From time to time, I crank up the search engines in an attempt to find the answers to a few questions I’ve always had about this and what I’ve been finding are a lot of things that refer to ancient Rome, ancient Greece, some skimpy references from other ancient civilizations like Japan and India. From these references, one can easily see that, sure enough, humanity hasn’t always played it straight when it came to things sexual… but those same references are often uncertain of when humans first began to engage in, um, inter-gender sexual congress (just to make up something). It stands to reason that somewhere in our history, a lot of sexual firsts jumped off; some long-dead human or humanoid offshoot “invented” oral sex; hell, somewhere along the line, males and females figured out how to put A into B to make a baby, right? Likewise, some of our very ancient ancestors discovered that oral sex and putting A into B also worked among men and I find it rather curious that no one seems to know, even roughly, when we started displaying these behaviors.
Was that information somehow documented but got lost somewhere along the line… or was it conveniently misplaced at the advent of religion? Beats the hell out of me and, apparently, I’m not the only person who doesn’t know the answer to this. The reason I bring this up is that when Cityman and I talk about this, he asks a lot of really good questions like what gets some of us going in this direction and whether the causes are of a social nature or due to evolutionary processes, i.e., our ancestors learned how to have sex like this and that ability wound up getting passed along as a part of our genetic makeup, given a bit of credence to what some homosexuals mean when they say that, for them, this isn’t a matter of choice and that they were born this way.
And perhaps we were; if this behavior wound up being encoded into our genetic information, well, okay gay folks, you might be right about that but, at the same time, the one reason why everyone on the planet isn’t doing it like this is because of the advent of morality and the social conditioning we all receive when growing up; it puts a fairly effective barrier between our primal selves as well as directing our primal urges in a singular direction that I’m sure I don’t have to explain to anyone at this point, just like I’m sure no one really wants me to launch into an explanation of a test performed on flatworms and behavior. It’s also pretty obvious that despite that as far as social conditioning goes, um, some of us are able to reject that conditioning wholly or in part.
Some of y’all might not think this is really all that important; it is what it’s always been and there’s really nothing that can be done about it even though, for the longest time, trying to make and keep everyone totally heterosexual has been an ongoing project and one that, again, obviously, hasn’t really been all that successful when you stop and think about it. Maybe it isn’t really all that important but when the question comes up why there are so many men and women who are bisexual comes up, meh, I just don’t believe that the reason is purely social in nature. Cityman had asked – and the men who inhabit the bisexual forum have asked – why some guys get to their thirties (and older) and, pow – they have an urge to play with a dick and one that they’ve never had before, let alone ever thought of. It’s not as if I’ve never observed this but, er, I’ll be damned if I can explain it except to say that unless this particular demographic among men dive into the pool because of social issues, hmm, maybe it’s some kind of internal wake up call? The science nerds among us know that there are a lot of things within our makeup that lie dormant within us; some things never wake up, some things put in a surprise appearance, and even some things get triggered by other things, does weird shit like skipping generations, only affects men or only affects women – shit like that.
And, as Cityman suggested, perhaps social things act as a catalyst to awaken that which might lie dormant? Sounds good on paper but I’m not sure I have what it takes to definitively prove this; given that there are a lot of experts in the field of genetics (in particular), if any of them could prove it, they haven’t been able to do it – yet. There’s a lot of scientific theory about why some of us behave like this but not all of us do; scientists have been searching for a “gay gene” for as long as I can remember and while there are some who believe this exists, there are many more who are looking for something that they’re pretty sure doesn’t actually exist in the human genome. I’d suppose that it’s “easier” and less complicating just to chalk this behavior up to things social and, simply, accept that it is what it is and leave it at that.
