Today’s Bisexual Thoughts: Oops!

19 Apr

I was in the moment, happily and busily sucking on the hard dick in my mouth and not only being flooded by those sensations but the extra sensations of being, ah, vigourously sucked.  In such moments, time doesn’t behave properly; sometimes it speeds by impossibly fast, sometimes it gets incredibly slow and it’s all because of being intensely focused on what’s being done in the moment.

He’s getting close to cumming – well, so am I and my focus was momentarily broken by being surprised that I hadn’t already, given the aggressive way he going at me.  Ah, yes… I can feel the tremors racing along his shaft, feel and taste the increased amount of pre-cum on my tongue and if I do this right now, he should…

Yes!  He’s shuddering and shaking, cussing and, important to the moment, flooding my greedy (yes, I did use that word) mouth with salty spunk… when I heard a “voice” say, “You know you’re gonna burn in hell for this, don’t you?”  It’s not that I’d never heard this before and, normally, it would have distracted me but, ah, let’s just say that I found myself in the same situation as the guy whose dick was now getting soft in my mouth, but minus the verbal outbursts, okay?

Not for the first time, I thought about that burning in hell thing, albeit after the fact and how troubling that thought was.  After all, I’d broken a top-level taboo by sucking that guy’s dick as well as being sucked by him – and then compounded the violation by doing it all over again and, yes, despite hearing that voice in my head practically screaming at me to stop breaking the rules unless you want your immortal soul to be in eternal torment.

When I contemplated this later and the voice in my head asked why I did this (not once but twice, mind you), my answer was, “Oops!” and I probably don’t need to tell you that The Voice of Morality did not find my answer amusing or satisfactory and, for being so blatantly flippant, it sent me on a guilt trip that, I guess, was supposed to cow me and make me toe the line going forward… not that this ever worked.

This time, however, I found myself distracted by wondering if I would really wind up being a crispy critter in whatever hell I could be consigned to in the afterlife and for an unknown amount of time, I was genuinely worried about that… until the “no bullshit” part of my mind pointed out that, um, you’re not dead yet, are you?

Obviously not… but this is something that bisexuals (in particular) worry about, the issue at hand being whether or not they’re really doing something horribly wrong if they’re thinking about getting into this or if, as I had, just got finished thumbing my nose at The Rules of Moral Behavior.  Again.  Did I mention that I thumbed my nose twice this particular time?

One of the questions I strove to understand early on was, “How can something that feels so good be a bad thing to do?” and, no, not in the sense of having a bad experience – those are never fun, are they?  Yet, there can be a clusterfuck of a problem rattling around inside your head like a BB in a tin can because, on one side, there’s The Rules that prohibit such behavior and, on the other side, there’s the sure and certain knowledge that if you’ve broken the boy/girl only rule, um, you couldn’t possibly be the only person who’s broken that rule.

Some people get deeply conflicted about this as the battle between what they believe and reality comes together (no, not a pun) and, yes, it can cause one to experience severe bouts of depression that require hours of therapy and dealing with the effects of medications designed to combat depression.  Then again, some folks, when faced with this moral dilemma say to themselves, “If God didn’t want me to be like this, I wouldn’t be like this!” and, going forward, accept the risks of their behavior under the auspices of YOLO – You Only Live Once so ya better make the most out of the time you have.

Someone asked me what I thought was a good question:  What if when you die, you find out that you really do have to stand in judgement for what you’ve done?  My answer, after really thinking hard about it, was twofold:  I’ve got some explaining to do and, um, yeah, my ass just might be in a lot of trouble.  The person who asked the question thought I was being a smart-ass about what they thought was a very real and serious issue but, no, that was simply the answer I came up with and I further made that person miffed when I asked, “But aren’t our sins, whatever they may be, already forgiven because Jesus died on the cross for us?”

“And didn’t God give us free will?”

Yeah… they didn’t like having their argument of moral righteousness used against them.  But, as I also explained to them, it’s not like I don’t know what The Rules are; I just opt to not pay much attention to them at certain times.  Yes, it’s a conscious decision to do so and exercising my right to free will and all that and, really, just because you’re not of a mind to commit a Rules violation where boys having sex with boys is concerned, that doesn’t mean that someone won’t be of a mind to shatter the rules like a cheap piece of glass.

Some believe that bisexuals are totally ignorant of their wrongdoings and that’s not true; they believe that we tread upon a path of immoral thoughts and behaviors without considering the possible consequences of our actions… when, in fact, our awareness of this contributes itself to those severe bouts of depression I mentioned earlier in this rambling.  Our awareness can make us question and second guess ourselves and, yes, sometimes, that internal conflict can be so complicated that we just “shut down…”

Or find ourselves saying, “Oops!” a lot and, um, usually after the fact, as it can turn out.  Or like one guy told me, “I might hate myself in the morning… but it’s not morning yet!”

Leave a comment

Posted by on 19 April 2017 in Today's Bisexual Thoughts


Tags: , , ,

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

Acquiescent Soul

Watching life as it passed by

Justifiable Opinions

We all have them, lets share what we think

Jenny's Swinger Party and Dating Advice 🎉

23 year old real estate agent & swinger 💋

Katya Evangeline

From Missionary to Sex Preacher and Loving It!

Domestic Discipline, Jenny style!

Unconventional journey to unimaginable fulfillment.


All the things that make me, well "me."


If I had a power color, it would be sparkle. Landon Brinkley

Hopeful Heartache

Ramblings about life, relationships, anxiety, depression, and questions.

SeXXy Julie

Sordid Sex Stories & Erotica of a Cougar

Temperature's Rising

It's getting hot in here...

A Question of Lust

"Love My Way, It's a New Road"

Madeline Harper



Random thoughts from a random mind

Equal Anarchy

Equality, Gender, Feminism, Sexuality

Sensual Desires

Sensual Poetry


Writing about recovery.

The Watering Hole

Where everyone comes to quench their thirst for insight to life's challenging questions.

B0Y . LU5T

Coming to terms with being male, atheist, married, over 40, bisexual, kinky and blurring the lines of monogamy while living in a conservative "red state" .


Parts Of My Life

Date A Bisexual


The Wise Serpent


Fetishes, Gender Issues, Sexual Politics, Erotic Memoirs

a worried whimsy

bouncing between happy and anxious

ann st vincent

My journey through marriage, open marriage, divorce, being a Mom, sexual rebirth, online dating, failed relationships, and lots of sex

The Conquest Files

"The truth is rarely pure and never simple." - Oscar Wilde

More Is Merrier

Views on consensual non-monogamy

Brighton Bipolar

Adult Survivor of Child Abuse and Diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder - Working towards ending the stigma of Mental Illness

The Self-Actualized Life

Have a fulfilling life sexually and every other way!

Assentively Yours

Ramblings of a depressed mind and other nuances.

Larry Archer's World (

------ Erotica from the dirty mind of Larry Archer


is there a path to a successful open marriage?


The silent inside of an anonymous Indian rebelling against society

The (Bi)te

The uninteresting world of a young bisexual girl


What Perspective Matters Most Depends on Your Perception


Just my random thoughts and meanderings... I'll try to keep you entertained

Roller Coaster Life of a Fat Girl

Highs and Lows of My Weight Loss Journey


when and why size matters


I write when the choice is to die if I don't

%d bloggers like this: