) it would be in my best interest to make it as easy as possible on my end since that’s the only part of this I can truly control.

Some guys, when advertising themselves, write profiles that are instant deal breakers, often because of what they say but also because of what they don’t say… and how they say something; it seems to me that some dudes just lack an understand of the power of words and how they can greatly influence a deal and utterly shatter one.  Sometimes, the deal breaker can be as simple as not reading someone’s profile; nothing instantly trashes a deal quicker than to have a guy hit you up and tell you he’s gonna so some shit to you that your profile says you’re not interested in.

Or making it known that if you wanna get with him, you’re gonna essentially be required to pay for the privilege… or maybe about a billion more things that, again, will pretty much guarantee that if you were looking for some action, you ain’t gonna get any.  And, if you’ve been sitting around wondering why you can’t find someone to have sex with, um, the problem might not be external, to be polite about it…

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Posted by on 20 March 2017 in Today's Bisexual Thoughts


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