Which doesn’t exactly help the guy who’s metaphorically beating his head against a wall trying to figure out why he wants to suck his next door neighbor’s cock; it doesn’t help the guy who has, since the onset of puberty, been faithfully heterosexual but now – and for reasons he can’t explain to himself – he has this urge to lie down, spread his legs, and [bluntly and crudely] get screwed in the ass… and he’s never had a conscious thought or desire before this WTF moment in his life and, even better, he’s never had a reason to complain about his sex life with women or his ability to socially interact with them.
Yesterday, I read something on the bisexual forum from a woman who had discovered her husband had fantasies about getting jiggy with men. She wanted to know if this was normal for men (in general), whether this meant that her hubby was really and truly bisexual and meant that he was dissatisfied with the sex they had and now he’s planning to go forth and dive into a cock-sucking rage. She didn’t seem overly worried; there are some things you can read about this very same subject and you can tell via their words that the person writing is very damned worried. Behavioral scientists have been saying for the longest time that it is, indeed, pretty normal for someone to have sexual fantasies – and having said this, it wouldn’t surprise me if some of you reading this say that, nope, not me – never had a single fantasy in my whole life. You might also be surprised to learn that you’re probably wrong about that – but it’s not a topic for debate at this time. The experts know that we have them (and not just about sex) and they kinda/sorta agree that this is simply how our minds work unless someone actually does lack an imagination – and some people do, believe it or not. It’s some complicated shit about cognitive function and what it really tends to prove that even today, we don’t really know how our brains work or why they do some of the shit they do, oh, like, making a heterosexual man “decide” one fine day that he really and seriously wants to suck a dick along with giving his old lady her weekly injection of semen.
Anyway, like I said, Cityman and I were having a great discussion about this, trying to suss out just what it is that makes people decide that going both ways is a great idea, at least in theory. I asked him a question: “The first time you sucked a dick, did it cross your mind and did it surprise you that despite never having done it before, um, you knew how to do it?” Now, one can easily and even justifiably say that if you’ve ever had your dick sucked, duh, all you gotta do is remember being sucked in order to know how to do it, right? But, um, how does someone who has never been sucked know this? Yes, yes, there always been porn to provide visual instruction and that’s also valid but as I had said to Cityman, I’m pretty sure that when he was in the moment, he wasn’t thinking about whatever porn he’s seen or however many times he’d had his dick sucked.
And not everyone has watched porn, have they?
Yep, Cityman and I get into some pretty deep conversations about the genesis of bisexuality. Certainly, there are social issues that can be taken into consideration and most of them are very well known but there was a time when I used to say that a man doesn’t wake up one morning and, for no reason, decides that sucking at dick (at the very least) would be a good thing for him to start doing… and, perhaps, I was wrong about that because it seems that there are people – men and women – who do actually wake up one fine morning and decide that being totally heterosexual is somehow not enough for them, that experiencing the best of both sexual world sounds like a damned good idea… and, me being the curious person I am, well, why does this happen for some… but doesn’t happen for all? Why do some find out about this before being a teenager but this same realization doesn’t dawn on someone until much later in life? I will probably never know the real answer to this or if there is a real answer but if you’re bisexual or even thinking about it, shit, I don’t know about you guys but if I weren’t already bisexual and this landed on me at my age, hell, yeah, I’m gonna be wondering why it did and I’m not gonna accept that it just did.
And I’m not the only one who can’t accept such a non-answer to something that can have a profound effect on someone’s life. Some say it’s overthinking it and maybe they’re right but it makes me wonder how it’s possible to overthink something that, collectively, we don’t seem to really know a whole lot about? There’s nothing simple about this and anyone who has had to ponder this has found out how not-simple this really is. Theories abound and while some of them read as being totally absurd, there are some that are plausible and, sadly, unless some archaeologists uncover some long lost evidence that would explain this – or, as some folks suspect, the various religious entities confess that they made this stuff disappear purposely – we may never know how this behavior in humans came to be. It’s not a modern thing for us and I suspect that this behavior is as old as humanity is and more so since, religiously, the prohibitions against such behavior were in place way before the birth of Christ – that whole BC versus AD thing.